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Stress Series - 07 - Relationship Stress Dynamics: For Couples & Teams
Manage episode 520624053 series 3353550
In this episode, Dr. Ali Novitsky, triple-boarded physician, Master Coach, and founder of The FIT Collective, continues her deep exploration of stress — this time focusing on how different stress types influence relationships, team dynamics, and emotional regulation.
Dr. Ali revisits the origins of her company, MindBodyMarriage, as she lays the groundwork for a series on how stress types interact in pairs, families, and professional teams.
Key Points Discussed:
1. Why Stress Types Matter in Relationships
Dr. Ali explains that interactions between stress types can be complex and deeply influential. By understanding:
What each type does when stressed, and
What each type contributes when regulated,
We can accurately predict team behavior, decrease conflict, and strengthen relationships. This awareness becomes essential when multiple people—and multiple stress types—interact at once
2. A Review of The Six Stress Types:
Assertive – Stressed: takes over; Regulated: decisive leader.
Isolation – Stressed: avoids vulnerability; Regulated: productive, independent.
Control – Stressed: rigid, inflexible; Regulated: organized, structured.
Validation – Stressed: seeks reassurance; Regulated: creates harmony.
Impulsivity – Stressed: reacts quickly; Regulated: creative, executes well.
Catastrophizing – Stressed: fears worst-case; Regulated: strong problem-solver.
3. Real-Life Application: Team Dynamics
Dr. Ali illustrates a medical code scenario with two possible outcomes:
Dysregulated Team
Assertive type takes over abruptly
Isolation type withdraws
Control type panics over broken expectations
Validation type doubts themselves
Impulsive type fires off ideas without follow-through
Catastrophizing type spirals into worst-case thinking
The team technically achieves the outcome—but experiences burnout, fear, and dysfunction.
Regulated Team
Assertive type leads with clarity
Isolation type stays focused and productive
Control type keeps structure
Validation type creates calm
Impulsive type supports with creativity
Catastrophizing type anticipates needs and supports problem solving
Same patient outcome—entirely different team experience.
Dr. Ali emphasizes that true success includes psychological safety, teamwork, and emotional regulation.
3. The “Leaky Valve” Analogy
Dr. Ali introduces the concept of a leaky emotional valve:
When we are chronically dysregulated, stress “leaks” into every system in our lives—relationships, work, communication, and health. Regulation closes the valve, making all downstream healing easier.
Takeaways
Understanding your stress type increases self-awareness and compassion.
Daily regulation practice—not occasional effort—is necessary for real change.
Healthy teams are built on regulation, not perfection.
You can always choose to become the “regulated member” of your team.
Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction & why this series matters
00:27 – MindBody Marriage → The FIT Collective
00:38 – Stress & relationships: the “relationship matrix”
02:03 – Different stress scenarios in relationships and teams
02:24 – Overview of the 6 stress types
05:06 – Assertive stress type
06:11 – Isolation stress type
07:09 – Control stress type
08:51 – Impulsivity stress type
10:06 – Catastrophizing stress type
11:22 – Validation stress type
12:22 – Dysregulated team code scenario
18:29 – Regulated team code scenario
26:01 – How do we measure team success?
27:29 – Why whole-team training and daily regulation matter
28:43 – Transform 10 & the leaky valve
29:26 – Private coaching with The FIT Collective
Work with Dr. Ali
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