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The focus is on getting IT done.

What is IT when IT is no longer indescribable trauma since it's easy to describe now meaning all the past memories disappear & I can sit with the adrenaline that, quite frankly, isn't there?

Sharing a philosophy that I'm on the verge of losing since I'm no longer, for the first time, living with the ptsd that's driven me my whole life & share what helped end that first round since I've been reliving it, this time with EDUCATION & LIFE EXPERIENCE & their words ("I can hear you!") as others around me share exactly what they're thinking & all one has to do is accept or reject once you get the whole picture. Then when those strategies (a) education to fulfill the mental/mind & (b) physicality to fulfill the adrenaline/body were gone, both lost in one act of violence & exposure to a school philosophy about saying one thing (inclusion, differentiation), but doing the opposite, it becomes very clear. Basic hypocrisy. Saying whatever in the moment. No core, guiding principle, boundaries for self & others. Using optics to deceive & most importantly, according to IT, "throwing whatever I know about a person so they stop asking questions," so do the opposite. Ask the question.

Let's try out this RT now. After all, this is RL. Tech in check. Neck no longer a wreck. I said it so I don't forget it. Wrote it to stay devoted. Are we ready to begin? "You bet" since we start there. Audio trigger & heard it for the last time & I know WHO that is. Always the child with severe & profound special needs and the adults around who together, led to neglect & thus abuse.

Mandated reporter/recorder of abuse & neglect. I guess I will never be able to undo what's been done. Let's end trauma for everyone, not just some who use their skills of deception, remorselessness & emotional instability & the FIRST STEP is to never [positively] reinforce the behaviors WE, as a PEOPLE, will never accept.

People trying to "date" me & why the internet has been the timestamp/date & the quantity has been immense, but press in to what the triggers are (later learned it's PET or Prolonged Exposure Therapy) & realize that's it. From the very beginning. The DATE. NO THX. EQUAL in EVERY WAY. "Let's do it differently," was what was said so let's write it today & every day until IT goes away.

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