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#95 Why Saying No Still Feels Wrong — Even When It’s Right

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Manage episode 499861135 series 3660976
Content provided by Julie Holly. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Julie Holly or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

You know boundaries matter — so why does saying no still feel like betrayal? This episode exposes the deeper identity-level misalignment and shows you how to create boundaries that don’t just work… but feel like you.

You know the script: You say yes, even when you're stretched thin. You keep the peace, carry the load, and tell yourself, “This is just what it takes.”

But beneath that over-functioning is a quieter truth:
Saying no still feels wrong — not because you're weak, but because your identity is wired for performance and approval.

In this episode of the Identity-Level Recalibration podcast, Julie Holly shares a deeply personal reflection on the tangled guilt behind boundary-setting — and why sustainable boundaries require an identity shift, not a time hack.

You’ll explore:

  • The real reason saying no triggers guilt, obligation, and confusion
  • Why high performers override their own needs, even with the best boundary scripts
  • A powerful reframe that moves you from resentment to rhythm
  • How your yes might be protecting a role that’s quietly eroding your alignment

You’ll also hear a faith-rooted story about The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst — and how one friend’s timely suggestion led Julie to rewire her understanding of identity, boundaries, and divine alignment.

Today’s Micro Recalibration:

Ask yourself:

“Where in my life have I been saying yes out of fear or obligation, not alignment?”
Then ask:
“What would a boundary rooted in self-trust look like in that space?”

For leaders:

“Where have we been absorbing friction instead of setting clear expectations?”

You weren’t meant to burn out to be trusted.
Sustainable boundaries don’t come from behavior tweaks — they come from identity recalibration.

RESOURCES:

BOOK: The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst

If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.

Explore Identity-Level Recalibration
Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights

Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you

Download the Misalignment Audit

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter

Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort

This isn’t therapy. This isn’t coaching. This is identity recalibration — and it changes everything.

  continue reading

99 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 499861135 series 3660976
Content provided by Julie Holly. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Julie Holly or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

You know boundaries matter — so why does saying no still feel like betrayal? This episode exposes the deeper identity-level misalignment and shows you how to create boundaries that don’t just work… but feel like you.

You know the script: You say yes, even when you're stretched thin. You keep the peace, carry the load, and tell yourself, “This is just what it takes.”

But beneath that over-functioning is a quieter truth:
Saying no still feels wrong — not because you're weak, but because your identity is wired for performance and approval.

In this episode of the Identity-Level Recalibration podcast, Julie Holly shares a deeply personal reflection on the tangled guilt behind boundary-setting — and why sustainable boundaries require an identity shift, not a time hack.

You’ll explore:

  • The real reason saying no triggers guilt, obligation, and confusion
  • Why high performers override their own needs, even with the best boundary scripts
  • A powerful reframe that moves you from resentment to rhythm
  • How your yes might be protecting a role that’s quietly eroding your alignment

You’ll also hear a faith-rooted story about The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst — and how one friend’s timely suggestion led Julie to rewire her understanding of identity, boundaries, and divine alignment.

Today’s Micro Recalibration:

Ask yourself:

“Where in my life have I been saying yes out of fear or obligation, not alignment?”
Then ask:
“What would a boundary rooted in self-trust look like in that space?”

For leaders:

“Where have we been absorbing friction instead of setting clear expectations?”

You weren’t meant to burn out to be trusted.
Sustainable boundaries don’t come from behavior tweaks — they come from identity recalibration.

RESOURCES:

BOOK: The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst

If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.

Explore Identity-Level Recalibration
Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights

Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you

Download the Misalignment Audit

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter

Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort

This isn’t therapy. This isn’t coaching. This is identity recalibration — and it changes everything.

  continue reading

99 episodes

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