Ep 137: Birds, Bees, and Awkward Conversations: A Parent's Guide with Sierra Dator

Things You Learn in Therapy

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14d ago 43:22

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Have you been putting off "the talk" with your child or teenager? You're not alone—and the consequences of that avoidance might be more significant than you realize. This eye-opening conversation between Dr. Beth Trammell and therapist Sierra Dator tackles the challenging but crucial topic of discussing sex, intimacy, and consent with teenagers.
The wisdom shared throughout this episode comes from a place of genuine understanding—both of adolescent development and parental hesitation. As Sierra poignantly notes, "If we're not talking to them about it, they're getting information from someone or somewhere, and probably likely on a device." This observation frames the entire conversation: parents must become trusted sources of information or risk having their teens learn from potentially problematic online content.
What makes this episode particularly valuable is its practical approach. Rather than suggesting a single "birds and bees" discussion, the experts advocate for ongoing conversations that evolve as children mature. They offer concrete strategies for initiating these discussions, including "working backward" by determining what values and information you want your teen to possess before leaving home, using media as conversation starters, and normalizing the awkwardness that often accompanies these talks.
The discussion on enthusiastic consent should be required listening for all parents of teenagers. Sierra explains the critical difference between reluctant agreement and genuine enthusiasm, noting that "if you can't talk about sex with your partner, it's probably a red flag that you're not ready." This framework gives parents language to help their teens navigate intimate relationships safely and respectfully.
Whether you're a parent feeling unsure about how to broach these topics or a clinician seeking to better support families, this episode provides the tools you need to have these essential conversations. Take the first step in becoming that askable adult your teenager needs by listening, reflecting, and then starting the conversation—even if it feels awkward at first.

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Chapters

1. Opening: Dr. Beth Introduces Sierra (00:00:00)

2. When to Start Sex Education Conversations (00:04:23)

3. Starting the Conversation: Taking a Values Approach (00:10:00)

4. Defining Sex vs. Intimacy for Teens (00:17:58)

5. Consent: What It Means and Why It Matters (00:25:00)

6. Teaching Safety and Recognizing Red Flags (00:33:16)

7. Contraception and Final Thoughts (00:40:00)

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