The Let Them Theory: You Won't Change Them

Mindfully Masculine: Personal Growth and Mental Health for Men

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2M ago 39:19

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In this episode of Mindfully Masculine, Charles and Dan unpack Chapters 14 and 15 of The Let Them Theory—and the uncomfortable truth that you can’t force anyone to change.

We dive into why pressure backfires, why rescuing keeps people stuck, and how the most powerful form of influence comes from backing off. From partners and kids to friends and coworkers, if you’ve ever tried to “fix” someone, this one will sting a little.

Highlights include:

The real reason people only change when they’re ready
How rescuing prevents rock-bottom moments that spark growth
Why the urge to fix others says more about you than them
The ABC Loop: Apologize, Back Off, Celebrate
Deciding if it’s time to accept… or walk away

If you’re tired of banging your head against the wall trying to “save” someone, listen in. This conversation might be the reset you didn’t know you needed.

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Chapters

1. Introduction to Let Them Theory (00:00:00)

2. Coffee Talk and Personal Changes (00:06:30)

3. Why People Only Change When Ready (00:14:50)

4. Pain as a Motivator for Change (00:20:50)

5. ABC of Influence and Support (00:28:57)

6. Apologizing and Backing Off (00:36:13)

7. Closing Thoughts on Boundaries (00:38:59)

206 episodes

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