This is THE END.
Manage episode 507206008 series 3384362
The focus is on getting IT done.
What is IT when IT is no longer indescribable trauma since it's easy to describe now meaning all the past memories disappear & I can sit with the adrenaline that, quite frankly, isn't there?
Sharing a philosophy that I'm on the verge of losing since I'm no longer, for the first time, living with the ptsd that's driven me my whole life & share what helped end that first round since I've been reliving it, this time with EDUCATION & LIFE EXPERIENCE & their words ("I can hear you!") as others around me share exactly what they're thinking & all one has to do is accept or reject once you get the whole picture. Then when those strategies (a) education to fulfill the mental/mind & (b) physicality to fulfill the adrenaline/body were gone, both lost in one act of violence & exposure to a school philosophy about saying one thing (inclusion, differentiation), but doing the opposite, it becomes very clear. Basic hypocrisy. Saying whatever in the moment. No core, guiding principle, boundaries for self & others. Using optics to deceive & most importantly, according to IT, "throwing whatever I know about a person so they stop asking questions," so do the opposite. Ask the question.
Let's try out this RT now. After all, this is RL. Tech in check. Neck no longer a wreck. I said it so I don't forget it. Wrote it to stay devoted. Are we ready to begin? "You bet" since we start there. Audio trigger & heard it for the last time & I know WHO that is. Always the child with severe & profound special needs and the adults around who together, led to neglect & thus abuse.
Mandated reporter/recorder of abuse & neglect. I guess I will never be able to undo what's been done. Let's end trauma for everyone, not just some who use their skills of deception, remorselessness & emotional instability & the FIRST STEP is to never [positively] reinforce the behaviors WE, as a PEOPLE, will never accept.
People trying to "date" me & why the internet has been the timestamp/date & the quantity has been immense, but press in to what the triggers are (later learned it's PET or Prolonged Exposure Therapy) & realize that's it. From the very beginning. The DATE. NO THX. EQUAL in EVERY WAY. "Let's do it differently," was what was said so let's write it today & every day until IT goes away.
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