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Magnetizing Love: Lessons from my New Relationship
Manage episode 496246158 series 2860099
What if the thing that’s actually keeping love out is your need for perfection? Not the lack of healing. Not the wrong timing. Not your history. But the subtle belief that you must show up flawless to be worthy of love.
This came up for me in a recent moment that cracked me open — and I’m sharing it, fully, in this week’s podcast.
After two years of deep healing post-divorce, I met someone new. Someone wonderful. Someone real.
And in his presence, I’ve met both the most surrendered version of myself… …and the most activated.
One afternoon, we were in the car together. I answered a tense co-parenting call. When I hung up, I asked for his thoughts.
He said — with deep care — “It sounded like you were placating.”
I wanted to crawl out of my skin.
Because placating was an old pattern. One I’ve worked hard to heal. And in that moment, the shame that rose up wasn’t just about him witnessing me. It was the belief that if I wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t be lovable.
That I needed to earn love by being above my patterns — not inside them.
And yet…
That vulnerable girl part of me — the one who used to believe love was conditional — was met with tenderness. Not rejection.
He reminded me: “I admire your strength. But what draws me most is your softness.”
This week’s episode is a story about that moment — but more than that, it’s about the old paradigms we still carry. The ones that say love must be performed for.
This moment reminded me of a truth I return to again and again: Healing happens in layers. Magnetism is born in our willingness to be fully seen. Self-love deepens when we soften into our humanness, not away from it.
So if you’ve been holding onto the idea that love requires perfection — that you need to finish your healing before receiving the love you want — I offer this story as a mirror.
You get to be both powerful and tender. You get to show up with patterns — and still be deeply worthy of love.
101 episodes
Manage episode 496246158 series 2860099
What if the thing that’s actually keeping love out is your need for perfection? Not the lack of healing. Not the wrong timing. Not your history. But the subtle belief that you must show up flawless to be worthy of love.
This came up for me in a recent moment that cracked me open — and I’m sharing it, fully, in this week’s podcast.
After two years of deep healing post-divorce, I met someone new. Someone wonderful. Someone real.
And in his presence, I’ve met both the most surrendered version of myself… …and the most activated.
One afternoon, we were in the car together. I answered a tense co-parenting call. When I hung up, I asked for his thoughts.
He said — with deep care — “It sounded like you were placating.”
I wanted to crawl out of my skin.
Because placating was an old pattern. One I’ve worked hard to heal. And in that moment, the shame that rose up wasn’t just about him witnessing me. It was the belief that if I wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t be lovable.
That I needed to earn love by being above my patterns — not inside them.
And yet…
That vulnerable girl part of me — the one who used to believe love was conditional — was met with tenderness. Not rejection.
He reminded me: “I admire your strength. But what draws me most is your softness.”
This week’s episode is a story about that moment — but more than that, it’s about the old paradigms we still carry. The ones that say love must be performed for.
This moment reminded me of a truth I return to again and again: Healing happens in layers. Magnetism is born in our willingness to be fully seen. Self-love deepens when we soften into our humanness, not away from it.
So if you’ve been holding onto the idea that love requires perfection — that you need to finish your healing before receiving the love you want — I offer this story as a mirror.
You get to be both powerful and tender. You get to show up with patterns — and still be deeply worthy of love.
101 episodes
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