This one kicks off like a 1940s social hygiene film before it collapses into a tale of unstable real estate, gravy-based adhesives, and existential architecture. Hat Guy shares a nursery rhyme, forgets how houses work, and constructs a two-bedroom, zero-bed home entirely out of playing cards. No one moves in. Fortunately.

Elsewhere, Hat Guy may be opening a business, launching a sport, or reinventing the economy—it’s hard to say, because halfway through his pitch, Steven interrupts to explode the dirty dishes. What begins as a plan to trade acorn tops for bottoms quickly mutates into a golf range proposal. A logical move for a town shaped like a ribbon and barely wider than a canoe.

There’s confusion. There’s paste. There’s “decoupage,” which immediately gets added to the official list of Bootstuck’s six Big Words. Also, we finally learn the town's exact dimensions: 6,000 feet long by 30 feet wide. Suitable as a runway—but what, exactly, is landing here?

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