This episode of Sisters in Sobriety dives into sober sex, desire, and rebuilding intimacy without substances with guest Taylor McConnachie - Registered Psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist, founder of Embodied Sexual Wellness & Psychotherapy in Simcoe, Ontario. Taylor specializes in holistic sex therapy that blends science, somatics, and the sacred to help people heal shame, navigate desire discrepancies, and cultivate empowered sexuality.

The answer questions that many sober (and sober-curious) listeners ask: What actually changes about desire and arousal in sobriety? How do somatic practices, mindful masturbation, and body scans help you get out of your head and into your body? What if there’s a desire discrepancy in a long-term relationship—or you’re dating for the first time sober and can’t tell whether you’re attracted? And how do we redefine intimacy when performance anxiety, shame, or old narratives show up?

They'll talk about clear, trauma-informed steps to rebuild sexual wellbeing: using body scans to notice sensation without judgment; practicing mindful masturbation to shift from performance to presence; understanding spontaneous vs. responsive desire (and why sobriety often tilts toward responsive); approaching erectile concerns and arousal blocks through reconnection rather than quick fixes; and reframing “frequency goals” to reduce pressure and increase genuine sexual satisfaction. Expect grounded strategies that integrate attachment, somatics, and practical communication skills.

Taylor also shares personal and clinical stories—from her own journey with pelvic pain and endometriosis in a rural community with few resources to real-world examples of couples rediscovering vulnerability as the engine of intimacy. Sonia opens up about her “sober sexual debut,” fumbling, and learning to feel desire without the shortcut of alcohol. They'll unpack the grief for what sex used to feel like and the hope of what it can become with curiosity and compassion.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

00:00:43 — Why sex therapy needs to be its own specialty (and why many therapists aren’t trained to talk about sex)

00:03:10 — Taylor’s path: pelvic pain, endometriosis, and building the practice she needed but couldn’t find

00:05:02 — When a couples therapist refers to a sex therapist (scope, overlap, and teamwork)

00:07:12 — Certification matters: what AASECT tells you about training and safety

00:09:18 — Only ~14 AASECT-certified sex therapists in Canada—why that scarcity matters for care access

00:10:20 — From CBT to somatics: helping clients get out of their heads and into their bodies

00:12:05 — “Science meets the sacred”: honoring evidence while rejecting rigid pathologizing

00:14:52 — Movement as medicine: reconnecting with arousal and erection through embodied practice

00:16:48 — Pleasure after shame: the first time a client truly feels what their body can do

00:18:07 — Sober sex 101: noticing more (and why that can feel overwhelming and beautiful)

00:20:02 — Mindful masturbation as foundational homework for sober intimacy

00:22:31 — Presence over performance: rewiring dopamine loops without substances

00:23:14 — Performance anxiety myths: why sobriety can improve erectile function

00:26:12 — Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and why sobriety often shifts the balance

00:29:05 — Grieving the old high: processing disappointment when sober sex feels different

00:31:22 — Normalize the fumble: reducing shame to unlock curiosity and desire

00:34:18 — Emotional intimacy as the gateway to sexual intimacy (and how to build it)

00:37:05 — Practicing vulnerability in bite-size reps to increase safety and trust

00:40:02 — Desire discrepancy is common: moving from urgency to understanding

00:45:02 — Taking sex off the pedestal: experiments that reveal what’s really holding a relationship together

00:46:18 — First step if you feel disconnected: body scans, zero judgment, gentle repetition

Taylor's Links

📸 Instagram: @embodiedsexualwellness

🌐 Website: embodiedsexualwellness.com

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram