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When in the moment, containing PTSD, I said just whatever. None of it matters & it's more a tool to understand the people around me since trusting the wrong person is the greatest fear since I know, I 'm super gullible, super trusting & I hold my tongue, until this experience with violence only because I learned survival for some is FREEZE, not fight, not flight, so I'm transferring FREEZE to FIGHT [with my words].

I've lived my whole life with questions, "Why didn't I fight back? why didn't I report it sooner?" and the answer was "you're made for this," which isn't true, but a societal belief and genuine fear when threats are made against s/v & their loved ones. Now, with this knowledge, there's true forgiveness.

Before assaults the only topic I had passion for & would speak about was education & my friends were teachers since the only people in the world who can talk as much about this topic are teachers. Otherwise you drive everyone else crazy. I reported it this time. To the union. To AFT. To local (alderwoman Smithe), state (Senator Duckworth) & federal (OSAH, EOCC) agencies to demand equal rights for a population already identified as "less than." Not the word I would use, but how I realized numbers is not just numerics, it's a language as well.

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