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Kia ora, Hello! I’m Ruth Vercoe, a teacher-turned-mum, here on a mission to demystify Child’s Play through understanding play schemas. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, 'Why is my child doing that?'—whether it’s throwing their soft toys, hiding stones around the house, or lining up their crayons —then you’re in the right place, and certainly not alone. Here, we’ll explore the magic of play through the lens of play schemas—those hidden repeated patterns in your child’s behaviour that hold ...
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Toddler Toolkit

Heather Schalk, M.Ed.

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The complete toolkit for understanding toddler behavior (e.g. hitting, throwing, biting, pushing), navigating tantrums and meltdowns, fostering healthy sibling relationships and dynamics so your kids can get along and raising skilled resilient self-regulated toddlers. If you have toddlers that are close in age or multiple kids then this podcast is made for you! Heather helps parents transform their aggressive toddlers behavior into a calm, kind and caring toddler with a more peaceful and joy ...
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There may just be a method to the madness after all! Our toddlers are constantly learning about the world around them. And the main way in which they learn is through play and play schemas. From throwing things and ripping pages out of books to tossing all their toys out of the bin and lining their cars up in a certain way, our toddlers are natural…
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Send us a text The Two Words That Will Transform Your Parenting — “When” and “Then” Are you tired of endless toddler negotiations, meltdowns during transitions, or repeating yourself a hundred times a day? You’re not alone — and there is a gentle, effective way forward. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe introduces two simple…
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Send us a text Part 1 of 2 In this episode, we’re flipping the script on self-care. Instead of waiting for naptime or feeling guilty for needing a break, we’re inviting you to see the magic already happening in your everyday parenting life — through play schemas. Parenting young children can be exhausting, joyful, overwhelming, and deeply meaningfu…
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Send us a text Part 2 of 2 In this episode, we’re flipping the script on self-care. Instead of waiting for naptime or feeling guilty for needing a break, we’re inviting you to see the magic already happening in your everyday parenting life — through play schemas. Parenting young children can be exhausting, joyful, overwhelming, and deeply meaningfu…
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Send us a text Ever feel like your toddler is just ignoring you on purpose? You’ve asked nicely (three times), tried raising your voice, or even taken a toy away — and still, they won’t listen. Before you start second-guessing yourself or wondering if it’s just your child, take a deep breath. You are not alone — and there’s a powerful reason behind…
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Two Secrets to Enjoying the Toddler Years In this episode, we reveal the two key factors that can help parents actually enjoy the toddler years: 1. addressing shame and 2. letting go of perfectionism. We discuss how these issues often go unnoticed but heavily impact our parenting experience. There's also an exciting announcement about the upcoming …
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Send us a text What if your toddler’s obsession with mud, watering cans, or hauling carrots isn’t just play—but a window into how they learn best? In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we take you into the garden—yes, dirt and all—to uncover how vegetable gardening can reveal powerful insights about your child’s development. Whether your li…
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Understanding Toddler Tantrums: Real Life Stories + What Helped Welcome to the Toddler Toolkit podcast! In this episode, we delve deep into the world of toddler tantrums, exploring not just the outward emotional outbursts but the deeper unmet needs and expectations behind them. Host Heather shares real-life tantrum stories from her own family to il…
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Send us a text Free download available! Grab your free Easter Play Ideas PDF with all 10 schema-based activities, family-friendly versions, and our go-to oaty pancake recipe at playschemas.com/free Feeling overwhelmed by all the Easter hype—and wondering how to make it meaningful for your toddler? In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re…
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Whether you're a brand new parent or a veteran, keeping track of a baby's feeding schedule is not easy! Roxie Alsruhe discovered this first-hand while caring for her newborn son. When their baby started losing weight instead of gaining, Roxie and her wife did everything they could to help him get the nourishment he needed. Through the many sleeples…
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Send us a text Looking for the discount code? use playschemas10 at the checkout! ww.thesafekidsproject.com As parents, we want to protect our children. But when it comes to body safety, it can feel overwhelming—where do we start? How do we talk about it in a way that’s age-appropriate and empowering? And how do we navigate such an important convers…
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The One Thing That Shapes Toddler Behavior and Self-Esteem In this episode, we explore the key factor that shapes your toddler's behavior and self-esteem - your language and reactions. We'll discuss the concept of the toddler reactivity loop, how to set the stage for better behaviors, and why the attention you give is the attention you get back. Le…
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Send us a text Wrapping Up the Love Languages Series: How Play Can Deepen Your Connection with Your Child Do you ever wonder what’s really behind your child’s play? Or why they behave a certain way when they’re feeling disconnected? Understanding play schemas and love languages can completely transform the way you interact with your little one—maki…
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The Toddler Discipline Script That Backfires & What to Do Instead In this episode, we're diving into the shortcomings of widely shared toddler discipline advice, particularly the 'validation boundary method.' Learn why popular scripts like 'It's okay to be mad, but we don't hit' can backfire, reinforcing unwanted behaviors and leading to parental b…
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Send us a text Unlock the Secrets of Your Child’s Play: Play Schemas & Acts of Service in Parenting! Have you ever wondered why your child insists on lining up their toys, spinning in circles, or moving objects from place to place? It might seem random (or even frustrating!), but these repetitive behaviours are actually part of their natural learni…
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How to Find the Perfect Babysitter for Your Toddler In this episode, Heather shares valuable insights on finding a babysitter that suits your toddler's temperament and aligns with your parenting style. She discusses emotional fit, parenting style alignment, and offers tips on managing time duration and transitions. Heather shares personal experienc…
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Send us a text Support the show If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message. Facebook and Instagram @play_schem…
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Do you feel as though you've read every parenting book out there and tried all the advice without seeing any of the results? When we're looking for help for battling difficult behaviors, it seems that every parent "expert" out there has the solution to our struggles. But when we try to implement their advice, it either doesn't quite work out like w…
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Overcoming Toddler Separation Anxiety: Tips and Strategies In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit Podcast, Heather tackles the challenging issue of separation anxiety in toddlers. Drawing from her personal experiences as a mother of twins, she provides practical advice on how to help toddlers feel secure when parents leave. You'll discover why sepa…
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Send us a text Ever feel like your child is constantly throwing, spinning, or building the same thing over and over—and you’re not quite sure why? Or maybe you’re wondering how to give your child the quality time they crave without adding more to your already packed schedule? You’re not alone! In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re unl…
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Send us a text In this episode, we delve into the fascinating world of child play through the lens of play schemas and the powerful impact of words of affirmation. Understanding why children engage in particular play patterns allows us to connect with them on a deeper level and support their growth more effectively. These schemas are not simply rep…
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Send us a text 🎁 WIN A FREE BOOK! Love The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman? I’m giving away a FREE copy to one lucky listener! ✅ How to enter: Join my mailing list before March 31, 2025, at 👉 playschemas.com Did you know that something as simple as a hug, a high-five, or a game of tag could be the key to your child feeling deeply loved…
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Send us a text LOVE to a Child is Spelt TIME: Understanding the 5 Love Languages of Children 💡 Want a chance to win ‘The 5 Love Languages of Children’ book? Join my mailing list at playschemas.com—you’ll be in the draw to win, no matter where in the world you are! 💛 Do you ever wonder if your child truly feels loved? You tell them “I love you” a hu…
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Send us a text Play Schemas at Home: Turning Play Into Productivity How to Encourage Your Child to Help Around the House—Through Play! FREE list of play and helping around the home ideas - head to playschemas.com/free! Does it feel like you’re constantly cleaning up after your little one while they seem more interested in making a mess? What if, in…
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Send us a text Playing Together – How to Join the Fun Without Taking Over Have you ever found yourself ‘playing’ with your child, only to realise that you’re the one in charge? One moment you’re happily stacking blocks, and the next, you’re directing the entire build like an overzealous project manager. Sound familiar? You’re not alone! In this epi…
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Send us a text 🎙️ Play Schemas and Siblings – How to Make Schemas Work for (Not Against!) You! 👧👦 Do your kids constantly clash over toys, fight over space, or seem to have completely different play styles? You’re not alone! Sibling play can be tricky—one child wants to build, while the other wants to knock things down. One loves to throw, while th…
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Send us a text Episode 9: The Power of Independent Play – Nurturing Confident and Creative Kids Do you dream of guilt-free moments to enjoy a hot drink while it’s still hot—without hearing a desperate “Muuum!” every two minutes? What if those moments didn’t just give you a breather but also helped your child grow into a confident, creative problem …
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We hear from all the parenting advice how important it is to set boundaries and limits with our children to keep them from doing the things we don't want them to do. But what if they don't work? Boundaries are a great tool to have in your parenting toolkit, and you should use them when appropriate, but they aren't the only parenting tool or strateg…
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Send us a text Ready to make 2025 the best year yet for your family? Dive into this exciting episode of Demystifying Child’s Play as we explore how understanding and embracing play schemas can transform your parenting journey. Whether you’re a returning listener or new to the podcast, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable tips to h…
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Are you ready to set new parenting goals for the new year that don't cause more tension, burnout, and frustration for your family?! Make 2025 the year of calmer parenting, fewer tantrums, and a happier home with a simple strategy that actually works! Listen in to learn the KEY to parenting your toddler with less stress this year, and join Heather i…
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Feeling stressed about navigating the holidays with your toddler? From new routines (or lack thereof), family gatherings, fun outings, travel, and, of course, all the fun new gadgets and toys, the holidays can be a major meltdown generator for your toddler. However, you don't have to figure it all out on your own or convince yourself that you just …
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Send us a text Is your child tossing baubles, spinning ornaments, or carrying presents across the room? Before you wonder if they’re being “naughty,” take a deep breath—they’re not being difficult; they’re being explorers! In this episode, we’ll decode these behaviours through the lens of play schemas, helping you see the magic in your child’s play…
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Does your child have food allergies or sensitivities and you're worried about keeping them safe, especially during the holiday season? The holidays usually mean lots of gatherings, which usually means lots of food, and it can be a major source of anxiety and overwhelm for parents when their little ones can't have certain foods. Instead of skipping …
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Send us a text Unlock the Secret to Your Child’s Play: Why Nature Play and Play Schemas Matter! 🌱 Ever wondered why your toddler spends hours collecting sticks, throwing pebbles, or carefully lining up leaves? What if these seemingly random behaviours were actually the building blocks of their development? In this episode of Demystifying Child's Pl…
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Send us a text Unlock the Secrets Behind Your Child’s Play: The Origins of Play Schemas Ever wondered why your little one loves to spin wheels, drop toys, or line up blocks over and over again? Those seemingly simple actions aren’t just random—they’re part of something much bigger: play schemas. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re d…
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Send us a text 🎙️ Welcome to Demystifying Child's Play 🌟 Do you ever wonder why your child insists on lining up toys or endlessly pouring water? Are you curious about how these playful quirks unlock their learning and development? You're in the right place! 🎉 In this episode, we’re diving into 10 play schemas—the building blocks of children’s play—…
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Send us a text Ever wonder why your toddler insists on throwing toys, spinning in circles, or hiding your kitchen towels? Believe it or not, there’s a method to the madness—it’s called play schemas. These are natural, repeated behaviours that children use to explore and understand their world. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re unc…
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Check out the brand new mini-course, Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler in 7 Days! If you're ready to stop the meltdowns and finally enjoy more peaceful days with your toddler, then this is a course you don't want to miss! Take advantage of the pre-sale price now before it's gone and the price goes up! Do you feel like you're going to lose you…
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Send us a text Unlocking Play Schemas: Understand & Support Playful Learning | Episode 002 🎙️ Hey there! 👋 Ever wondered why your child keeps repeating the same actions, like throwing toys, moving objects around, or spinning in circles? Believe it or not, there's a fascinating reason behind these repetitive behaviours. They’re called play schemas—p…
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You may think you know the cause behind your toddler's meltdowns, but do you really? In this episode, Heather discusses the real reasons behind your toddler's tantrums and they may not be what you think! Is your toddler really upset that he got the blue cup instead of the green one or is he frustrated that he just can't seem to communicate what he …
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Send us a text Understanding Play Schemas: Demystifying Child's Play | Episode 1 🎙️ Welcome to the first episode of "Demystifying Child’s Play"! I’m Ruth Vercoe, and today we’re diving into the fascinating world of play schemas—the patterns that shape how children learn and grow through play. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or caregiver of ch…
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You might be surprised to find that there are some pretty common misconceptions about what it means to help toddlers listen more and tantrum less. Even though we may all want our toddlers to be better listeners and throw fewer tantrums, our beliefs around how to do that and why affect our approach and the methods we use. Whether you believe that ki…
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No matter how old your baby is, it's never too late to heal your postpartum body. Through the many physical and hormonal changes that occur throughout pregnancy, our bodies can easily become depleted and distressed during the postpartum period. Even years later, our bodies can still feel the effects of pregnancy and the stress it creates. Join Heat…
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Competing for attention and affection is not uncommon among twin toddlers or even toddlers that are just close in age. When one toddler wants hugs and kisses from mom, the other one is usually not too far behind. And when one toddler gets hurt during playtime or even when bickering with their sibling, you have to manage comforting one while navigat…
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It's the Toddler Toolkit one-year celebration episode! Come join in the fun and celebrate the podcast's first birthday with Heather as she dives into 7 key milestones to look out for between ages 2 1/2 and 3 1/2, and shares some fun toddler bloopers with her own twin boys from the past year. Also, be entered in to win a fun prize for the podcast's …
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October is pregnancy loss awareness month and we're here to spread light, love, and comfort to every parent who has experienced or is currently experiencing the grief of loss. Join Heather as she discusses this sensitive topic with guest, Sabrina Fletcher, a pregnancy loss doula and companion. In this interview, Heather and Sabrina acknowledge and …
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Parenting a complex, or neurodivergent, child is full of its own unique challenges and obstacles that add onto the many routine challenges we already face as parents everyday. When we don't know how to support our children in the best way, or don't understand the why behind our children's behavior, we often get caught up in a cycle of stress, frust…
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Are you making this mistake with your toddler? This parenting tactic often becomes the biggest regret for many parents as their children grow into teens and then adults. It often causes a rift in the parent-child relationship, creates shame-based beliefs for children, and stops them from developing their natural gifts and strengths. Rather than pla…
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Cheering for your child sounds like such a simple thing. We all want what's best for our kids, right? But sometimes, it can be difficult to know what words to say or actions to take to show our children the support they need in the way they need it. And when we can learn and grow together as a family, we experience rich relationships that bring us …
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Is your strong-willed child making you want to rip your hair out and throw in the towel with this whole parenting thing? A toddler who talks back, makes seemingly simple activities the most challenging, or who gets physically violent with themselves or others can cause any parent to want to give up. Navigating your toddler's heightened emotions, ta…
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