FEEL FREE TO LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST IN ANY ORDER! Order up! We're here to serve up a refreshing glass of The Halo-Halo Show with a scoop of the scoop - Trending topics all around the world. A dash of lighthearted fun, a splash of silly insights, and a spoonful of laughter! Topped with our answers to the burning questions you've sent over to our Leche Flan mail! Hosted by Radio DJ's/Hosts/All-Around Weirdos Rica Garcia and JC Tevez - Bringing you a wonderful mix (*wink wink*) of a good time! ...
…
continue reading
Content provided by Dr Gemma Gladstone. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Dr Gemma Gladstone or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.
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122. The Catch-22 of Attraction: Why We Want Love but End Up with Distance
Manage episode 505279631 series 2947834
Content provided by Dr Gemma Gladstone. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Dr Gemma Gladstone or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.
When your heart wants closeness but your “old map” keeps pulling you toward distance, you’re stuck in the Catch-22 of attraction. In this episode, Gemma explains how early schemas quietly shape who you’re drawn to, why “chemistry” so often points you toward the familiar (not the healthy), and what it takes to consciously rewrite your Love Template so you can choose emotionally available partners.
In this episode, you’ll learn
- What a schema is (quick primer) and why it’s more useful than attachment boxes
- How the Abandonment schema fuels anxious preoccupation, magical thinking, and self-fulfilling patterns
- Why Emotional Deprivation normalises giving a lot while rarely feeling seen or nurtured
- How Defectiveness/Shame covertly lowers your standards and tolerates poor treatment
- The role of Subjugation and Self-Sacrifice in silencing yourself early, then staying too long
- Why attraction isn’t random and how your Love Template (old map) picks partners for you on autopilot
- The Healthy Adult shift: moving from familiar chemistry to choosing steady, emotionally available partners
Key takeaways
- Attraction pulls toward what’s familiar, not necessarily what’s good.
- “I’ll just go with the flow” keeps you on autopilot; intentional dating rewrites the outcome.
- Knowledge is power BUT applied knowledge (with guidance) is transformation.
- Your patterns in romance often ripple into career, friendships, and self-worth, change one, and others shift.
Try this this week
- Name your top 1–2 schemas you hear in this episode.
- Write one “Healthy Adult” decision you’ll make before your next date (e.g., “If communication is inconsistent in the first 2 weeks, I’ll opt out kindly and early”).
- List 3 signals of emotional availability you’ll move toward (e.g., follow-through, steady pace, repair after missteps).
Resources & next steps
- JOIN Love Wisely - NOW OPEN Enrollment closes 17th Sept ▶︎ Learn more
🎁 Free Guide: Dating With Insight 👉 Download your free guide here
✨ Connect with Me
📷 Instagram: @drgemmagladstone
📧 Email: [email protected]
🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
🩷 Love Wisely Join the priority list for next group in 2026!
🌻 Support the Podcast
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here
🚩 The Red Flag Project
Get instant access to the online course: Access now
135 episodes
Share
Manage episode 505279631 series 2947834
Content provided by Dr Gemma Gladstone. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Dr Gemma Gladstone or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.
When your heart wants closeness but your “old map” keeps pulling you toward distance, you’re stuck in the Catch-22 of attraction. In this episode, Gemma explains how early schemas quietly shape who you’re drawn to, why “chemistry” so often points you toward the familiar (not the healthy), and what it takes to consciously rewrite your Love Template so you can choose emotionally available partners.
In this episode, you’ll learn
- What a schema is (quick primer) and why it’s more useful than attachment boxes
- How the Abandonment schema fuels anxious preoccupation, magical thinking, and self-fulfilling patterns
- Why Emotional Deprivation normalises giving a lot while rarely feeling seen or nurtured
- How Defectiveness/Shame covertly lowers your standards and tolerates poor treatment
- The role of Subjugation and Self-Sacrifice in silencing yourself early, then staying too long
- Why attraction isn’t random and how your Love Template (old map) picks partners for you on autopilot
- The Healthy Adult shift: moving from familiar chemistry to choosing steady, emotionally available partners
Key takeaways
- Attraction pulls toward what’s familiar, not necessarily what’s good.
- “I’ll just go with the flow” keeps you on autopilot; intentional dating rewrites the outcome.
- Knowledge is power BUT applied knowledge (with guidance) is transformation.
- Your patterns in romance often ripple into career, friendships, and self-worth, change one, and others shift.
Try this this week
- Name your top 1–2 schemas you hear in this episode.
- Write one “Healthy Adult” decision you’ll make before your next date (e.g., “If communication is inconsistent in the first 2 weeks, I’ll opt out kindly and early”).
- List 3 signals of emotional availability you’ll move toward (e.g., follow-through, steady pace, repair after missteps).
Resources & next steps
- JOIN Love Wisely - NOW OPEN Enrollment closes 17th Sept ▶︎ Learn more
🎁 Free Guide: Dating With Insight 👉 Download your free guide here
✨ Connect with Me
📷 Instagram: @drgemmagladstone
📧 Email: [email protected]
🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
🩷 Love Wisely Join the priority list for next group in 2026!
🌻 Support the Podcast
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here
🚩 The Red Flag Project
Get instant access to the online course: Access now
135 episodes
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Similar to Healing For Love
FEEL FREE TO LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST IN ANY ORDER! Order up! We're here to serve up a refreshing glass of The Halo-Halo Show with a scoop of the scoop - Trending topics all around the world. A dash of lighthearted fun, a splash of silly insights, and a spoonful of laughter! Topped with our answers to the burning questions you've sent over to our Leche Flan mail! Hosted by Radio DJ's/Hosts/All-Around Weirdos Rica Garcia and JC Tevez - Bringing you a wonderful mix (*wink wink*) of a good time! ...
…
continue reading
Timeless Practical Wisdom For Living a Meaningful Life Inspiring stories and practical advice from creatives, entrepreneurs, change-makers, misfits, and rebels to help you become successful on your own terms Our listeners say, “If TEDTalks met Oprah you’d have the Unmistakable Creative.” Eliminate the feeling of being stuck in your life, blocked in your creativity, and discover higher levels of meaning and purpose in your life and career. Listen to deeply personal, insightful, and thought-pr ...
…
continue reading
Kwentuhan Sessions is a podcast by a Filipino-Chinese couple who’ve been together for over 25 years, sharing honest conversations about love, life, politics, food, and everything in between. Join us every week as we dive into the real stuff—from relationship dilemmas and Filipino culture to current events and random musings over coffee. Whether it’s funny, deep, or a little bit of both, our kwentuhan is always unfiltered and real. 🎙️ New episodes every week 📩 Connect with us on IG/Threads @k ...
…
continue reading
Travel, at its best, changes the way we see the world. Join us each week as we dig into stories from people who took a trip—and came home transformed. Travel Tales by Afar is your ticket to the world, no passport required.
…
continue reading
Join two of the stars from Real Housewives of Potomac, Gizelle Bryant and Robyn Dixon, as they team up for their new podcast Reasonably Shady. The show features conversations about being fearless women as they recount stories from their exciting lives. Topics include dating, relationships, marriage, entrepreneurs, motherhood, style, glam, current events and more! Join Gizelle and Robyn for Reasonably Shady!
…
continue reading
Awaken, discover and connect to the deeper meaning of the world around you with Oprah's Super Soul. Hear Oprah’s personal selection of her interviews with thought-leaders, best-selling authors, spiritual luminaries, as well as health and wellness experts. All designed to light you up, guide you through life’s big questions and help bring you one step closer to your best self.
…
continue reading
David Edmonds (Uehiro Centre, Oxford University) and Nigel Warburton (freelance philosopher/writer) interview top philosophers on a wide range of topics. Two books based on the series have been published by Oxford University Press. We are currently self-funding - donations very welcome via our website http://www.philosophybites.com
…
continue reading
As She Rises brings together local poets and activists from throughout North America to depict the effects of climate change on their home and their people. Each episode carries the listener to a new place through a collection of voices, local recordings and soundscapes. Stories span from the Louisiana Bayou, to the tundras of Alaska to the drying bed of the Colorado River. Centering the voices of native women and women of color, As She Rises personalizes the elusive magnitude of climate cha ...
…
continue reading
Love stories from listeners of Barangay LSFM are featured in this weekly radio program. Listen in as Papa Dudut reads the letter of a "kabarangay" who shares his/her heartfelt experience. A dramatization brings the audience closer to feeling the joy, the pain, the ups and downs of being in love--something that each one of us can relate to.
…
continue reading
As seen in The New York Times, on NPR, and the TODAY Show, Man of the Year is the #1 friendship podcast in the country! Comedians and friendship experts Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo will help you make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and build lifelong social fitness. Each November they award a gigantic Man of the Year trophy to one of their childhood friends – a tradition that has kept their crew going strong since the '80s. But the country is facing a friendship recession – 15% of men r ...
…
continue reading
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Go offline with the Player FM app!
Go offline with the Player FM app!
