The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice: A PM’s Guide to Building Stronger Connections and Smarter Decisions

Fireside Product Management

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Introduction

When was the last time you asked for advice? Perhaps it was about a tough career decision, a thorny product challenge, or simply seeking perspective on your day-to-day PM grind. As a product manager, you're probably no stranger to giving and receiving advice—it’s practically a job requirement. Yet, how often do we stop to think about how we approach this exchange?

In my latest video, embedded above, I dive into the nuanced art of advice-giving and advice-receiving, sharing some actionable tips from both sides of the conversation. But here on Fireside PM, we’ll take a deeper dive into this topic, exploring why advice matters, how to make the most of it, and how to ensure these exchanges elevate your career and your product.

Grab a coffee and settle in—we’ve got a lot to unpack.

Why Advice Matters

Let’s start with a story. Over the weekend, my 14-year-old son Brandon ran his first marathon. As the youngest runner in a small, local race, he had his sights set on finishing in under four hours. He came close—finishing in 4:09—but he learned a tough lesson along the way. Despite receiving advice from experienced runners not to go out too fast, race-day adrenaline took over. He pushed hard early, passing runners in shorter-distance races, and paid the price with slower splits later.

Sound familiar? Whether you’re running a marathon or navigating a product launch, many of our biggest mistakes are avoidable. Often, we’ve already been advised about the pitfalls but fail to internalize that wisdom in the heat of the moment. Why? Because advice is only as valuable as our ability to act on it.

As PMs, our careers are punctuated by moments where great advice—or the lack of it—can define outcomes. Yet, the process of giving and receiving advice isn’t always straightforward. Let’s look at how to do it better.

Receiving Advice: Five Rules to Live By

* Trust the Source The first rule of advice is simple: trust the person giving it. If you’ve sought input from someone whose expertise and judgment you respect, lean into it. This is especially true if the advice resonates in calmer moments. Unless new data emerges, resist the urge to second-guess it when pressure mounts.

* Ask the Right Questions Many people default to asking for advice in binary terms: “What should I do—Option A or Option B?” While this can yield useful guidance, a more powerful approach is to ask, “Have you faced a similar situation? What did you do, and what did you learn?” This invites broader insights, turning the conversation into a storytelling opportunity that helps you extract principles, not just prescriptions.

* Be Clear About Your Goals Before seeking advice, clarify your objectives. Are you looking for a quick tactical solution, or are you seeking perspective on a larger strategic dilemma? The more specific you are about your goals, the more tailored and actionable the advice will be.

* Reflect, Then Act Once you’ve gathered advice, don’t rush into action. Take time to reflect. Consider the context in which the advice was given and weigh it against your own knowledge and circumstances. Thoughtful implementation is what turns advice into results.

* Follow Through One of the most underrated aspects of receiving advice is follow-through. If you’ve decided to act on someone’s input, do so with intention. And if their advice helps you succeed, don’t forget to share the win with them—it’s a great way to build deeper connections.

Giving Advice: Making It Count

If receiving advice is an art, giving it is a craft. Here’s how to make your advice resonate:

1. Anchor It in Personal Experience

Advice that’s rooted in real stories carries weight. One of the most impactful pieces of advice I ever received came from a former manager at Google. During a crisis, he recounted how Eric Schmidt, Larry Page and Sergey Brin approached problem-solving with a clear framework: first, get the cow out of the ditch; second, figure out how it fell in; and third, build a fence to prevent future mishaps.

The vividness of that story made the advice memorable and actionable. When you give advice, aim to connect it to personal anecdotes that illuminate broader principles.

2. Listen First

Before diving into solutions, take time to understand the context. What’s the problem? What constraints are they facing? By listening actively, you can tailor your advice to their specific situation rather than offering one-size-fits-all solutions.

3. Provide Options, Not Dictates

Good advice empowers the recipient to make better decisions—it doesn’t make the decision for them. Present multiple paths forward, explain the trade-offs, and trust them to choose what’s best.

4. Follow Up

Giving advice isn’t a one-and-done exercise. Check in to see how things are progressing. Not only does this show you care, but it also allows you to refine your advice based on how it’s being implemented.

The Virtuous Circle of Advice in the PM Community

Here’s a truth I’ve learned over years of working in product management: giving and receiving advice is a virtuous circle. The more you invest in helping others, the more the community invests in you.

A PM you mentored might one day provide a crucial reference check for you. A colleague whose advice you followed could later champion your work. The tech industry, and particularly the PM function, thrives on these reciprocal exchanges.

One of my favorite examples of this is Tom’s List, my new project that connects PMs based on shared interests and challenges for free. Participants share advice, insights, and stories, helping each other navigate their careers. It’s been incredible to see how quickly these connections can create ripple effects of mutual support.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

* Overloading with Information When giving advice, be concise. A long-winded answer can overwhelm the recipient and obscure the core message.

* Ignoring Emotional Context Advice isn’t just about logic—it’s also about empathy. Consider the emotional state of the person you’re advising and tailor your tone accordingly.

* Focusing Too Much on Your Own Story While personal anecdotes are powerful, don’t make the advice all about you. Strike a balance between sharing your experience and focusing on their needs.

* Failure to Build Trust Without trust, even the best advice will fall flat. Build rapport by showing genuine interest and understanding.

Closing Thoughts: Advice as a Superpower

Whether you’re a seasoned PM or just starting your career, learning how to give and receive advice effectively is a superpower. It strengthens relationships, accelerates learning, and enables better decisions—not just for you but for your entire team.

As you think about your next advice-giving or advice-receiving opportunity, keep these tips in mind. And if you’re curious about how to take this to the next level, check out my video embedded below.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received as a PM? Share your stories in the comments or reply to this post—I’d love to hear from you!

(Want to connect with other PMs and exchange advice in a curated, high-quality environment? Sign up for Tom’s List today!)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit firesidepm.substack.com

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