Are you tired of reacting the same way to certain people or situations, even when you know it's not helping?

In this conversation, Ben and Mitra explore shadow work: turning toward the parts of ourselves we'd rather avoid. Ben shares his struggles with irrational reactions, while Mitra offers a three-step framework for working with activated patterns. Discover why your most difficult reactions exist for a reason, how lingering discomfort after interactions is actually useful information, and what to do when old fears try to run the show.

What You’ll Learn:

• The pattern recognition test: The simple question that reveals whether a trigger points to shadow work—and why being the "common denominator" is good news.
• The translator within: How your mind turns everything into a fight, stays neutral, or creates clarity—and how to choose which voice speaks in challenging moments.
• When to pause: Why timing matters more than technique, and the difference between analyzing while drowning versus waiting until you're dry.

If you’re someone who ….

• keeps having the same frustrating reactions with different people and wonders why the pattern repeats
• wants to do inner work but feels overwhelmed about where to start or what it might open up
• knows you're overreacting to certain situations but can't seem to stop yourself in the moment

…then you’ll want to be sure to listen in on this episode. Enjoy!

Chapters:

00:00 : Introduction to Shadow Work

01:15 : Defining the Shadow

03:57 : Four Key Mindsets for Inner Work

08:48 : The Three-Step Shadow Work Process

13:15 : Hearing the Bell: Recognizing When Shadow Is Active

20:14 : The Cost of Avoidance

24:41 : Working Through Activation and Overwhelm

31:47 : The Translator: Choosing Your Response

42:09 : Knowing When to Pause

46:43 : Finding the Right Help

Links :

Episode 41 on Shame:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkHPU_6ZGm0

https://theinnerview.live/episodes/ep41

Learn more about Mitra’s self-coaching program: https://mitramanesh.com/

Social Media:

@mitramanesh_ (https://instagram.com/mitramanesh_)

@bendadbin (https://instagram.com/bendadbin)

@theinnerview.live (https://bit.ly/4f61J0Q)

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Keywords :

Ben Dadbin, Mitra Manesh