Trapped in the Middle: Special-Needs Mom, Aging Parent, and Menopause All at Once with Melissa Epps
Manage episode 519490101 series 3620192
This is StRest. In this episode, Kerstin Lindquist sits down with longtime friend and QVC guest Melissa Epps to expose the real weight of the sandwich generation: raising teens and a profoundly disabled adult daughter while also managing the declining health of her mother.
Melissa’s story spans high-risk pregnancies, an ultra-rare genetic disorder, micro-preemie twins born at 27 weeks, a second surprise set of twins, her mom’s breast cancer diagnosis, and her father’s sudden death during surgery. Somewhere in the chaos, she became her mother’s full-time case manager instead of just her daughter.
Kerstin and Melissa break down the emotional toll: being the “safe” outlet for overwhelmed teens and an aging parent, the middle-of-the-night welfare checks, the resentment that builds when you handle meds, money, and crises alone, and the guilt and relief of transitioning a parent into assisted living.
Woven through it all is the midlife hormonal crash—insomnia, anxiety, mood swings—that pushes many women to the brink. Melissa explains how HRT, movement, and reconnecting with friends pulled her out of survival mode, and why isolation in this stage is dangerous.
They close with the identity crisis most caregivers face: when the kids leave and the parent is gone or in care, who are you if your entire adult life has been spent taking care of everyone else? This conversation lays out what it takes to rebuild a self that isn’t defined only by responsibility.
SPONSORS
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CHAPTERS
(00:00) Twins, NICU trauma, and special-needs motherhood
(06:30) Rare diagnosis
(11:30) Premature twins, monitors, and living in hospitals
(16:30) COVID, mom’s cancer, and dad’s sudden death in surgery
(22:30) Becoming the caregiver for your own mother
(28:30) Assisted living, guilt, and saving the relationship
(33:30) Being the safe punching bag for teens and parents
(37:30) Perimenopause, insomnia, anxiety, and HRT
(42:30) Friendship, isolation, and why women in midlife are at risk
(48:30) Boundaries, “let them,” and choosing reciprocal relationships
(53:30) QVC as lifeline and escape from chaos
(57:30) Empty nest fears, identity beyond caregiving, and chasing joy
WORK WITH KERSTIN
Workshops & Events – Join upcoming events & retreats.
Health Coaching with Kerstin – 1:1 coaching for stress & wellness.
MORE ABOUT MELISSA EPPS
IG: (@itsmelissaepps) FB: Melissa Epps
MORE ABOUT KERSTIN LINDQUIST
Website: kerstin-lindquist.com
Instagram: @kerstin.lindquist
Facebook: Kerstin Lindquist
YouTube: @Kerstin.lindquist
TikTok: @kerstin.lindquist
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78 episodes