Episode 4: Pain Flare Days - How to Cope When Nothing Helps

September 27

In this episode, Greg and Rich tackle the difficult topic of "Pain Flare Days"—those challenging times when it feels like nothing works to alleviate chronic pain. They discuss personal strategies, the importance of mindset, and how to find relief when you feel like you're at the end of your rope.

Key Themes & Strategies Discussed:

• The Power of Language: Rich points out that the episode's title, "How to cope when nothing helps," can feel defeating from the start. The hosts agree that reframing our thoughts and words can make a significant difference in how we approach a difficult pain day.
• Giving Yourself Grace: A central theme is the importance of being kind and patient with yourself. Rich shares insights from a conversation with his wife, emphasizing the need to "give yourself grace to hurt" and not get angry or self-critical for canceling plans due to pain. Greg adds that it's about being non-judgmental and not viewing yourself as a failure.
• Distraction Therapy: Both hosts find value in distraction to take their minds off the pain.
  • Hobbies: Greg mentions enjoying adult coloring books and beading. Rich has found a great distraction in playing fantasy football with friends and family, which keeps him engaged and focused on something other than his pain.
  • Games: The hosts discuss video games, like Grand Theft Auto, and online jigsaw puzzles as potential coping tools.
  • Other Distractions: They also suggest audiobooks and taking naps as helpful strategies.
• The Importance of Connection & Asking for Help:
  • Venting and Sharing: Expressing the pain, whether through venting or sharing with a loved one, is a key coping mechanism.
  • Don't Suffer in Silence: Greg and Rich stress that you don't have to go through it alone. Asking for help from a spouse, friend, doctor, or support group is crucial. They highlight that it's okay to ask for help and to be specific about your needs.

Noteworthy Points & Quotes:

• "When nothing seems to help, you know, what do you do? You vent." - Rich
• "It's about giving yourself grace to take the time you need due to the pain that you're feeling, practicing patience with yourself." - Rich
• "If you've never experienced pain, you don't get that experience of when you're not in pain... I think when we suffer from chronic pain, sometimes allowing ourselves to feel it, then when we're not in pain, we we really can appreciate the the gold in that." - Greg
• "There's a lot of science [that] demonstrates that kindness and being kind to to other people helps us so much, if not more so than the other person." - Greg
• "Ask for help and don't give up because it's really easy to to suffer in silence." - Rich

Resources:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: If you are struggling with emotional distress or in a crisis, you can call or text 988 anytime in the United States to connect with a trained crisis counselor. Greg notes, "Even if you're not suicidal, you can call and say, look, I'm not suicidal but I need someone to talk to, they'll have a conversation to you." https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://988lifeline.org/

• U.S. Pain Foundation: A non-profit organization that provides resources, support, and advocacy for people living with chronic pain. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://uspainfoundation.org/

• The Podcast Website: For more episodes and to suggest a topic for discussion, visit kindnessrx.org.