#95 Why Saying No Still Feels Wrong — Even When It’s Right
Manage episode 499861135 series 3660976
You know boundaries matter — so why does saying no still feel like betrayal? This episode exposes the deeper identity-level misalignment and shows you how to create boundaries that don’t just work… but feel like you.
You know the script: You say yes, even when you're stretched thin. You keep the peace, carry the load, and tell yourself, “This is just what it takes.”
But beneath that over-functioning is a quieter truth:
Saying no still feels wrong — not because you're weak, but because your identity is wired for performance and approval.
In this episode of the Identity-Level Recalibration podcast, Julie Holly shares a deeply personal reflection on the tangled guilt behind boundary-setting — and why sustainable boundaries require an identity shift, not a time hack.
You’ll explore:
- The real reason saying no triggers guilt, obligation, and confusion
- Why high performers override their own needs, even with the best boundary scripts
- A powerful reframe that moves you from resentment to rhythm
- How your yes might be protecting a role that’s quietly eroding your alignment
You’ll also hear a faith-rooted story about The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst — and how one friend’s timely suggestion led Julie to rewire her understanding of identity, boundaries, and divine alignment.
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Today’s Micro Recalibration:
Ask yourself:
“Where in my life have I been saying yes out of fear or obligation, not alignment?”
Then ask:
“What would a boundary rooted in self-trust look like in that space?”
For leaders:
“Where have we been absorbing friction instead of setting clear expectations?”
You weren’t meant to burn out to be trusted.
Sustainable boundaries don’t come from behavior tweaks — they come from identity recalibration.
RESOURCES:
BOOK: The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst
If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.
Explore Identity-Level Recalibration
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This isn’t therapy. This isn’t coaching. This is identity recalibration — and it changes everything.
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