That seemingly innocent phrase—"it is what it is"—might be the most dangerous thing you say all day. Far from being a sign of mature acceptance, those five words often mark the moment we stop advocating for ourselves and start adjusting to what drains us.
Listen closely to what happens in your body when you say it: shoulders drop not in relief but surrender, breath shallows, tone flattens, eyes lower. Your nervous system literally checks out. We've normalized this phrase in our relationships, careers, health journeys, and self-perception, using it as an exit ramp from confronting difficult truths. But what if this verbal shrug isn't peaceful acceptance but the beginning of emotional detachment?
The real question isn't whether things are what they are—it's whether they should stay that way. Your weight, habits, mindset, voice—none of these are fixed realities unless you declare them to be. Next-level thinking requires growth and solution-finding, not settling for clichés. Try replacing "it is what it is" with something truer: "I haven't made peace with this yet" or "This isn't it, but I'm working on what is." These alternatives acknowledge both your current reality and your desire for something different.
This episode challenges you to track when you use this phrase, notice what you're really feeling, and practice saying one truer thing instead. Because reclaiming your life doesn't always start with a big move—sometimes it starts with telling yourself the truth. You're not stuck; you're working on it. And that distinction makes all the difference.