#464 No Regrets - Just Do It -Here's How Anxiety To Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged podcast

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#464 No Regrets - Just Do It -Here's How

13h ago 28:01

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No Regrets - Just Do It -Here's How

Have you ever caught yourself holding back, waiting for the “perfect” moment, and later felt that sting of regret? The truth is, regret weighs far more heavily than failure ever could. Failure teaches you something. Regret leaves you stuck, wondering “what if?”

In this longer episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I take you deep into how to break free from hesitation, silence that self-doubt, and finally step forward with courage. This isn’t about recklessness — it’s about learning how to live boldly, make choices you’re proud of, and stop letting fear dictate your life.

You’ll discover:

Why regret is heavier than failure (and how to free yourself from it)
Simple mindset shifts to move from hesitation to momentum
The one question that reframes fear and unlocks action
A step-by-step hypnosis process to help you just do it — so you don’t just think about change, you actually experience it

This is more than a conversation — it’s an opportunity to work with your unconscious mind, shift your patterns, and take meaningful action today.

If you’ve ever said “I wish I had…” then this episode is for you. Share it with someone who needs that nudge forward, and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode packed with practical tools, mindset shifts, and powerful processes.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/464-no-regrets-just-do-it-heres-how

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So welcome back. Longer podcast, yeah? With me, Paul.

And no regrets. No regrets. Have you had regrets? I think we've all had regrets about not doing things.

Have you had this though? When you have this belief, I believe I'm not good enough. I don't belong here. I'm bloody stupid.

What else? Because I think we've all had those negative beliefs, or sometimes we call them limiting beliefs because they do bloody limit us, don't they? What other limiting, negative beliefs do you have? And if you want to really think about it, I know you do, think of things that you've wanted to do but you swerved them. You didn't take that step, you backed away. Think of one of those.

Don't do them all at once because you'll be overwhelmed. But just think of one thing that you wanted to do and you didn't do it. You swerved it, you made an excuse.

What did that feel like? And to get to that feeling, you know, remember that time just as you were making that decision. You were choosing not to do something. And see yourself there.

And just notice the voice in your head. What were you saying to yourself? You know, was it things like, ah, you're never going to make it. I shouldn't be here.

I don't belong. And that old chestnut, because I'm not, well, I'm just not good enough. Well, there's that other one I've heard a lot now.

And I think of myself sometimes. No, I'm too stupid. Can't do it.

Shouldn't be here. What did it feel like? When you hear those words inside, what does it feel like? Yeah, because it does, doesn't it? It doesn't feel good at all. When we think about it now.

And what we try to do, I guess, I know I'm talking about me, but I guess. We can try to justify it, can't we? Because, you know, who am I? Who am I to do this bloody thing? You know, who do you think you are? Go on, Cloughie, who do you think you are? You won't be good enough. You certainly don't belong there.

People will look down at you, you know, and you're going to look and feel stupid. And then you're going to get that feeling of failure and all that stuff. I'm going through one of mine now.

And we justify it, that it's the right decision. Who are you feeling? Feeling? Fooling. Fooling.

Who are you fooling? You can make all those justifications to other people, and it might seem right, but you don't fool you. I didn't fool me. I didn't fool me.

I keep getting that wrong. I didn't fool me at all. You see, it's still there.

See, I was going to go on a workshop, and it was a workshop in Dublin. I mean, I live in the UK, right down in the south of England. And this was last year.

And I really wanted to do this workshop. But I made every excuse under the sun to justify why I was going to swerve it. Oh, it's so far away.

So far away. You know, you don't know anyone there, Paul. You'll be completely on your own.

And you know you don't like being on your own. Actually, I do though, don't I? You're an introvert. Yeah, so that's another reason.

But I'm not always an introvert. Let's just think about the things I told myself. It's too different.

And it's too difficult to get there. It's such a long way away. All in the expense.

You know, I know you can afford it, Cloughie, but it's too much to spend on yourself. You know, who are you to spend this time, money on yourself? And when you get there, I know you won't be good enough. Because you know, you're going to want to be able to be really, really good.

So you won't be good enough. Therefore, I'll be a failure. And then I will look stupid.

I'll be out of my depth. And you know what, I made myself feel so fucking awful. So awful about it.

I just didn't go. But inside. But inside, there was still that little yearning, even though I justified it to myself.

I knew I wasn't fooling myself. But I did. I did feel it.

And I fooled other people. Because they thought some of my excuses were justified. And that made me feel a little bit better.

Not a lot. Because I'd fooled them. But deep inside, I hadn't really fooled myself.

So what experiences have you had like that? Because I think we've all had it somewhere, aren't we? We've all had this thing that we've yearned to do. Yet we talk ourselves out of it. And we make these wonderful, wonderful excuses.

And there was a regret. There's a feeling of regret. Of a wasted opportunity, maybe.

So what can we do? That's a bit down, wasn't it? And I was down. I was down. And I brushed it off.

But deep in the back of my mind, I just knew. I knew I hadn't done the right thing. But what could I do about that? Well, I had to think about it.

I had to think. And I thought, well, there's got to be a way. Because these things are there to not challenge us, but to excite us.

To allow us to learn. So I had to think, well, what can I do to think about it in a different way? So I just thought, well, this is just thinking. I'm not going to actually do anything.

So let's just think about it. What would be an opposite belief? That if I had it, this opposite belief, I'd have made a different decision. And it's not just changing I'm stupid to I'm absolutely awesome and things like that.

Although I am. But it's things like, I deserve it. That would be a belief that would be opposite, wouldn't it? I deserve this.

I want to think about it. I've done this type of things before. I've done things that I knew nothing about.

25, 26 years ago. Going to learn hypnosis. Going to trainers training.

I didn't know anybody there. I've learned other skills that I had no idea about. So I've done these type of things before.

Okay, they might not be every day of the week, but I've been able to learn them. What's another belief we have, or could have, that I get my words right, that's the opposite? Well, we all start at beginner's level, don't we? Because even the very best of whatever you're thinking of doing, those people started with nothing. Yeah, some people have maybe a natural affinity, but they still start with nothing, even before that.

And they worked their way up. What's another thing? Another belief I can think about? Well, people are generally kind. The things I've done where I've known nothing about it at all, people have been kind and supportive.

And they may have been the odd one. The odd one who, you know, who wasn't like that. And what would be the belief to have about them? Well, fuck them.

They're not my friend. They're not going to be my friend, because they're not that type of person who's going to support me and be kind, because I want to be kind and supportive. So I just want to attract those type of people in my life.

And when I have done, man, it's made such a difference. And what would my expectations be? What would they be for something like this, something new? What would it be? Well, if my expectation is not to be the best, not to do that, what would be the opposite? What expectations would excite me? Well, what about just go and have some fun? You've had fun before. And if your only expectation is to have fun and learn, learn something new.

Learn it from people who know what they're doing. And those other kind and supportive people, because you always find people who can do it in that group, and they will teach you. They'll bring you along.

They'll take you under your wing. And there'll be stuff that you know that you could help support them too. Even if it's only going to get them a cup of coffee.

So an expectation just to learn and have some fun doing it. You've done that before, haven't you, Cloughie? Yeah, I've done that. And what else? Well, this would create a foundation of some kind, wouldn't it? The stuff you've learned before, you've gone on to do good things.

Or it's those things have led you into different areas of learning, of expertise, of finding good stuff to do. Yeah. Now, the other thing is, I might find I don't like it.

And if I find it, I like it. Good. I don't have to think about it anymore.

Because I've tried it, which is a hell of a good thing to do. I can celebrate having tried it and find out I didn't like it. So that's cool.

But I'll have learned some skills along the way. And I know they're going to be transferable. But what would happen if I found I really did like it? And that curiosity, I found something that is maybe my passion.

Well, I didn't know about. Because 25 years ago, I didn't know anything about hypnosis at all, NLP. And it's been a passion of mine for 25 years.

And I knew fuck all about it when I first started. Nothing at all. Yeah, it's gripped me, taken me to different places in the world, met different people.

I just had a boom with it. What would it be if it was like that? Whoa. So think of your time.

Because that was me. That is literally me. That's what happened.

I started to think this way. I'll tell you what happened in a minute. But I want you to begin to think about that thing you'd like to do.

Not the thing. Oh, yeah, maybe the thing you swerved and there's an opportunity to do it again. Or there's something that you're thinking of doing.

And you got that niggling down. You know, I'm not good enough. I don't belong.

I'm stupid. I can't do all that stuff. But this time, use your imagination.

Because in our imagination, our imagineering, it doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong, because it's just in your mind. And also, by the way, all other crap is just in your mind. And that's trying to protect you from, you know, from making a fool of yourself.

But how can you make a fool of yourself when you're having fun and you're learning and you're creating a new foundation, you're finding new experiences, you're meeting new people, you might just find your passion. So just think of maybe just for the moment, let's do it together. Think of that thing you'd like to do.

And if it's okay, and make sure that no one needs your attention, because we're going to go into a sort of trancy type thing. So probably with eyes closed. Just make sure no one needs your attention.

And you can spend this time just on you. You're not driving, you're not using machinery, whatever that means. And no one needs your attention.

You've got this time to yourself. Maybe you'd make sure you'd be undisturbed just for the next few minutes, it's not going to be a long time. Because I want you to bring that thing to mind in your imagination now, and maybe just close your eyes.

And as you close your eyes, you can take a wonderful deep breath, just for the count of four. Hold it for the count of four. And then let it go nice and gently, just for the count of eight.

And as you breathe out, you can just begin to breathe normally now. Maybe making every in-breath more gentle than the one before. That's right.

Maybe wondering what it would be like to feel two times, three times more comfortable than you are right now. What would that feel like? And also, maybe just remember a time when you were so curious to find something new. And with that feeling of curiosity, bring to mind that thing you'd like to do.

That somewhere inside there's that little spark. That's right. And begin to think of the beliefs that would support you, if you were to choose to do it.

Because it's your choice. What would those beliefs be? Things like, well, I really do deserve this. Where have I done things like this before? Because we've all done this before.

Think about the times when you've learned something brand new, and you've thought, wow. Knowing that we all start off at the beginning. Even the best of us.

And as you think about that, just think about all the people who have supported you in different ways. Maybe finding now new people, new friends, new peers. That's right.

And as you think about those beliefs, and those people who will be around you, begin to think of, well, what are my expectations of doing this? And what would be a good expectation? Because it won't be to excel and be the best. Because it's new. So what would be a great expectation to have? Well, if I can just expect to have fun.

Just to have fun and learn. Learn something new. That would be a great expectation.

If you came away from that thing that you want to do, that you've learned something, and you had fun learning too. Because that would mean you're creating that foundation. Foundation for other things.

You see, even if you didn't like it. If it wasn't your thing. But you've gone through it.

It won't be wasted. Because you'll have learned some skills along the way. And if you were to get so curious of how you could use those skills in different areas of your life.

Even that confidence of actually doing the thing that in the past you were unconfident of doing. That confidence would spread into so many different areas of your life. You were learning.

That it's okay. Okay to step out of your comfort zone. To step out of your familiar zone and create something new.

A new experience. So if my expectation is just to create a new experience for myself and learn along the way. And maybe if you were so curious and wondered what would happen if this was to become my passion that I didn't know about.

But now I'm so, I would be so passionate about it. I could take it into all areas of my life and develop it in such a way. Maybe you can remember times when you've done things like that before.

And as you think about that. Just think of having fun. Learning.

Creating new experiences. Becoming more and more confident in yourself. Knowing that you deserve it.

Because you can learn. Begin to notice how you would be when it's all, well when you've finished and you're moving on with your life. Having had that experience.

Notice how you would see the world differently. The voice in your head would be so much different wouldn't it? That little seed of confidence beginning to grow. Because you've nurtured it.

You've fed it. And those beliefs of I'm not good enough. I don't belong.

I'm stupid. Would be banished wouldn't they? They wouldn't exist. You'd have knocked them out of the park.

They'd have gone. You could have the smell and taste of success. And as you imagine seeing you having already done it now.

Feel the feelings of what it would be like. Just feel it now. Feel as we call it the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

But knowing. This is possible. All you have to do is choose.

Maybe just say the words fuck it I'm doing it anyway. That's right. And just imagine all the new opportunities that'll come your way right now.

Even by just doing this process. And then you can begin to notice. What would you have to do right now when you open your eyes and you finish listening to this podcast? What would you have to do right now the first step to begin to create that experience? What's that first step? And just note it in your mind.

Keeping that picture of seeing yourself having already got it. There you go. And when you're ready you can open your eyes come back to me.

Make a little note maybe of that first step. You always come back to this by the way. And reinforce it.

Just note it. So many minutes we're in. And just reinforce and redo.

Reimagine. Because the more you do it the stronger and bigger and brighter it'll get. And what would it feel like to have no regrets? Hey that's exciting isn't it? That's exciting.

You see going back to me. It's all about me. No it isn't all about me.

But it is a bit about me. That course I didn't do where I convinced myself and others it was such a good thing not to do. But deep inside there was that little burning thing inside me that I really wanted to do it but I had that regret.

Well guess what? There's another one. There's another course. Another workshop.

With the same person. And it's next month. And guess what? I'm on that bloody course.

I'm doing it. And it's completely completely outside my familiar comfort zone. And I don't fucking care.

Because I'm going to have fun. I'm going to learn. I'm going to meet new people.

And I know they're going to be better at it than me. And that means I'm going to learn even more. And maybe just maybe I might find that passion.

There you go. So maybe maybe I'll tell you how it all went when I come back. But that's in a few weeks time.

You see to recap everything about this course. You can't fool yourself. You bloody can't.

As much as you try to convince yourself that you're right you know you're wrong. And you know it. But if you change that into excitement and curiosity.

Thinking that this is just an adventure. An experience to learn. That's what it's all about isn't it? That's why you're here in personal development.

To just step out. And it's just a bit outside that comfort zone that familiar zone that will make things so much different. And your confidence in doing that will spread.

It won't just spread in that one particular area. It will infect and affect every area of your life. Your confidence will grow.

Your curiosity will grow. Your skill set will grow. Your successes will grow.

And you'll begin to dream even bigger dreams. And that's what we're here for. To support you dreaming.

And not only dreaming but taking action on those dreams. And creating a life of no regret. Just do it.

I hope that's inspired you. I do hope that's inspired you. I'm inspired to do these things myself.

And I've even started thinking even having not done this already. What else can I do? Going back to my little plans and my icky guy stuff of all the things I want to do to create passion in my life. And I think you'll get the same.

And if there's anything in that that you go oh I'm still not sure Paul. Email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll crack that out. Because I want you to succeed in your dreams.

More than you can believe. More than you can expect. More than you desire.

So you can be overwhelmed with wonderfulness. If that's a word. And create a life that you were put on this bloody earth to do.

To live. So do that. Email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and share this if you would.

Because we all have things that we put off and have regrets. We don't tell anybody about them by the way do we? We keep them quiet. I've never told this all this about to anybody.

And now I've told you. But again I'm only telling you because I believe it will help you. And it helps me to get it out there.

Get it out of my head. To know what I'm doing. So please share this with anybody and everybody.

If you only shared it with two people it would be awesome. Maybe they'll listen to the podcast. They'll subscribe like you have done.

And more people will get to to live their dreams. There you go. So go wallow.

Wallow in the wonderful curiosity and excitement of your adventure of life. Because it's time to fly. Bye bye.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

401 episodes

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