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How to have emotionally intelligent arguments with your partner

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Manage episode 473021137 series 2898713
Content provided by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Send us a text

Ever caught yourself rattling off an endless list of reminders to your partner before they take the kids somewhere? "Don't forget snacks, water bottles, jackets..." Sound familiar? In this illuminating episode, I share a personal revelation that transformed my understanding of parenting partnerships.
The awakening came when my mother called with a simple request—take my grandmother to her hair appointment—but followed with an exhaustive list of instructions. As frustration mounted within me ("Does she think I'm incompetent?"), I suddenly recognized this same pattern in my own behavior toward my husband. This moment of clarity prompted an immediate apology and deeper reflection on how our well-intentioned reminders can actually undermine our partners.
The episode explores practical approaches to healthier communication: setting clear goals before difficult conversations, being mindful about how we begin discussions (as this predicts how they'll end), and creating safe spaces for honest dialogue. By shifting from "do this, don't forget that" to "do you have any questions?" we honor our partners' competence while still addressing needs.
This isn't just about smoother partnerships—it's about modelling healthy relationship skills for our children. When they witness parents communicating with respect and allowing space for mistakes and learning, they absorb these patterns for their own relationships.
Search for a past podcast episode or guest:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Want to join The Reflective Parent Club?

If you are ready to learn healthy emotional coping skills and to get support on. how to teach your child these skills, join below or book a call with me below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Book a call with me:
https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/intro-chat-for-1-1-coaching

FREE WORKBOOK: Why do I feel triggered by my child's emotions and behaviours?

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/f9fd208c09

FREE ACTIVITY FOR KIDS: Help! My emotions are confusing to me!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/c6701d059a

Please leave a rating for our podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Email me at [email protected] and I will send you our most popular guide called Meltdown Mountain.

Join me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/curious_neuron/
Join our Facebook group called Reflective Parenting:
...

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Welcome to Reflective Parenting (00:00:00)

2. Sharing Science, Not Parenting Rules (00:03:36)

3. The Grandmother's Haircut Revelation (00:13:17)

4. Giving Partners Space to Make Mistakes (00:21:13)

5. The Temperature of Conflict: Red, Warm, Cold (00:33:00)

6. Setting Goals for Better Conversations (00:45:27)

222 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 473021137 series 2898713
Content provided by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. and Cindy Hovington or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Send us a text

Ever caught yourself rattling off an endless list of reminders to your partner before they take the kids somewhere? "Don't forget snacks, water bottles, jackets..." Sound familiar? In this illuminating episode, I share a personal revelation that transformed my understanding of parenting partnerships.
The awakening came when my mother called with a simple request—take my grandmother to her hair appointment—but followed with an exhaustive list of instructions. As frustration mounted within me ("Does she think I'm incompetent?"), I suddenly recognized this same pattern in my own behavior toward my husband. This moment of clarity prompted an immediate apology and deeper reflection on how our well-intentioned reminders can actually undermine our partners.
The episode explores practical approaches to healthier communication: setting clear goals before difficult conversations, being mindful about how we begin discussions (as this predicts how they'll end), and creating safe spaces for honest dialogue. By shifting from "do this, don't forget that" to "do you have any questions?" we honor our partners' competence while still addressing needs.
This isn't just about smoother partnerships—it's about modelling healthy relationship skills for our children. When they witness parents communicating with respect and allowing space for mistakes and learning, they absorb these patterns for their own relationships.
Search for a past podcast episode or guest:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Want to join The Reflective Parent Club?

If you are ready to learn healthy emotional coping skills and to get support on. how to teach your child these skills, join below or book a call with me below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Book a call with me:
https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/intro-chat-for-1-1-coaching

FREE WORKBOOK: Why do I feel triggered by my child's emotions and behaviours?

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/f9fd208c09

FREE ACTIVITY FOR KIDS: Help! My emotions are confusing to me!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/c6701d059a

Please leave a rating for our podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Email me at [email protected] and I will send you our most popular guide called Meltdown Mountain.

Join me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/curious_neuron/
Join our Facebook group called Reflective Parenting:
...

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Welcome to Reflective Parenting (00:00:00)

2. Sharing Science, Not Parenting Rules (00:03:36)

3. The Grandmother's Haircut Revelation (00:13:17)

4. Giving Partners Space to Make Mistakes (00:21:13)

5. The Temperature of Conflict: Red, Warm, Cold (00:33:00)

6. Setting Goals for Better Conversations (00:45:27)

222 episodes

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