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When you discipline your child are you also doing this one important thing?

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Manage episode 475604838 series 2898713
Content provided by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Send us a text

The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.
• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath
Watch this on YouTube!

https://youtu.be/SQKD_D7jglY

Join the Reflective Parent Club for weekly coaching calls and support in developing emotion regulation skills. Visit curiousneuron.com for articles, resources, and a free 7-day trial of the club.
Search for a past podcast episode or guest:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Want to join The Reflective Parent Club?

If you are ready to learn healthy emotional coping skills and to get support on. how to teach your child these skills, join below or book a call with me below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Book a call with me:
https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/intro-chat-for-1-1-coaching

FREE WORKBOOK: Why do I feel triggered by my child's emotions and behaviours?

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/f9fd208c09

FREE ACTIVITY FOR KIDS: Help! My emotions are confusing to me!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/c6701d059a

Please leave a rating for our podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Email me at [email protected] and I will send you our most popular guide called Meltdown Mountain.

Join me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/curious_neuron/
Join our Facebook group called Reflective Parenting:
...

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Welcome to Reflective Parenting (00:00:00)

2. Understanding the Reflective Parent Club (00:04:32)

3. The Key Mistake in Discipline (00:09:51)

4. Teaching Children to Handle Disappointment (00:14:34)

5. Co-Regulation Instead of Escalation (00:19:18)

6. Building Skills Through Scaffolding (00:24:33)

222 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 475604838 series 2898713
Content provided by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Send us a text

The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.
• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath
Watch this on YouTube!

https://youtu.be/SQKD_D7jglY

Join the Reflective Parent Club for weekly coaching calls and support in developing emotion regulation skills. Visit curiousneuron.com for articles, resources, and a free 7-day trial of the club.
Search for a past podcast episode or guest:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Want to join The Reflective Parent Club?

If you are ready to learn healthy emotional coping skills and to get support on. how to teach your child these skills, join below or book a call with me below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Book a call with me:
https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/intro-chat-for-1-1-coaching

FREE WORKBOOK: Why do I feel triggered by my child's emotions and behaviours?

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/f9fd208c09

FREE ACTIVITY FOR KIDS: Help! My emotions are confusing to me!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/c6701d059a

Please leave a rating for our podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Email me at [email protected] and I will send you our most popular guide called Meltdown Mountain.

Join me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/curious_neuron/
Join our Facebook group called Reflective Parenting:
...

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Welcome to Reflective Parenting (00:00:00)

2. Understanding the Reflective Parent Club (00:04:32)

3. The Key Mistake in Discipline (00:09:51)

4. Teaching Children to Handle Disappointment (00:14:34)

5. Co-Regulation Instead of Escalation (00:19:18)

6. Building Skills Through Scaffolding (00:24:33)

222 episodes

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