EFR 884: Yale Psychiatrist Explains the Science of Revenge (From Addiction to Forgiveness) and How Revenge Sabotages Your Health with James Kimmel, Jr.

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5d ago 1:37:35

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In this gripping and mind-opening conversation, Yale psychiatrist and author Dr. James Kimmel Jr. joins us to explore one of humanity's most primal urges—revenge. Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and personal experience, Dr. Kimmel explains how revenge mimics addiction in the brain and why many of us unknowingly suffer from “revenge cravings.” He shares a deeply personal story of nearly acting on revenge as a teenager, the lessons he learned as a litigator-turned-researcher, and practical, science-backed ways to break the cycle. From mass shootings and bullying to road rage and “revenge bodies,” this episode dives deep into the psychology of retaliation, the illusion of justice, and how forgiveness may be the ultimate act of self-healing.

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In this episode we discuss...

03:25 – What is revenge? Real-life examples and dangers

06:39 – Legal revenge: Lawyers as licensed avengers

11:30 – The definition of grievance and how it fuels revenge

16:00 – Mass shooters and "grievance collectors"

17:35 – Dr. Kimmel’s personal revenge story

25:02 – Masculinity, shame, and revenge

28:27 – Why revenge seems inevitable

30:15 – Why bullies see themselves as victims

33:38 – The monster isn't people—it's the craving for revenge

35:22 – Justice vs. punishment in addiction and revenge

37:54 – Can we solve revenge like an addiction?

40:45 – The neuroscience of revenge cravings

44:18 – Legal vs. illegal retaliation and the arrow of time

49:24 – Dr. Kimmel’s revenge addiction as a lawyer

53:06 – The pain of inflicting pain on others

56:04 – The Miracle Court mental role-play

58:45 – Neuroscience of forgiveness

01:00:05 – Justice vs. revenge: How language shapes violence

01:05:21 – Why revenge escalates: evolutionary roots

01:15:58 – Revenge body & revenge sex: healthy or harmful?

01:20:04 – Road rage and everyday revenge

01:21:26 – Hollywood’s revenge addiction: From Kill Bill to The Lion King

01:28:27 – GLP-1 drugs and reducing revenge cravings

01:32:43 – Forgiveness as the fastest cure

01:36:17 – Ever Forward

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Learn more at JamesKimmelJr.com

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