Whose Career Wins? Turn-Taking, Non-Negotiables, and the Trailing Spouse Trap
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What happens to “our” dreams when one of us becomes the trailing (or as Yvonne prefers—accompanying) spouse? In this candid conversation with Yvonne Kwa, author of Whose Career?, we unpack what dual-career life really looks like when visas, languages, relocations, and corporate policies collide. If you’ve spent years “filling space” with odd jobs or study while your partner’s career took the lead—and the resentment is starting to hum under the surface—this episode is for you.
We explore realistic career models couples can choose from: traditional single-earner (and its pitfalls), intentional turn-taking with planned recalibration points, true dual-career moves (hello, big multinationals), and split assignments that require high trust and structure. You’ll hear why “a win for one must be experienced as a win for all,” how to set no more than three shared non-negotiables, and practical ways to manage ego, identity, and those “Oh no… what have I done?” moments six months after a move. We also talk scripts for avoidant partners (ask “What do you think about this?” vs. “How do you feel?”), and how companies can support—not just with settling-in help—but real career continuity.
Listen in, then sit down together and ask: What is the life we want? Are we on track? What changes now?
Get in touch with Yvonne:
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128 episodes