041 Do Twins Really Need to Share Everything? 5 Insights for Twin Parents

Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas

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26d ago 22:55

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Parenting twins is a beautiful gift but, it can also feel overwhelming. From double nappies to double tantrums, everything feels doubled. And when it comes to sharing, many parents wonder: Should twins always share? What if they’re constantly fighting over the same toy? How do I teach fairness without endless meltdowns?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I’m joined by Smadar, a New Zealand–based twin specialist and founder of Twinful Life. With more than 15 years of experience supporting families around the world, Smadar knows exactly what parents of twins need to hear: sharing isn’t always caring, and it’s okay for twins to have their own things.

Together, we unpack some of the most common challenges twin parents face and offer practical, play-based strategies to bring more peace, confidence, and joy into daily life.

What We Cover in This Episode

The truth about sharing: Why children under 3–4 aren’t developmentally ready to share in the way we expect.
Why forced sharing backfires: How telling kids to hand things over doesn’t build kindness, it builds compliance.
The power of ownership: Why giving twins their own belongings helps reduce conflict and build independence.
The guilt and entitlement trap: How constant sharing pressures can lead to tricky behaviours and big emotions.
Fair vs. equal: Why twins don’t need two of everything, and how normalising differences sets them up for real-life success.

Even if you don’t have twins, these lessons apply to all young children. Siblings close in age, playdates with friends, even cousins at family gatherings, the same principles hold true.

When you understand what your child is really learning through play and conflict, you can respond with more empathy and less frustration. You’ll discover that:

Play is learning. Every conflict is a chance to practise problem-solving, patience, and connection.
Small shifts matter. Just a few tweaks in how you approach sharing can completely change the tone in your home.
Connection is key. It’s not about getting it “perfect”; it’s about creating an environment where your children feel seen, safe, and supported.

To connect with Smadar,

Click here to follow her on Instagram or here to head to her website

And remember, today is a great day to play!

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If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

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