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Episode 30 — Overcome Your Reactivity and Melt Through Her Shell
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Imagine that you’re out and you encounter a woman you find absolutely irresistible. Your heart races a little, your cheeks flush…and then you realize that she is completely indifferent about you.
Immediately, something shifts inside you. “What? Who the hell does she think she is?!” Hurt, your ego tries to recover by mirroring indifference back onto her. You suppress your attraction, but of course it doesn’t go away. Now you’re a little obsessed with her. You turn to your usual vices to ease the pain. Eventually, you forget about her. And then one day, you meet a new woman who you find irresistible, and she’s indifferent toward you…and the cycle repeats.
One of Jordan’s coaching clients shared a personal experience like this, and in today’s episode, Jordan and Zan discuss what a healthier and more-rewarding approach looks like.
What if, instead of falling prey to the parts of you that get hurt when a woman ‘rejects’ you, you accept her indifference, laugh if off and are actually grateful for the experience?
If you stay with the feelings that her indifference evokes inside of you, you become stronger. Suddenly, you’re that much more of a man who’s unaffected by what a single woman thinks of him. You have space to meet more women, and eventually find one you have a satisfying connection with.
This is the mark of a man who has real success with women–who not only dodges the ones that aren’t right for him, but who melts through the facades of indifference in the ones that are.
Where do you fall on the spectrum from reactive, approval-seeking behaviour to calm indifference in the face of hers? How easily swayed are you from a spirit of ease and delight?
Consider these questions, and share your thoughts on today’s subject with us.
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ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.
Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a

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