Why You Keep Chasing People Who Won’t Choose You — And How to Finally Break Free
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Why do we keep chasing people who don’t choose us — even when we know better?
In this powerful, soul-baring episode of The Femme Cast, I break down the emotional addiction behind chasing emotionally unavailable partners — and why breaking free from this cycle feels so hard. Drawing from my own experience during a 7-year relationship hiatus, I share how I treated chasing like an addiction… and how this one shift changed everything.
This episode is for the woman who’s tired of begging, convincing, or shrinking herself to be chosen — and is ready to choose herself instead.
Inside, we dive into:
- The emotional voids we try to fill through unavailable partners
- The two questions that helped me stop chasing and start healing
- Why chasing others only makes them run — and what actually makes you magnetic
- The difference between codependent needs vs. healthy relationship desires
- The runner-chaser dynamic and how it’s playing out in your texts, your thoughts, and your energy
- The raw, messy truth about how I stopped outsourcing my worth to men who couldn’t meet me
We also explore what it really means to become the center of your own life — not in a selfish way, but in a self-honoring way. This is the work that helped me call back the parts of myself I had abandoned for love that wasn’t real, and finally make space for love that truly is.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in the loop of performing, proving, and overgiving — this episode is your mirror, your permission slip, and your first step out.
🎧 Listen now to reclaim your energy, shift the dynamic, and attract love that chooses you without the chase.
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Chapters
1. Why You Keep Chasing People Who Won’t Choose You — And How to Finally Break Free (00:00:00)
2. Welcome and Setting the Scene (00:01:02)
3. The Psychology of Chasing Unavailable People (00:02:45)
4. Healing Fragmented Parts of Yourself (00:06:45)
5. The Runner-Chaser Dynamic Revealed (00:09:05)
6. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationship Needs (00:16:13)
7. Breaking the Pattern: Two Key Questions (00:21:26)
8. Setting Standards and Final Thoughts (00:28:08)
149 episodes