In law, no one hands you a guide to the hidden curriculum, but every lawyer absorbs it. Rules about hours, availability, mistakes, and even what “professional” looks like. This episode unpacks how those unspoken rules distort women lawyers’ sense of worth, loyalty, and belonging, and why it is time to rewrite them.

This is part two of a two-part series. In Episode 17, we explored the badges of honor in law. In Episode 18, we go deeper into the hidden curriculum.

From day one, the legal profession trains lawyers to measure themselves by invisible standards: billable hours, 24/7 responsiveness, perfection at all costs. These are not written anywhere, but they quietly dictate whether you feel like you belong. And for women, especially women of color, LGBTQ+, first-gen, and others holding more than one marginalized identity, the stakes can feel even higher.

But here’s the truth: these rules were never neutral. They were not truths at all. They were training. And because they were taught, they can be questioned and unlearned.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The five unwritten rules most lawyers internalize (and how they fuel burnout).
• How these rules distort lawyers’ beliefs about worth, loyalty, mistakes, and professionalism.
• Why women lawyers, in particular, face a tighter bind, and how intersectional identities intensify the pressure.
• The real fear underlying all of these rules: rejection and loss of belonging.
• Easy experiments you can try this week to step outside the hidden curriculum and reclaim energy, presence, and self-trust.

🌱 Key takeaway: You’re not weak or broken for following these rules. They kept you safe and helped you belong. But they never determined your worth. Every time you reclaim an hour, set down your phone, or let yourself feel, it is proof you can choose differently.

Want more support?

• Try the Free, Anonymous Lawyer's Stress Check-In: Pinpoint which stress zone you’re in and get a personalized next step to start feeling better (without making drastic changes to your life). www.heathermillscoaching.com/AIAssistant
• Book a free 20-minute call: Talk through the internal and external stressors and get support on your next right step.
  https://calendly.com/heather-mills-coaching/breakthrough
• Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn: Get weekly tips, mindset shifts, and behind-the-scenes support for your burnout recovery

Full Show Notes, Episode Transcript, Plus More Resources for Women in Law:
018 The Hidden Curriculum of Law: How We Were Trained to Ignore Ourselves
https://www.heathermillscoaching.com/blog/018-hidden-curriculum-of-law

Related Podcast Episodes:
017 Why Exhaustion Became a Badge of Honor in Law
https://www.heathermillscoaching.com/blog/017-exhaustion-as-a badge-of-honor-in-law