Episode 214 - We Keep Blaming The Stick When We Should Look For The One Holding It
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Ever catch yourself praising your “skill” after a win and blaming someone else after a loss? We’ve been there too. Today we pull back the curtain on why the nearest cause is rarely the real cause, and how that shift changes trust, gratitude, and the way we carry success and failure. Using a dog-and-stick image you won’t forget, we explore how our minds fixate on what’s in front of us and miss the hand behind it.
We walk through concrete examples—profit in business, a gift from a friend, a painful setback—to show how visible events are often just tools in a longer chain. Like a king who works through envoys, deeper causes move through intermediaries: people, timing, systems, even our own words. Sometimes we are the instrument for someone else’s breakthrough, and other times we’re the hard lesson they needed. That doesn’t excuse harm; it calls for stronger responsibility and sharper self-reflection. And when we carry joy to others, it’s a chance to practise humility and gratitude for being chosen as the channel.
Along the way we unpack a tough bias: humans feel losses twice as strongly as gains. That imbalance can lock us into loops of rumination, resentment, and shallow meaning-making. By tracing outcomes back to the ultimate cause rather than worshipping proximity, we calm the noise, restore perspective, and build trust that withstands volatility. Practically, it means thanking people fully while directing deepest gratitude to the source behind them, owning our choices without collapsing under randomness, and refusing the myth of coincidence.
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Chapters
1. Episode 214 - We Keep Blaming The Stick When We Should Look For The One Holding It (00:00:00)
2. Setting The Stage For Trust (00:00:16)
3. The Obstacle: Mistaking Immediate Causes (00:00:43)
4. Profit, Gifts, And Misplaced Credit (00:01:02)
5. The Stick And The Dog (00:02:28)
6. A World Designed To Mislead (00:03:11)
7. Chains Of Cause And The King Analogy (00:04:18)
8. Becoming A Tool For Good Or Harm (00:05:31)
9. No Coincidence And Curated Events (00:06:52)
10. Trust The Ultimate Cause (00:07:32)
11. Sensitivity To Loss Versus Gain (00:08:17)
12. Gratitude To People And To Hashem (00:09:58)
13. Closing And Listener Actions (00:10:29)
216 episodes