Episode #69: Course Sneak Peek - The 'I Vs We' Problem The Luella Jonk Show podcast

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Episode #69: Course Sneak Peek - The 'I vs We' Problem

6d ago 37:33

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In this solo episode, I'm sharing something close to my heart - a core teaching from my new Conjugal Love course that challenges everything our culture tells us about marriage and relationships. If you think marriage is supposed to be all roses and rainbows, I have news for you: you're setting yourself up for failure.

I dive deep into the dangerous myth of individualism in marriage and why the moment you said "I do," it actually transformed into "we do." Yet most of us slip back into "I" thinking faster than we can blink, and our culture is constantly reinforcing this independence mentality that's poisoning our marriages.

Here's what I unpack in this episode:

✅ Why suffering and love are inseparable - and why I'd be worried if your relationship doesn't have challenges

✅ The truth about marriage as a covenant, not a contract - it's actually a triad with God at the center

✅ Real-life examples of where "I vs We" shows up: quality time, finances, parenting decisions, and household responsibilities

✅ Why keeping score in your marriage will destroy it - and what to do instead during different seasons of life

✅ The powerful puzzle piece analogy that changed how I view Christian marriage

✅ A practical Gottman exercise called "Dreams Within Conflict" that moves you from "I" to "we" thinking

✅ Why partnership doesn't mean sameness - it means unity through differences

As a therapist for 25 years, I've seen too many couples trying to outdo each other instead of carrying the cross together. Our strengths aren't meant to make us independent - they're designed to complement each other. I'm not ashamed of my weaknesses (don't put me near IKEA furniture!), and you shouldn't be either.

This episode will challenge you to catch yourself when you slip into modern "I" thinking and ask instead: "How can I turn this into a moment of we?" Because marriage isn't two people trying to win - it's two people becoming one flesh, interlocked like puzzle pieces that can't move without affecting the other.

If you're tired of the cultural lie that you can "do it all on your own," this episode is for you. And yes, I tell you the truth even when it sounds grim - that's just who I am.

🔔 Remember: You cannot live as one flesh if you keep protecting your own turf. Unity demands sacrifice, humility, and daily surrender to what's best for "us," not just "me."

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Ready to see your marriage completely differently?

My new 12-module course on conjugal love isn't about fixing your relationship - it's about discovering what marriage actually is. For less than the cost of one therapy session ($140 Canadian), you and your partner get lifetime access to transformational content that reveals marriage as God intended it: a sacred mystery that sanctifies you both.

Each module includes a short video, digestible reading, discussion prompts, and practical exercises, plus live Q&A sessions with me. This is for busy couples who want to reconnect in the evenings and turn their ordinary moments into extraordinary grace.

Once you see marriage as a sacrament rather than a contract, you can't unsee it - and everything changes.

Course Information:

12 modules released every three weeks starting October 1st
Includes live Q&A sessions and lifetime access
Click here to access the link to the course!
Alternative Link: https://luellajonk.thrivecart.com/introduction-a-course-in-conjugal-love/

200 episodes

Episode #69: Course Sneak Peek - The 'I vs We' Problem

The Luella Jonk Show

published 6d ago