EPISODE SUMMARY (Tape 35):
A long-distance call with questionable audio quality spirals quickly into fashion advice, livestock comparisons, silent Caleb, and a surprisingly long telephone cord.

Listeners are introduced to a popular local garment made of lamb wool and allegedly topped with a rabbit testicle pom-pom. If no rabbits are available, a Ferret substitute will do. The logistics are unclear.

Music preferences in Bootstuck are discussed, but the town’s recent shipment of broken Bluetooth earbuds means no one can actually hear anything — leading to mass public singalongs that are entirely disconnected and wildly off-key. Gerald has blue teeth and is therefore assumed to be the key to solving this.

Key Moments:

• Fleece hats with rabbit nuts
• Gerald’s blue teeth = community Bluetooth
• Music headphones that don’t play music
• A one-kilometer landline shared with Dave ( Don?)
• Lollipop time anthem (“Pop pop pop!”)

If you’ve ever tried to get a straight answer in a snowstorm while wearing a testicle hat and shouting Britney lyrics into a dead Bluetooth earbud — this one’s for you.

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