316 Productivity, People-Pleasing, and ADHD: What We Need to Unlearn with Dr. Ari Tuckman

I Have ADHD Podcast

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In this episode of the I Have ADHD podcast, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Ari Tuckman to talk about one of the most layered and misunderstood topics in the ADHD world: productivity—and how it's tangled up in our relationships, our childhoods, and the expectations we carry from society.

We dove deep into how our early experiences shape the way we function (or struggle to function) as adults with ADHD. So many of us grew up feeling like we were “too much” or “not enough,” and those messages often turn into people-pleasing patterns and unrealistic productivity standards that are so hard to shake.

Ari and I explored what it really means to be productive—not based on hustle culture or external pressure—but in a way that feels aligned with our personal values, goals, and life circumstances. We also talked about how this plays out in relationships, and how important it is to communicate openly with our partners about what’s going on beneath the surface.

We touched on the emotional labor of living with ADHD, the frustration of not meeting expectations (especially our own), and the real need for self-compassion as we navigate personal growth. Because here’s the truth: being in relationship with yourself—and with others—requires space for change, grace for the messiness, and a deep understanding that we’re always evolving.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt like they’re not measuring up, who’s navigating the push-pull of productivity and self-worth, or who’s simply trying to do the best they can with the brain they have. I hope it helps you feel seen, understood, and a little less alone in the process.

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