Forgiveness Is Overrated—Now Acceptance? That’s Gold When You're Trying to Heal From a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents

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4M ago 18:30

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If you've ever been told that you have to forgive in order to heal, I want you to know—that’s just not true. In this episode, I’m breaking down why forgiveness is overrated, especially when it comes to parents with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder (BPD/NPD). Instead of forcing yourself to forgive, what if you focused on acceptance instead? Because that’s where the real healing happens.

In this episode, we’ll cover:
✔️ Why forgiveness is often a trap we get stuck in
✔️ The difference between acceptance and approval—you don’t have to “approve” of your parent’s behavior to accept reality
✔️ How acceptance helps you stop wasting energy trying to change someone you can't control
✔️ The truth about manipulative parental behaviors and why they keep you stuck
✔️ Why regaining autonomy over your own life is the real goal—not making peace with an abusive or toxic parent
✔️ How letting go of the pressure to forgive can actually set you free

You are not a bad person if you don’t forgive. You don’t owe your parent forgiveness—but you do owe yourself peace. Let’s talk about how to get there.

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Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you are in mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Chapters

1. Forgiveness Is Overrated—Now Acceptance? That’s Gold When You're Trying to Heal From a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder (00:00:00)

2. Autonomy and Acceptance in Healing (00:00:14)

3. Moving Forward (00:16:30)

51 episodes

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