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228. Negotiate Your Way to Success: Empathy, Mirroring, and Labeling

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Manage episode 505330146 series 2613498
Content provided by Think Fast Talk Smart and Matt Abrahams. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Think Fast Talk Smart and Matt Abrahams or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

Be ready, stay grounded, and communicate clearly — no matter what’s at stake.

Communicating under pressure isn’t just a useful skill — it can be the difference between escalation and resolution. For Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and CEO of The Black Swan Group, it’s a daily discipline built on empathy, self-regulation, and intentional listening. In this expanded conversation from our Spontaneous Speaking miniseries, Voss offers a rare window into the mindset and methods that helped him show up calm, focused, and adaptable when the pressure is sky-high.
“Emotional intelligence is an insane accelerator to outcomes,” Voss shares, explaining how empathy, tone, and timing can shift the direction of any conversation. He breaks down techniques like labeling and mirroring, explores how to use silence and word choice strategically, and explains why overthinking can be just as risky as acting too fast. From gut-level pattern recognition to tactical use of voice, Voss shows how communication becomes more impactful when we’re not trying to control — but to connect.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Voss and host Matt Abrahams dive into how negotiation techniques developed for life-or-death situations can be applied far beyond them — offering powerful takeaways for anyone who needs to think clearly under pressure, stay agile in the moment, and communicate effectively when it matters most.

Episode Reference Links:

Connect:

Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:50) - Path to Hostage Negotiation
  • (03:42) - Power of Emotional Intelligence
  • (05:00) - Staying Calm Under Pressure
  • (06:10) - Mental Prep & Mindset
  • (07:18) - Trusting Your Gut
  • (07:58) - Avoiding Overthinking
  • (09:01) - Flexibility in Negotiations
  • (10:15) - Listen More, Talk Less
  • (10:31) - Labeling & Mirroring
  • (12:51) - Tone Shapes Impact
  • (14:06) - The Final Three Questions
  • (19:37) - Conclusion

*****
Thank you to our sponsors:

Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smart

Support Think Fast Talk Smart by joining TFTS Premium.

  continue reading

235 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 505330146 series 2613498
Content provided by Think Fast Talk Smart and Matt Abrahams. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Think Fast Talk Smart and Matt Abrahams or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

Be ready, stay grounded, and communicate clearly — no matter what’s at stake.

Communicating under pressure isn’t just a useful skill — it can be the difference between escalation and resolution. For Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and CEO of The Black Swan Group, it’s a daily discipline built on empathy, self-regulation, and intentional listening. In this expanded conversation from our Spontaneous Speaking miniseries, Voss offers a rare window into the mindset and methods that helped him show up calm, focused, and adaptable when the pressure is sky-high.
“Emotional intelligence is an insane accelerator to outcomes,” Voss shares, explaining how empathy, tone, and timing can shift the direction of any conversation. He breaks down techniques like labeling and mirroring, explores how to use silence and word choice strategically, and explains why overthinking can be just as risky as acting too fast. From gut-level pattern recognition to tactical use of voice, Voss shows how communication becomes more impactful when we’re not trying to control — but to connect.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Voss and host Matt Abrahams dive into how negotiation techniques developed for life-or-death situations can be applied far beyond them — offering powerful takeaways for anyone who needs to think clearly under pressure, stay agile in the moment, and communicate effectively when it matters most.

Episode Reference Links:

Connect:

Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:50) - Path to Hostage Negotiation
  • (03:42) - Power of Emotional Intelligence
  • (05:00) - Staying Calm Under Pressure
  • (06:10) - Mental Prep & Mindset
  • (07:18) - Trusting Your Gut
  • (07:58) - Avoiding Overthinking
  • (09:01) - Flexibility in Negotiations
  • (10:15) - Listen More, Talk Less
  • (10:31) - Labeling & Mirroring
  • (12:51) - Tone Shapes Impact
  • (14:06) - The Final Three Questions
  • (19:37) - Conclusion

*****
Thank you to our sponsors:

Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smart

Support Think Fast Talk Smart by joining TFTS Premium.

  continue reading

235 episodes

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