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Trauma-Bonded No More: My Journey Through Shame, Regression & Finding My Way Back

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Manage episode 513757657 series 2984077
Content provided by Andrea Ashley. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Andrea Ashley or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Ever wonder what happens when the host of a trauma podcast finds herself right back in the trenches?

A story about what happens when healing collides with old survival patterns — and how the body can pull you back into the past, even when your mind knows better. This isn’t a “how-to.” It’s truth-telling about the gap between understanding your trauma and actually feeling safe inside your own skin.

✨ What this episode explores:

Childhood relational trauma wires us for trauma bonds — When love and pain come from the same person, the nervous system fuses attachment with fear. As adults, we mistake that familiarity for connection and call it love.

Healing from the neck up leaves the body stuck in the past — Insight can’t rewire survival responses. You can name every pattern and still have a body that flinches, freezes, or fawns like the child who first learned danger was love.

Regression isn’t failure; it’s unfinished business surfacing When old patterns return, it doesn’t mean you’ve backslid. It means your system finally feels safe enough to process what once overwhelmed you. The “relapse” is readiness in disguise.

Trauma bonds aren’t about the other person, they’re about your body seeking familiarity — You don’t stay because you want pain; you stay because your nervous system confuses chaos and inconsistency with connection. It feels like home because it once was.

Managing someone else’s dysfunction can become a lifelong neural pathway — If you grew up regulating a parent, control equals safety. As an adult, your brain lights up when chaos appears — the same highway it’s been driving your whole life.

Grief is often the missing layer in recovery — You can understand and accept the past intellectually yet still carry what you never grieved. Healing deepens when the body finally mourns what it lost — safety, innocence, possibility.

— — —

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community

6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection

👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION

Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.

➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD

Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat

🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA

Instagram → @adultchildpod

TikTok → @adultchildpod

YouTube → @adultchildpod

SPONSORS

Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchild

Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD

Check out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.

Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/

Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchild


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD
* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  continue reading

414 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 513757657 series 2984077
Content provided by Andrea Ashley. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Andrea Ashley or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Ever wonder what happens when the host of a trauma podcast finds herself right back in the trenches?

A story about what happens when healing collides with old survival patterns — and how the body can pull you back into the past, even when your mind knows better. This isn’t a “how-to.” It’s truth-telling about the gap between understanding your trauma and actually feeling safe inside your own skin.

✨ What this episode explores:

Childhood relational trauma wires us for trauma bonds — When love and pain come from the same person, the nervous system fuses attachment with fear. As adults, we mistake that familiarity for connection and call it love.

Healing from the neck up leaves the body stuck in the past — Insight can’t rewire survival responses. You can name every pattern and still have a body that flinches, freezes, or fawns like the child who first learned danger was love.

Regression isn’t failure; it’s unfinished business surfacing When old patterns return, it doesn’t mean you’ve backslid. It means your system finally feels safe enough to process what once overwhelmed you. The “relapse” is readiness in disguise.

Trauma bonds aren’t about the other person, they’re about your body seeking familiarity — You don’t stay because you want pain; you stay because your nervous system confuses chaos and inconsistency with connection. It feels like home because it once was.

Managing someone else’s dysfunction can become a lifelong neural pathway — If you grew up regulating a parent, control equals safety. As an adult, your brain lights up when chaos appears — the same highway it’s been driving your whole life.

Grief is often the missing layer in recovery — You can understand and accept the past intellectually yet still carry what you never grieved. Healing deepens when the body finally mourns what it lost — safety, innocence, possibility.

— — —

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community

6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection

👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION

Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.

➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD

Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat

🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA

Instagram → @adultchildpod

TikTok → @adultchildpod

YouTube → @adultchildpod

SPONSORS

Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchild

Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD

Check out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.

Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/

Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchild


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD
* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  continue reading

414 episodes

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