Do You Need to Change Your Partner or Your Patterns EP 124

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TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships »
Do You Need to Change Your Partner or Your Patterns EP 124

4d ago 40:43

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn dives into one of the most exhausting relationship cycles—when you keep second-guessing your partner, breaking up, getting back together, and wondering if they’re “the one.”

The truth? Your confusion isn’t about your partner. It’s about your pattern.

If you’ve ever caught yourself analyzing every text, tone, or gesture, or if you’re tired of asking “should I stay or should I go?”, this episode will hit home. Shanenn unpacks how fear, self-doubt, and emotional hot potatoes (yep, you read that right) keep us in chaos—and what to do instead.

You’ll learn how to pause the decision, regulate your nervous system, and start building self-trust, so you can finally feel confident in your choices—no matter who you’re with.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

You’re not confused about them—you’re disconnected from you.
Fear-based decisions aren’t decisions; they’re safety strategies in disguise.
If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.
You can’t heal what you keep outsourcing.
Until you trust yourself, you’ll doubt every relationship—even the right one.

💡 Key Moments:

2:00 – Why your breakup reflex isn’t about your partner—it’s about escaping discomfort
6:45 – The “emotional hot potato” that keeps you stuck in the same patterns
10:25 – Why your feelings might be valid… but not about what’s happening right now
13:20 – The difference between deciding and reacting
17:00 – How to tell the difference between a red flag pattern and a personal trigger
22:37 – Why you don’t have to decide today if your partner is “the one”
30:00 – The 30-day pause: the simple reset that stabilizes your decision-making
33:50 – How to soothe your own nervous system without outsourcing it to your partner
38:00 – The question that changes everything: “What would I choose if I trusted myself to handle any outcome?”

❤️ Quote of the Episode:

“Until you trust yourself, you’ll doubt every relationship—even the right one.”

🧠 Resources Mentioned:

Free Discovery Call with Shanenn → Schedule Here

✨ Perfect for listeners who:

Break up and get back together on repeat
Feel anxious, jealous, or unsafe in relationships
Want to stop obsessing over every text or tone
Are ready to make decisions from confidence, not fear
Are tired of repeating the same emotional patterns

🔥 Call to Action:

If you’re ready to stop spiraling and start trusting yourself again, book a free discovery call with Shanenn. This is the work she does every day—helping you rebuild from the inside out, so you stop changing partners and start changing your pattern.

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The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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