Always the one holding it all? Over-responsibility can look like leadership—but it’s often a signal of misalignment. Discover how to lead from trust, not control, and reclaim clarity without dropping what matters most.

You’re carrying the meeting, the household, the decision-making, the mood of the room — and you’ve convinced yourself that’s just what good leaders do.

But what if that weight you’re carrying isn’t leadership — it’s misalignment?

In today’s episode, we’re exposing the hidden cost of over-responsibility.
High-capacity humans like you don’t carry too much because they can’t delegate — they carry too much because they’ve built an identity around holding it all together. And the nervous system follows.

Julie Holly shares a personal story of trying to control not just her schedule, but the emotions and energy of those around her. That kind of control doesn’t come from ego — it comes from a nervous system wired for safety and an identity wired for performance.

But there’s another way: one that doesn’t demand silent depletion, but leads from alignment, trust, and clarity.

In this episode, you’ll explore:

• Why over-functioning often feels like the only safe option
• The internal roles we adopt that fuse responsibility with self-worth
• Nervous system symptoms that signal you’re carrying too much
• A clear path back to leadership that doesn’t cost your peace

You’ll also hear a story about Jocko Willink, and how true extreme ownership isn’t doing it all — it’s knowing what to release so your team can rise. (Julie will link a few of his books in the show notes.)

Today’s Micro Recalibration

Ask yourself: “What am I carrying right now that no one asked me to hold?”
Then: “What would it look like to lead with trust instead of control in that area?”

Team Extension:
Invite your team to finish this sentence:

“One thing I could release if I trusted the process more is…”

If you're tired of holding everything together, this episode will remind you:
You weren’t meant to carry it all. You were meant to lead from identity.

RESOURCES:

Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink

Leadership Strategy and Tactics by Jocko Willink

If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.

Explore Identity-Level Recalibration
→ Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights

→ Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you

→ Download the Misalignment Audit

→ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter

→ Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort

This isn’t therapy. This isn’t coaching. This is identity recalibration — and it changes everything.