A true deadline & the first I've made since the beginning. Scroll all the way down = June 9, 2022. PROGRESS/RECOVERY does take time.
Manage episode 489630403 series 3384362
This podcast is inspired by putting away ptsd created by monthly zoom meetings with BOD at HOA in Chicago, IL, USA. They blame the residents. They blame the homeless people (there's only one in the park). They used intel on me when I joined trying to start committees in a familiar place (where I live) since safety was my #1 thing and a board member took a giant intake of breath and yelled at me, but in that moment, I realized it was done purposely. If you're truly yelling, do you stop to breathe & then return to same volume, tone, pitch?
Something similar happened in a moment of distress. An explosion of emotion with real tears (when another time, there were none even with eye rubbing since the turn of the head was so quick when I agreed to a divorce, not a downgrade, but wasn't my idea, but also, didn't agree to "date" you either---nice story!) telling me he's not going to kill me. Just needs an out & a way to answer those questions/avoid answering them entirely.
When you an say it/spray it/slay it, write it to fight it, so wrote it, I'm devoted, it really does end what we know as ptsd, or "p"ictures, "t"ouches, "s"ounds disordered, cause they lyin'. That's what I heard over & over so I wrote it over & over, quantifying it & as I write it now, I'm thinking, is this the last time? Only if I can transform it. Otherwise I'll be typing* (the adrenaline is in my fingertips) in description boxes & in posts forever so when you're AWARE of the behavior* next work hard at being AWAKE to the moment you give conscious consent to living your life (the one you're meant to have) despite everything that has happened.
262 episodes