TPToA Podcast 413 – Jurassic World Rebirth

The Periodic Table of Awesome Podcast

Content provided by The Periodic Table of Awesome Podcast. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by The Periodic Table of Awesome Podcast or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

4M ago 1:07:38

MP3•Episode home

Jurassic World: Rebirth

For a franchise that started with a single book and then a begrudging sequel, the fact that we are now 7 Films, two sub-titles, two Netflix animated shows and numerous games deep, tells us a lot about the state of the entertainment industry… (rather than the quality of that first book.) We have moved past the Jurassic park, beyond even the Jurassic World… we are now living in a post Jurassic planet. So if this film a true rebirth of a franchise, or the should this egg have been left in the incubator a bit longer.

Dion and Jill have seen this weeks film, but Quinny is definitely here for emotional support and colour commentary.

https://youtu.be/1AGTMry5nSc

As always, a gigantosaursus sized thank-you to the dinosaurs and the mercenaries who love them, who join in with the conversation on the Twitch stream, live each Tuesday (or wednesday) night at 7:30pm AEDT. And an especially huge thanks to any of the slutty glasses wearing scientists who are kind enough to support us by leaving thier fossils in our jar via Ko-Fi, or subscribing on twitch… every bit helps us to keep the fences electrified and the boat fueled up… or it just pays for hosting…)

If you feel so inclined drop us a sub we really love them, The more subby mc-sub-faces we get, the more Emotes You get!

https://youtu.be/jan5CFWs9ic?si=wCPlEDf35P3owkWB

WE WANT YOUR FEEDBACK!

Send in voicemails or emails with your opinions on this show (or any others) to [email protected]

Please make sure to join our social networks too! We’re on:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TPToA/

Twitter: www.twitter.com/TPToA

Facebook: www.facebook.com/PeriodicTableOfAwesome

Instagram: www.instagram.com/theperiodictableofawesome/

Full text transcript

Quinny

RRRraawr. You don’t wait to see the transcription of this.

Dion

Uh, uh hello going to the table. Listen, tonight we’re talking. Billy and the Montessori. Yes, that’s right. Jurassic World rebirth. Let’s go and say hello. Tell me your dinosaur name, Connie.

Quinny

Rusty, Durkins, Liam and someone else asaurus.

Dion

Rusty jerkins. You didn’t think about this hard enough, Jill, do you have a dinosaur name?

Quinny

I don’t know.

Jill

I’m a jealous sore.

Dion

I’m jealous, though. There you go very simply done.

Quinny

Ohh OK I thought I was trying to do the actual like thing. No, right. OK, I’m just I’m.

Dion

A Quinn playdon.

Quinny

Hang on.

Jill

Like it?

Dion

That’s where I gotta.

Quinny

Call Quinn flygon. I’m down for being a Quinn flygon.

Dion

Yeah. Or Quinn Claudon or something.

Quinny

Quinn play.

Dion

Docus yeah, yeah.

Quinny

Yeah, I I like being a quintillus.

Speaker

Yep.

Jill

Phenolic quinoa. Quinoa.

Quinny

Quinolines quinolines Rex. But not locusts cause **** locusts cause that was stupid, yeah.

Dion

******** cause. Yeah.

Quinny

Sorry, I I. Love that we tonight we’re talking about Jurassic World rebirth. Yeah, the chat is currently just concerned about the Superman shit that we watched. Last night.

Speaker

Usually.

Speaker 7

We’ll get to that next week.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah, next.

Quinny

Week we will we will talk. About Superman and the real dog. Yeah. Next week? Yeah.

Dion

We’re not, we’re. Talking about the other summer blockbuster of the season by Universal Pictures. That’s right, Jurassic is not finished yet. We’re having another crack at it. The 7th ******* film in the franchise is out. And for your watching viewing Dino pleasure.

Quinny

Hmm. And Speaking of a real dog, let’s talk about this.

Dion

Donald, pleasure.

Speaker

oh Wow. Wow.

Dion

Yes, it kind of does.

Quinny

Yeah, I I I I’m gonna have to. Sorry, you go down.

Dion

No, no, you’re on, Gifford.

Quinny

I was just gonna say I have to put my hands up to it. I haven’t been able to watch this film. I have seen clips of it I have. I have been given a a wonderful description from Dion as to what the film essentially was about.

Dion

A rapid fire blow by blow.

Quinny

Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, I I haven’t been able to watch the film yet, so I’m at a certain point in time. I may even have to skip out for spoilers, or I may not bother. I don’t know.

Dion

Don’t even bother. I won’t even go there. It can’t be that sort of thing. Yeah.

Quinny

Right.

Dion

And I mean, if you’re not for anyone in the chat, and who? Casper. Casper. Hello, Casper. You. We. You. You’re like. I haven’t seen Dominion. Guess what? Don’t worry. This is a brand new. Yes. Because it went. No, no. We’ve finished those stories now, and we’re gonna start a whole new thing with a whole new team of lovable people that may or may not get eaten.

Quinny

I guess.

Speaker 7

Doesn’t matter. Yeah.

Quinny

Yes, this, this, this new reboot trilogy thing. I don’t know if it’s gonna be a trilogy. Who knows? Is entirely Chris Pratt bless.

Dion

Unfortunately, it seems to have done fairly good bank, so there’s probably gonna be a sequel.

Quinny

How many Jurassic films? Until they just completely have run out of anything interesting to say about dinosaurs.

Speaker

Right.

Dion

Yep.

Quinny

I understand. I mean, we have hit the bottom of the.

Dion

Well, what? Well. They seem to be they see they seem to. Be re digging the well.

Quinny

Well, this is Jurassic World.

Dion

Just next door. Yeah, look. OK.

Quinny

Like I don’t know how to. Do this anymore. Todd.

Dion

It’s difficult. I’m trying actually trying to think, OK, what sort of, uh, freaking accent does queen have to do this opposite? Because we got to get the synopsis out of the way. What is like in Jurassic World rebirth all about? You know, is it Scarlett Johansson giving birth to a dinosaur? No, it’s not. It’s got nothing to.

Quinny

OK, it’s not that right? No, because that would have been a very interesting and strange film.

Dion

Do with.

Speaker

Dion

Is it Ian Malcolm waking up to a Velociraptor in his bed? Allah Jurassic World 3. Or was it 2? I can’t remember. There was literally that bit. Where’s Malcolm? Malcolm.

Jill

Three, it was him and the daughter that went back to.

Dion

Yeah, I think. 3.

Jill

The.

Dion

Island in the circle? That’s right. But that could have been anyway. Yeah, anyway.

Quinny

Sorry, just to go back, Dominion was the one that included most of like a bunch of the original Jurassic Park cast, wasn’t it? Yes.

Dion

Yes.

Jill

That is the crossover 1.

Quinny

Yeah, right, that was.

Speaker

Yeah.

Quinny

The the X-Men that is the future 1st.

Speaker 7

Yes, yes it was.

Dion

Yeah, yeah, the old and the new coming together to fight dinosaurs again. Yeah. Fight, ******* Jurassic locust.

Quinny

Locusts. Yeah, not even dinosaurs. ******* locusts. I remember that part about Dominion being really ****.

Dion

But this one.

Jill

Yeah. And I had the evil Tom Cook that was. Selling the dinosaurs or something, right?

Dion

Ohh look, there’s always an evil scientist trying to profit from the dinosaurs. That’s the that’s the whole point. And in this one guess what? You’re not alone. It’s evil scientist trying to profit from the dinosaurs through corporate.

Speaker

Right.

Quinny

So you don’t need me to do this anymore.

Dion

Hey, go right ahead, man. I don’t even have any background music for you. I just have. I can just do dinosaur. Creams in the background.

Quinny

Hey. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So, Zora Bennett. Yeah. Like she leads a team of skilled operatives to the most dangerous Wow place on Earth. I’m not. That’s meant to be a, me and Malcolm and it’s. Feeling miserable.

Dion

I know I was kind of like.

Speaker 7

Sure. That’s what you were doing.

Quinny

Yeah, I was like, yeah, no, I I realized I was not in a gold blooming of enough. No, couldn’t do it just so I’m just gonna do it as me moves to Christian.

Dion

Christopher Walken for fun. Why not?

Quinny

It was heading towards Christopher Morgan. Well, Dinos. He’s a team. No, I’m. I’m apparently not in a place where I could do stupid voices right now. Something has broken in me. Thanks to COVID, I’m pretty sure 15 of my 27 elves that live inside me. Are dead.

Jill

No.

Dion

This is just becoming horrifying. Please continue this, not this. As quickly as that.

Quinny

Yes, it is. OK. Zora Bennett. Yeah, zora. That is her name. Leads a team of skilled operatives to the most dangerous place on Earth. An island research facility for the original Jurassic Park. 1 of 27,000 island research. Facilities for the original Jurassic Park, apparently. Yeah. Their mission is to secure genetic material from dinosaurs, not in the way you’re thinking. Whose DNA can provide life saving benefits to mankind as the top secret expedition becomes more and more risky, they soon make a sinister, shocking discovery that’s been hidden from the world for decades. There you go.

Dion

I I love that synopsis. I still have no idea what the sinister and shocking discovery that’s been hidden.

Quinny

Yeah.

Dion

From the world for.

Jill

Decades is that was the Montessori US, and it wasn’t decades. It was 17 years.

Dion

Yeah, which is very nice decades, but also like, is that a shocking thing? No, it’s like, OK, they’re hidden.

Jill

Set at the start of the movie.

Dion

It’s like. It’s kind of like it’s kind of like, wow, would Jurassic World have progressed into that? Ohh, you come to see the dinosaurs in the cages too. Come see the freak show. Freak show dinosaurs come. See. The freak show.

Jill

Yeah, it was definitely giving phantom of the opera dinosaur vibes. It was like I showed the whole thing. Just. Yeah, we’ll wait until the end. Yeah.

Speaker

Yeah.

Speaker 7

It’s just like. Yeah.

Speaker

Yeah.

Quinny

I’m speaking Elephant Man and dinosaurs.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah, really. And also I. Love that they just played into the tropes right at the start there of the. Hapless idiot scientist who can’t do things right. Who does the little critical mistake even though they work in literally a research *******. Place and it’s their mistake that unleashes absolute hell across that. And I’m like, wow, if that was the security problem, like, that thing that that person did, they had way bigger problems. You know, at least they at least they had an actual corporate self sabotage moment in Jurassic Park. The first one where it’s like, ah, I’m doing this for money. It’s like, yeah, great. I understand that.

Speaker 7

Yeah.

Jill

Yeah, where was BD Wong in this one?

Quinny

Yeah. Or or Dennis medrick.

Dion

Yeah, yeah. Surprising lack of BD Wong. In all of this, too, yeah, yeah.

Quinny

It’s. I’m pretty sure he died at. The end of the last one, didn’t he?

Jill

Probably. Maybe.

Dion

You’re not like, are you? Are you? Are you seriously telling me that that character would not have cloned himself about 53 billion times because he’s the master of the cloning stuff and has been doing all of that? And he’s like, you’re gonna make like 50 of.

Jill

Yeah, exactly.

Quinny

Yeah, I have. I’m not entirely sure that may or may not have been an actual plot point from. The animated series. Like like I I’m the the Jurassic nerd who has gone and watched all of Camp Cretaceous and all of ******* chaos theory. The two Jurassic animated series. So yeah, yeah, I mean very well aware of how stupid the ******* storylines are.

Dion

Someone else?

Quinny

I’m.

Dion

The movie is this movie, this movie, not the movie. This movie established itself in the Jurassic World world by becoming a direct continuation from the Jurassic World Movie World. I know right where the dinosaurs have escaped from their captivity, which we saw in Dominion, and they’re kind of populating themselves out across and the and to causing chaos to the humans like humans have to deal with dinosaurs as a thing. But then I love that it did a smart thing in my brain which was to pull it all back towards the equator. Because they’re basically like, oh, dinosaurs are dying and they’re becoming a real pain in the **** like a dead dinosaur is quite annoying and everyone’s bored with them because they’re just a pain. They just cause traffic gridlock when they die, and they can only really exist around the equator, where it’s a more oxygen rich and kind of prehistoric era like like area where it. There. More sustainable life. Expectancy. So dinosaurs basically exist around the yeah, dinosaurs basically exist around the equator and and you know people kind of forgotten about them except for the corporations which want to make drugs, drugs, drugs from dinosaurs, even though technically no one’s allowed to go near the dinosaurs.

Quinny

It does vaguely make sense.

Dion

It’s like great. It’s like a no go zone. Is there any patrols or anyone managing that? No, we just say don’t go.

Speaker

And people will not go.

Quinny

Wait a minute. Like if it’s the entire ring of the equator, that’s quite a lot of travel, like space to try and. Manage. Yeah, but I mean.

Dion

There’s not lots of stuff there. A little bit.

Speaker

You know.

Quinny

Like I don’t know how long the equator is, but I imagine that it’s quite mountain.

Jill

And it goes right around the middle of the. World. Yeah, covers land and sea.

Dion

Well, anyway, there’s lots of, you know, research islands and stuff like extra research islands. I also love that it’s like, oh, we have thousands of these islands around the equator. Cool. There’s more research places. I’m like, really.

Speaker

Yeah.

Jill

They gave themselves a problem and they gave themselves a very easy way to solve it.

Quinny

Yeah.

Dion

Yeah, it’s like and. But I looked at this, this island, and I’m like, man, that that looks even more like more technology and infrastructure went into that island than the park. So now I understand, I feel like ohh, that’s why they got out of the park cause they just didn’t give a ****. Whereas in this one, I was like, oh, this feels like it was. It had more money as could you said. To me, yesterday spared no expense, but we didn’t see that in Jurassic Park in the 1st. No, we didn’t see the spared no expense. It felt like it was, but it wasn’t. And now look at this one. I was like, wow, they’ve they’ve done so much more. There’s, like, helipads and geothermal energy and a whole bunch of things in there. But it’s a bit of a cop out.

Quinny

I really like. That that whole thing that the first one, you know, we’ve made a a park and we everybody understands theme park. OK, cool. Second film, it’s like AH, but there’s a site B.

Dion

Yeah.

Quinny

And you’re like, OK, fine by the time you get to 7 ******* films later, it’s like there’s sight 274B/3.

Dion

And that sure research area.

Quinny

Yeah. So what’s so cool about this research?

Dion

Where? Where do we keep over?

Quinny

Area I don’t get. It why? Why? Why should we care?

Jill

It’s the lab where they were doing the genetic experiments, so they were trying to cross breed dinosaurs with DNA. To make more exciting and terrifying dinosaurs, Allah the Dominus racks that we saw in the First Jurassic World. Except I think there were a few failures.

Dion

Yes, it’s where they kept all of the the the ones that went wrong. Yeah. Yeah, they’re like, oh, we cloned one. Ohh. It’s got an extra leg. Well, well, we can’t get rid of it. It costs a lot of money. So we’ll just see what we can get out.

Jill

Little bit.

Dion

But. At the end. Right. Yeah. So like it’s kind of like, oh, you have your, your, your your site B where you raise things that you kind of work because you did standard stuff and then you have your as you said, what was it, the Indominus Rex or whatever which was there. But where did all of the bits that came up to that go? Oh, they were at this other site which specialized in ****** dinosaurs.

Jill

Yeah. Where did the unaborted fetuses go?

Dion

Yeah.

Quinny

OK, right. See there, there is a concept there that I like, if only because one of my favorite bits out of alien for.

Dion

You mean the bit?

Quinny

Where there’s the multiple clones of Ripley that they got. Wrong.

Speaker 7

Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, it’s.

Dion

Yeah, like that, yeah.

Quinny

Yeah, that that kind of horror of like, yeah, we tried multiple times and **** got real messy.

Speaker 7

But father, why?

Dion

Queen.

Quinny

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Dion

But quinnie, I’m sorry in terms of movie making, that’s not going to happen because we only have the models that we could control C Control V and if every model is distinct and individual. That has different limbs or other things we we can’t do that that is too expensive. Plus we have this really great Tyrannosaurus Rex, one that we’re just going to keep using no matter what. We just reskin it. Another one.

Quinny

Yep, control Z control V.

Dion

Yeah, I mean, I’m I’m really into the island of Doctor Moreau. Dinosaur Island too, like, you know, everything is ******. Like if every dinosaur has had some something that was wrong with it in this, I would have been like, this is an interesting thing. Like, if everything like a Tyrannosaurus Rex with really. Really.

Quinny

Moret.

Dion

Tiny legs and huge arms that would be. I would love watching that. UM, but yeah.

Quinny

I would have loved to have seen like the T Rex. That actually still. Had its feathers and they’re like, yeah, this is actually what came out when we genetically did it. But yeah, nobody wanted to see that. And it looked stupid. So we just had to have that on site. ******* 27 B wouldn’t because.

Jill

That would have been. A better deep cut than just putting a school bus that said Creighton High School on it in. The opening thing like.

Dion

Yeah, I.

Jill

Know the taste levels in this film were non active.

Quinny

Sure. I I did see a sequence where they like they were walking into a a what you would call it like a museum. And they were literally dropping the banner of when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. And I was like, **** me.

Dion

The banner.

Quinny

Really, that’s a bit on the nose.

Jill

Quinny, I will tell you, I will tell you now that is not the first time they exactly ripped off the first film.

Quinny

Ohh dear.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah, but. I was written by the same guy who wrote the first film based on the Michael Crichton book. That’s OK, but I do feel. Like. Yeah, it’s a.

Jill

Is it OK to not do anything original that you have to completely lift sequences?

Dion

Bit.

Quinny

Right. Yeah, yeah.

Dion

Maybe he’s just using. ChatGPT to really he’s like, here’s the story outline. Fill it out.

Jill

Remember, remember the the fun kitchen sequence with the velociraptors. You wanna see that again?

Quinny

Yeah, but with a different. Yeah. Excellent. Sweet.

Jill

Cool, you’ve got it. Yeah. Do you wanna see the sequence well?

Speaker 7

Kids.

Jill

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got that done alright. Do you wanna see another sequence where someone’s trying to lead a dinosaur away from a?

Quinny

Wait, OK.

Jill

Group of people with a flair. Yeah, because you got that.

Quinny

Too, I love Jurassic.

Dion

Your thing?

Quinny

Park. Yeah. The first film. Yeah.

Speaker

Yeah, like I mean.

Dion

Sorry, it’s it’s it’s interesting because the ideas that are purported from some of the concepts that presented to us in this. Film I were talking about, you know, interesting, different, distorted kind of things. Like, you know, you’ve got established law like they added amphibian DNA to fill out the chains when they got there. And Can you imagine seeing a Tyrannosaurus Rex or even, you know, some sort of Velociraptor that has a tongue that can fire out? And grab like a frog, like that kind of **** is.

Quinny

I still want the the ******* thing that’s in the book. The the The Lost World Book, the sequel book.

Speaker

Uh. That.

Quinny

Is one of the creepiest bits of the novel that they’ve never adapted to the screen. Probably so.

Dion

Which was that? Tell tell me of that news.

Quinny

So there there’s a bit where they’re they’re they’re running away and that’s much like the Lost world film. They’re running away from dinosaurs and suddenly they’re being chased by Raptors and the Raptors **** ***. And they’re, like, hang on, what the **** makes Raptors turn around and run? No way. And they’re like, well, we’ve gone into something else’s territory. We’re in deep ****. We don’t know what it is, and I think it. I think it was a Spinosaurus or something like that, that they patched some of the DNA of of that with a a. Ohh ****. What are the ones that. You can see through.

Dion

Ohh jellyfish Daniel.

Jill

The cuttlefish.

Quinny

No, no. Like the the little gecko, like a gecko. But what are the ones that change? Chameleon. Chameleon. Yeah. So it was like this perfect chameleon dinosaur and everything was scared ******** of it because they could never see it.

Speaker

Thing.

Jill

Well, they did that with the Indominus. They put the the cuttlefish DNA in the Indominus and it was camouflage.

Dion

Yeah.

Quinny

Ohh I didn’t even remember it being that camouflage. I always think of the Indominus as being kind of just white and dumb looking.

Jill

No, it was camouflage.

Dion

Could also and and change its heat signature. And it was, yeah, like they had a whole bunch of weird ****. And it had Velociraptor. DNA.

Speaker

Yes.

Dion

And it had everything, and it was linked to the child that was made.

Speaker

Yeah.

Quinny

Yeah, that was ******* stupid. OK. So, so yeah. Like it was a cool idea. Yeah. Yeah. That you know something that perfectly camouflaged itself. Yeah. But also is is still a normal looking dinosaur.

Dion

I mean, yeah, look. This film has it all. It has all of the greatest dinosaurs that you wanted to see kind of. I don’t know. They tell you in the film what the ones that they’re going to go for and then they do that they go to the ones that they’re going for. It has, you know, a great person to hate straight away. It’s got a great team of mercenaries who also had.

Quinny

Scarlett Johansson was quite pleasant. I don’t. Know what you’re talking.

Dion

Has a great team of mercenaries that all had distinct personalities and the back story. Yeah, yeah, that was the I was there. I’m like, I’m down for this. This is great. This is gonna be a fun adventure. We’re gonna go to the island and get the things. And I’m like, OK, they got, you know, sluty glasses guy. He was gonna be the person you follow. And then they added a family.

Jill

Yeah. How Red shirt gang.

Dion

For no ******* reason.

Jill

Yeah, that you’ve. Never seen the trailer? There’s just a random. Family got added.

Dion

Yeah. If it’s just like, oh, we need more people now. It’s like, do, do we. We had the team, we had the team which we could grow to love. And then when they got eaten by a dinosaur, we would feel something.

Jill

Yeah.

Dion

In this one, we just get to watch, you know, Ed screen get eaten within the first, like, completely wasted within the first time. Like ohh cool. He’s a military. That was. Yeah, he’s the military guy who’s got the only gun that they seem to have. And then he gets eaten and everyone’s like, cool. So you didn’t pack any other ******* guns.

Jill

Yeah.

Quinny

The. Even though you’re going to an island full of deadly dinosaurs.

Dion

None. And you pack 1 gun. That’s a **** gun anyway. Like.

Speaker 2

I don’t.

Quinny

Understand this. The reason they’re going there is for what? What’s the magnuson?

Jill

OK, so the pharmaceutical Rep wants to get blood samples from dinosaurs that had the largest hearts because that’s going to cure heart disease.

Dion

And they could make a **** ton of money. At least they’re open about that straight away, but then also.

Jill

Yeah, yeah, but it doesn’t work if you only get 1 sample from one large hearted dinosaur, you have to collect three. You have to get the air 1 and the water one and the land one. And together with their powers combined. Will cure heart disease.

Quinny

I’m Captain dinosaur planet. Yeah.

Dion

Exactly. And then if you if you use the fire from a flare.

Quinny

Wow.

Dion

It all goes together and also, you know, hey, let’s just let’s just throw in. Rupert, Friends standing there going and also didn’t your dad die of heart disease? Don’t you want to do something about that? And it’s like what? OK, it’s fine. We’ll just go.

Quinny

And heart.

Jill

Yeah, OK, well, now this is a cause that’s closer.

Dion

Yeah, yeah, it’s closer to. It’s closer to my heart, but like, ohh, holy ****, you already had us with money.

Jill

To my heart. So yeah, that will help.

Dion

Because she was like, that’s real dumb. It’s like, well, here’s a bunch of money. And she’s like, yeah, OK, I can do money. I love money. We’ll do money like that was fine. And then. But, you know, I was on board for that anyway, you know.

Jill

Done.

Dion

I also love how what’s his name? Jonathan Bailey’s Henry Loomis. That paleontologist was like. I’m really conflicted about going. To this island that I’ve been like consulting to this pharmaceutical company about how they can make drug and actually like they like he was the one who came up with like no you have to get it from. The heart of a. Living animal while it’s alive and they have to be the biggest. I came up with this idea. It’s like, OK, we’re going the island to do your idea. He’s like, oh, I don’t know if I can go.

Jill

Yeah, it’s like I’ve just dedicated my life to dinosaurs, and I might have the opportunity to see them in real life, but I don’t.

Dion

I mean.

Jill

Think I could.

Dion

Do it, but I’m slightly morally. Conflicted by it, it’s like.

Speaker

Wait. Really.

Dion

Yeah. Anyway, and then there’s an additional family which is just useless. They add nothing to the plot. Nothing. They’re not there for anything. They’re there for different sequences with different dinosaurs.

Quinny

What are they there for?

Jill

They literally add nothing to any of the context of the plot.

Dion

The mercenary team would have been better off not rescuing them.

Quinny

Right.

Jill

Yeah.

Quinny

So they probably would have been better off too.

Jill

Oh, and the whole family subplot. So it’s not like they were even there for. Fodder.

Dion

The survival rate in the.

Quinny

Ohh ****, I thought this. I thought they were gonna be like, you know, the another red shirt but a red shirt that maybe we’re a little bit more invested in because they’re kids or whatever.

Dion

No. The survival rate in this ******* film is way too high.

Jill

Yeah, out of like, all of the characters, I’m pretty sure it was like 4 that died, tops. And there was, I gotta say, like 10 or 12 characters in the movie that were on the island.

Quinny

Right. OK.

Jill

Yeah.

Dion

There were 11. There were 11 people on that island. I just counted them up quickly in the car. There were 11 people and out of it like 3.

Jill

There you go. You go.

Speaker

And it.

Jill

Was 4, three or four? Yeah.

Dion

Died. 33 died.

Jill

Ohh and it was all in the first like action sequence.

Dion

Well, no there was. There was.

Jill

Ohh wait, no there was one later. Two in the first action secrets and.

Dion

Yeah, there was. There was 2 and then one at the end and yeah. And even someone who did a heroic thing of sacrificing themselves to it, like, you know, to to let everyone get out didn’t die for no explanation. Absolutely no explanation. Yeah.

Jill

Then one later. Yeah, didn’t I?

Dion

You explain how that happened, no? You’re gonna explain where the monster. Where did the Montessori’s go? That was literally going to eat him when you went back to pick him up.

Quinny

And wave it. Away.

Jill

Yeah, they’re not the swords. Like, as terrifying as it was, was very slow.

Dion

No idea. The Montessori was.

Speaker 7

Didn’t move very quickly at.

Quinny

I was going to say you may have to help me a.

Speaker 7

All.

Quinny

Little bit. What’s the Montessori, especially as Jill.

Jill

What the source was like is the Phantom of the opera, so he’s the one that.

Speaker 7

Like.

Jill

Kills the scientists in the lab at the start, but you never really see it until the very end, where it reveals itself. But.

Quinny

Oh, he’s he’s.

Dion

Jill, you came up with the greatest explanation of it. This is the special needs dinosaur. Oh, dear. I’m sorry to say it because say that. Yeah, it is. It is the special needs dinosaur because it’s it’s it looks all ******.

Quinny

You can’t.

Dion

It is all ****** **. Yeah, but it’s also like it just makes it makes decisions in there, which is like, are you OK, buddy? Are you a special little dinosaur? Ooh, shiny thing. You know, kind of like, that’s the kind of level you get it. It’s supposed to be big and scary and kind of weird.

Jill

It’s giving Timmy for himself.

Dion

Then OK, you get that. But like by the end of it, you’re like, you could probably distract this thing with a rock.

Speaker

Like.

Dion

Shiny thing? It’s not hunting anyone in particular, it’s.

Jill

Yeah.

Speaker 7

Just yeah, a laser pointer like a.

Speaker

There.

Dion

Cat. Yeah, yeah, he’s a laser pointer. It should be. Like ohh over. Here. OK, alright. Don’t worry about him. He’s just. A.

Quinny

********. I am looking at the design of it like I’ve found a. Toy of it.

Dion

Right.

Jill

Ohh yeah, they made a toy that was a toy.

Dion

Its official name is Distortus Rex.

Jill

Yeah. That was just because they. Couldn’t call it the R word. Don’t cancel me.

Dion

Restore restores Rex.

Quinny

Yeah. I’m going. I’m just trying to work out why. It has 6 legs.

Jill

Because it’s an abomination. Quitting.

Dion

Why not?

Quinny

Yeah. And a giant alien looking ahead. Actually, you know what it reminds me of doing? It reminds me. Of.

Dion

A duback it reminds me of a. Rancor. What did you call me? Easy. It reminds me of of like a. A a a not quite a right rancor.

Quinny

Ohh yeah, but like the tail of the.

Jill

Rankle from Team who, didn’t we?

Speaker 7

Say.

Quinny

Yeah. Yeah. Rank. God, it does have rankle from Teemo, doesn’t it? Yeah, with a little bit of dew back in there as well. But but dewback with with tiny little dumb **** little baby legs at the front. But then giant *******.

Dion

Got removed.

Jill

Excuse me.

Quinny

Clothes as well. Wow. Yeah, terrible design.

Jill

And it was very slow.

Dion

Yeah. Comparatively, yes. Yes. Casper was asking you.

Speaker

Are.

Quinny

There any other cool dinosaurs in?

Dion

There is there is product placement in this which is also funny. OK, here’s the thing. No, there are not really any cool dinosaurs in this.

Jill

They’re all the stock standard ones that we’ve seen before. There was iguanodons. There was a Tyrannosaurus, there was a.

Dion

Spinosaurus.

Jill

Resource resource source. We saw a really fuzzy blurry shot of a couple of loose wrapped.

Dion

Agodon or whatever they want to call it, Moses areas.

Jill

There’s there’s flexicoil and.

Speaker

Oh oh.

Dion

That, that, that game that gave me the sheets. OK, I need to explain. That one. What? What is in every single?

Speaker

And.

Jill

There was a Ankylosaurus, but it was like for 1/2 little second as they’re like rushing through the jungle I’m like. No. Give me ankylosaurus. What? What?

Quinny

Is the.

Dion

What is the staple dinosaur across all of the other Jurassic Park movies? What is it?

Speaker 7

Yes, velociraptor. Yeah.

Dion

It’s a velociraptor. How dare you in this one? Only show a Velociraptor or two velociraptors out of focus.

Jill

Out of focus.

Dion

Stalking the character you want to die like there’s a character that you want that character to die because it’s just a.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

Person that didn’t need to be in the field, but also you’re like, yeah, get rid of that, that character that that character’s ******. And then it gets killed. Like they get killed off screen like in the kind of. Behind things so you don’t need to see what happens like. They’re not even. In the frame like ohh we we put lots of Raptors in there.

Jill

It was supposed to be a comedy beat, but.

Quinny

Yeah. Anyway, OK, I I will point out that there is a toy of Zora Bennett with the Velociraptor.

Dion

No, no, no, no, no, they’re well, they kind of I I did look it up. They were like a different kind of Velociraptor that had been engineered. And I’m like, no, that’s just a Pelican with no feathers.

Quinny

OK, right. So.

Speaker

You want to be.

Jill

Hold that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was. It looked more like a Pokémon.

Dion

At the end, which was Kinder? Yeah, but you know my favorite dinosaur of this whole movie?

Speaker 2

Wow.

Dion

Merchandising. Dinosaur. That’s right. We’re going to give the little we’re going to give a kid the war merchant door. Yeah, merchant hours.

Jill

Baby Diner Deloris the baby dinosaur.

Dion

Yeah, Mercer hours because ******* rogu the dinosaur. All right. OK. Yeah.

Jill

That’s it.

Dion

Yeah, groger the dinosaur. Who who manages to to to look. It’s almost like Dora the Explorer. Yes, because that’s what it is. The little girl with the backpack is.

Jill

Yes, giving Dora. And boots.

Dion

From from like a Latina background has like adopted. ******* dinosaur. For some reason, even though they’ve been trying to eat her for the whole time, whatever.

Quinny

And and doesn’t. She say early on that she hates dinosaurs. Yeah.

Jill

Well, yeah. She just had a traumatic experience with one, and then all of a sudden, she befriends the baby. 1. Because marketing they.

Dion

I can’t wait for the next one. Jurassic World Re Rebirth, where it’s grown up a little bit and it’s just causing terror around their household because it’s gotten too big. I know, right?

Jill

Yeah, they should get James Gunn to direct that one.

Quinny

I mean, you’ll at least make it fun. Maybe Jill. OK.

Dion

Jill, that’s next week.

Speaker

Look.

Jill

You guys know that I love wanton dinosaur destruction as much as the next, but there was 0 in this movie. This was the most this.

Quinny

And she’s wanting dinosaur destruction.

Jill

Is the biggest. Let down of my life for a Jurassic film.

Quinny

Wow. Yeah, yeah.

Dion

Ohh great it was.

Jill

Not even any of the scenes with dinosaurs were exciting. Was none of them very mediocre?

Dion

I I really liked 1 scene which also did not pay. Off at all. Point of the scene.

Jill

Uh-huh.

Dion

So, and I’ll say because I don’t really feel like it’s not really a spoiler anyway, they they, their boat crashes, they get they have to swim to the beach. The Moses all can’t get in there, but there’s these other like is it Spinosaurus that are like the sail the sail ones yeah I don’t know the ones are the sail Finn on their back they have been kind of swimming around and you know smartly.

Speaker 7

Slide on some things.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

The dinosaur expert goes. Like, don’t stop at the beach. They’re amphibious, like keep moving. He keeps running like everyone else is like, oh, finally, we made it to the beach. There’s no more dinosaurs, and he just keeps running. Going. Nope. Nope. And phebus amphibious, like and keeps running into there. And I like that. And someone kind of takes a beat on the beach. And you’re looking at the back, and it’s kind of rocks.

Speaker

Hmm.

Quinny

Yep.

Dion

Everywhere and stuff. And then suddenly one of those ones rolls over. Because it’s been lying on the beach flat. So you didn’t see this? The big sail, Finn. And it’s terrifying because you realize. Ohh ****. They’re on the beach already and everyone’s just kind of relaxing and like breathing heavy and going. Oh my God, I can’t. And one rolls over and kind of like slides around. And you’re like. Holy ****, that’s gonna get that person that’s right there. And then they take a beat and it doesn’t for some reason. Another one comes from somewhere. Else to do it and. Then they just **** ***. Yeah, like they see a person dying like ohh no, that happened anyway. Alright, that’s very sad. We should go. And it’s like they would be hunting you.

Jill

There were a couple of moments that were giving like ohh this is alien vibes. This would work perfectly if they just let into the horror aspect and then they completely swerve the other direction and.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah, this is.

Jill

Basically, make a really kid friendly film.

Dion

Yeah, there’s there’s no horror in this and I think that’s one. Of. The things Queen you’re saying Camp Cretaceous was a. A good TV show. It feels like they they wanted that audience to come and see and they couldn’t get too scary.

Quinny

Yeah. Well, and the and the stupid thing is in in Camp Cretaceous and chaos theory, they do, you know, have enough actual threat in there like dinosaurs do, eat people and ****. You just don’t see it. Like you don’t see big bodies being munched in half, but.

Jill

That was the beauty of the first one. That was the beauty of Jurassic Park. They’re terrified. 8 year old me, but I still went back to keep watching. I’m like, this is ******* terrifying. Must watch more here.

Quinny

Dinosaur leaping. Sir. Absolutely.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

They don’t. They do. They hate that guy on the toilet, like the lawyer.

Jill

Yes, snapped him up, chewed him, gobbled him.

Quinny

Down. Yeah, exactly.

Jill

Getting electrified on fences.

Dion

As a.

Quinny

Yeah, and and the, the, the.

Jill

Joke ******** your pants in the kitchen. Yeah, yeah.

Quinny

The Raptors were ******* scary because they were smart, yes.

Speaker 7

Jello.

Speaker

Yeah. Give me.

Quinny

That I mean. Come on. There’s a girl.

Dion

This is this is a like Jurassic Park, is it?

Jill

I ohh Dion, did I tell you or did I not tell you that I wanted them to say clever girl in this movie?

Dion

Is it what?

Jill

And it didn’t happen all the.

Dion

Exactly. We’re waiting for regrets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially considering you’ve got a female lead.

Jill

Of all the things.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

Like you know, and.

Jill

Yeah, straight female characters. Yeah, that 41 got eaten, but still.

Dion

Yeah, only it’s it’s one of those. It’s one of those things that I was like. Jurassic Park. The first one is great because you take two kids, you terrorise them with an attack and then the first thing that Ian Malcolm. Sorry. No. Ian. Malcolm. Sam. Meals. Thing is, is also scare them is to make them like.

Speaker 7

Oh yeah, with the color and the.

Dion

No, no, not no, no, the the like the electrified fence. I forgot about that. They’ve just gone through gold.

Jill

Yeah, that’s the first moment he met them. He shows them the the talent and he’s like that. Rip your guts. Out like this?

Dion

No, that was the kid. That was a shift head at the archaeological view.

Quinny

Oh no, I’m pretty. The to the little kid as well, really.

Jill

It doesn’t terrified a kid. Oh.

Dion

Yeah. Ohh yeah, yeah. But like also, I love that like it’s traumatic experience. We should terrorise them a little bit more. I’ll play that joke and then they get terrorized again. Like it is about scaring kids. And this one is not about scaring kids. This one is about making. You know who’s scared in this?

Jill

It wasn’t. There wasn’t even jump scare in this I don’t think.

Dion

No.

Quinny

And yet it’s been very popular and made.

Jill

Why? But why? Why?

Quinny

A lot of.

Speaker

Money.

Quinny

That was my question. That’s my question. Why?

Jill

I think it’s all the people with chat. Deputy brain rot.

Quinny

Who would? Just like yay dinosaur fan?

Dion

It’s it’s, it’s it’s a movie. Like it’s a movie from a pitch deck. It’s like, here’s this action scene. Here’s this action scene. Here’s this action scene. Here’s this action scene. Right. Write it all together for some reason and do it also you. Let’s throw in a message there which I think is Gareth Edwards touch like he’s I feel like Gareth, who’s a good director like I don’t, I don’t think his films are bad. He he wanted to tell a message in it, but he had to do it. In such a. Way, which is like corporations are bad and we should like work together with each other and it just feels ham fisted because he’s been handed a bunch of scenes that he has to put in this movie that don’t make ******* sense. Also, yes again, you mentioned that the other thing quinny the magical blow up boat that seems to be the only thing that can stop dinosaur bites. Yeah. Yeah, because they’re 2 rubbery.

Jill

Completely imperceptible to teeth.

Dion

Yeah. Can’t Pierce a a blow up boat.

Quinny

Oh, we’re OK.

Dion

Which is also done in the stupidness.

Quinny

I’d I’d only read about it and I was like, ohh OK. Magical rubber dingy. Cool, yeah.

Speaker

Sticky.

Dion

Magical rubber, sweet, but also dumb. I mean that whole sequence which was specifically design. Mind for just the T Rex attack was not particularly scary, thrilling or interesting. It was just like they’re gonna get away. Everyone and no one dies.

Quinny

Is is the is the T Rex still even remotely scary?

Jill

No, not in comparison to anything else these days.

Speaker

Yeah.

Quinny

Yeah, right. Because when that. When it first shows up in that first film and you know you don’t see it for a while, it eats a goat off screen and you’re. Like oh ****.

Jill

Yeah.

Quinny

And then it finally shows it up. And it’s this ******* magnificently terrifying thing in the dark.

Jill

Yeah.

Quinny

It was incredible, was there.

Jill

Yeah.

Speaker

That.

Jill

The scariest thing, but like since Jurassic World, he’s just been good guy T Rex. He’s like he’s our pet.

Speaker

Yeah.

Quinny

And that is a problem, isn’t it? Like if you’re now a good guy, we can rely on T Rex to always come through for us.

Jill

Yeah. Again, another slow dinosaur. How how are people in a dinghy outgrowing a Tyrannosaurus Rex?

Dion

Yeah. Or is swimming like, how is a river at both times deep enough for a Tyrannosaurus Rex to swim and then?

Quinny

It’s funny.

Speaker 7

But also the stick. It’s like that Godzilla thing where he’s in the ocean. It’s like his legs go all the way.

Dion

But also to stand in.

Quinny

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7

Down. They can still serve.

Dion

I’ll stand there and go. Oh, no. I’ve been foiled by my one weakness. A small gap in rock.

Quinny

Casper, I think has hit the absolute nail on the head there. Have the solution. We give the Dinos lasers. I also agree that they should have lasers and should have people riding them. I know riders.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah.

Quinny

I mean, it’s not that ******* hard, guys.

Dion

I mean, come on, there are plenty of islands. There’s gotta be some Indigenous tribe there that’s been left with. And also has domesticated them and now is using them to, you know, fight battle. Why not?

Quinny

Yeah, I’m down for that. Yeah.

Dion

Yeah, yeah. I mean the rest of Hollywood is bankrupt, so why not this one? Hi, Amy.

Quinny

I love the fact that they they go into all of the effort of going OK in the previous films. We’ve now set dinosaurs out into the world and the the whole idea of Jurassic World is that yeah, we are now living in a Jurassic.

Dion

It’s the world. Yeah, yeah.

Quinny

World, where there’s dinosaurs and **** like that. And it’s like, yeah, no undo all of that. Take them out of society so that society just doesn’t care about them and we’re going to put them in a small band in the middle of the of the planet.

Dion

Yep, we’ve gone across the world to come all the way back around. No back to islands in the Pacific. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

Cool.

Quinny

Is Scarlett your handsome good.

Jill

She’s adequate.

Dion

You know what I gotta say, all the cast is great because, like they, they are trying very hard. Like they’re all likable. I liked. Wait. OK, let me separate this out. All of the cast from the mercenary side. Like the the you get introduced straight away. They’re all actually quite likable, you know. They’re stereotyped out, so you know who’s who to follow. You know, you got the boat, captain. You got the the mercenary. You got the evil creepy guy. Like it’s very aliens. Easy to follow. It’s like predator. I think I explained that one. It’s like. In the first predator film, by the time they’re on the helicopter going out to the mission, you have identified exactly the difference between all of them and how they work. So yeah, it’s a good way to introduce a cast of different people. Same kind of thing here, here’s all the cast and then they. Had. A boat full of family. That you hate. Like all of them are *****, pretty much or. Bless.

Jill

Yeah, they were pointless, they.

Dion

They’re all.

Jill

Were fine, but they were. Pointless.

Dion

Yeah, fine. But they’re pointless. And then they mix them up. And I was like, this is just irritating and the most irritating thing I think I found about it was after they, their boat crashes, they split them up again to the exact same groups. And that is dumb. Like I mean you presented you, you could have at least given half the mercenaries to the family and half the family to the mercenaries.

Speaker

Hmm.

Jill

If you had mixed them up. Then it’s like, OK, how do we now work with what we’ve got to complete the mission that we have to do, but also get you back safely to get?

Dion

Because the family’s just trying to get off the island and the mercenaries just default back to Ohh well, they’re dead. We’ll.

Speaker 7

And leave the island.

Dion

Just go and get the blood we need.

Jill

Yeah. They’re like, oh, maybe they’ll need us at that helipad that we told. Them about who knows.

Dion

Yeah, yeah.

Jill

And then when they do, they’re like.

Quinny

Oh my God, you made it.

Dion

My God, we never thought we’d see you again.

Speaker 8

Yeah, that’s.

Speaker 7

The grey.

Dion

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Quinny

The Quetzalcoatlus thing, the the big flying one, is there anything called with?

Speaker

What?

Jill

I mean, no, they’re raiding its nest and then it comes back and it eats one of them.

Dion

No.

Speaker

Oh.

Dion

Do you know what was scarier in the previous films?

Jill

Ohh yeah, they’ve wait, but Joe Bailey fell off a Cliff and survived.

Dion

Because everyone survives, you can’t not survive, right? Also getting up the Cliff is hilarious because, like, we have to make it up there by, like, you know, in the next few hours.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

And then they’re just. There. Yeah. Like how how no one can climb that fast. You couldn’t even take an escalator. Fast, but like OK, the the the flying dinosaur like that, the terradon that was in the in the second one. No third one in justified. Well, they went to the Avia and they were like, Oh my God, there’s an aviary. That was scary. And then the eating people off the off the, the the resort in Jurassic World that’s also terrifying. In this one it’s just kind. Of like.

Quinny

Ohh Margarita man being picked up. I love that. It was great.

Dion

Yeah, like all of that kind of stuff. That was this one just kind of felt like ohh no, they got their thing for the thing and now they’ve got their thing, OK. Then they disappear. It’s like, great, now bird is gone and then have to.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

Worry about bird anymore.

Jill

Yeah. Yeah, they’re. Like, oh, so once we complete that mission, how do we get off the island? And Scarjo says, Ohh well, there’s a helicopter that I prepared earlier. It would be here at dusk on the second day and it will hover for two minutes precisely. So we must be there at the appointed time so we can leave.

Dion

Yes. And then leave.

Quinny

Here’s one I.

Dion

Prepared, yeah, exactly 100%.

Jill

Precisely.

Quinny

Yeah. I’m sorry. Just wanna wanna call out something Karina has just said in the chat that there’s a mystery temple that they never explain.

Jill

So they’re like. Yeah, because they’re on some random ******* island where a lab has been set up. But here’s like this main looking temple. That are, you know, aptly named Quetzal cottis’s nesting in and they’re like, oh, yeah, whatever.

Quinny

Oh no worse. Yeah, just and wave that away. Yep. Yeah, cool.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah, it’s. There’s a lot of hand waving this way. Actually, there’s a fun one. I know that we’re. We haven’t even got to like ratings or spoilers. I don’t really care. I don’t. Want to play the clip anymore?

Speaker 7

We’re kind of really spoiling this whole movie right now, but it’s not a particularly good movie, I’m afraid, guys.

Quinny

Yeah, I’m feeling like I didn’t I.

Dion

Didn’t even want to play the clip of the family. No, I really enjoyed the weird threesome that was. That was the unintended.

Jill

Oh yeah, what? Joe Bailey in the ****. Chair.

Speaker 7

yeah

Dion

When they’ve when they’ve finally come across. Yeah, what are they called? They’re like. Big the big they’re not brontosaurus or whatever. They’re gigantosaurus whatever they’re like. They’re kind of cool, but.

Speaker

Gig gig addon Adam.

Dion

Gigaton.

Quinny

Giga Dong, well done.

Jill

We didn’t get sleep, got no pain, there was no diesel pain. It just kind of made out for a bit. Now see it.

Speaker

We.

Dion

We said we supposedly supposed to get to this really beautiful moment where these two gigantic gigantosaurus are titanosaurs or whatever it is are like mating. And they go like, oh, my God, we’ve stumbled onto this field where all these things are and they’re mating and we need to get that.

Jill

Titanosaurus Higdon this course. Oh my God. Wait, wait. Can I just say they’re in a field with absolutely nothing, and then they turn slightly and here are these big **** *** dinosaurs, and then they turn around just a little bit more. And then there’s like 100 of them.

Speaker

Why?

Speaker 8

It is cold.

Dion

Yeah, I mean it plays. It plays exactly into that thing which has been established in the previous ones. It’s like do not go into the long grass. That’s where the velociraptors hunt. And you go in, they’re walking in there like, oh, great. We’re finally getting to the action edit. And it’s just ******* giant ones. It just happened to be there.

Jill

Yeah, there’s nothing. Ohh, this is fantastic. Ohh wait. Hang on. Ohh, look at that big one.

Speaker 7

Another big one. I’ll be right on top of.

Speaker 8

Us. What the?

Dion

It’s. *******. It’s supposed to. Yeah, it’s supposed.

Jill

Thing.

Speaker 7

Wait, what? There’s a hundred more over there? Yeah.

Dion

It’s supposed to be this really beautiful moment for Jonathan Bailey’s character as the paleontologist to go, Oh my God, I’m watching this happen in real life and I can see this, and he gets too close to them and touches them. But it is just the fact that there are these two titanosaurus and they just curl like twist sort of twist their necks like ******* snakes. They just do that.

Jill

Yes, they’re just making it out. They’re making.

Quinny

Out they’re making.

Dion

And he’s and. And he’s putting his hand on it. And I’m like, that is the worst part of the reason right there. There is the awkward guy just trying. To get involved. Well, these two are like, what are you doing?

Speaker 7

Getting in the middle of the.

Jill

Well, just I’m just gonna get scratching here. Oh, no. OK.

Dion

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do I just do an intro or just leave my hand here? Meanwhile, the dinosaur kind of looks down and goes. What are? You doing yes.

Speaker 7

Like is this working for you?

Dion

Stop looking at me.

Quinny

So he’s in the Cockfield exactly.

Dion

Yeah. And then Sky Joe shoots it with a dart for blood for blood and that kind of thing. And that’s how you go.

Jill

And then they’re like. 2 down, one to go.

Dion

I also love how they celebrate every time they get a vial they have they have a they’re like a, a a briefcase full of like, which has space for three vials of blood that that they kind of are using as the as the the progress meter for the game that is this movie. And they all get really excited about harvesting this blood and it’s. Like. You know that you’re the bad guys, right? You’re the bad people. You’re like in Jen from the second movie. You.

Quinny

Know. So is there a point where like and and this is me not having seen it. OK, thank you. Is is there a moment where the the the obviously not great.

Jill

There’s no point.

Speaker 1

There is no point.

Quinny

And the guy at the start turns on them. And of course, OK, just I just just checking. Of course he’s.

Speaker 7

Ohh yes, very early. Very early in the movie.

Dion

He’s established as a complete **** **** the very start, like when.

Quinny

He kind of books them just like that.

Dion

When they’re in, when they’re in the the the water. But like, you know, and then of course he finds.

Speaker 7

Yeah, they’re like.

Jill

No, you’re not a good dude. But we’re just gonna. Look over here.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we you have money and we do that. And then eventually, of course, he makes.

Jill

Until the moment when they’re like. I think we can get rid of this. Guy, if we just do nothing.

Dion

Yeah. Yeah. And then you’re. You’re right, Kenny. He he does. Carter Burke himself. He he tries to escape him. Leave them all for dead while he tries to get away. And that’s the Carter Burke, you know, right. Not even a satisfying death for him. Just a boring death.

Jill

Yeah. It’s not getting eaten on a toilet.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

That’s for sure. No, it is not. And anyway, they all get out and they live happily ever after in only to time to come back now and.

Jill

And we never find out what they did with the.

Quinny

Samples. Ohh really. Nope.

Dion

They kind of say what they plan on doing.

Speaker 7

Jay, just leave the island and that’s it.

Dion

But they don’t say what. There’s no post thing that’s kind of like M we should agree to do this. Yeah, maybe end of film. Ohh alright.

Speaker 7

Yeah.

Dion

Sure.

Quinny

Should we have a clip? And then do our ratings? Do you want to do it the? Other way around I don’t get. I didn’t wanna I.

Speaker 7

Whatever works.

Dion

Don’t even wanna play the clip. It’s so dull.

Quinny

Oh.

Dion

Because it’s just the family.

Quinny

Oh, OK.

Dion

No, **** it. I’ll just play the.

Quinny

Clip and the the clip I want to I. On. Want to? I want to see the clip.

Speaker 7

What happened, Dad, where is?

Speaker

He I don’t. Know.

Speaker 8

I’ll go back down. I’ll keep looking.

Speaker 2

Speaker 8

Right.

Speaker 2

What?

Speaker 3

Come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 7

Are you?

Dion

Ohh thank God they all live and no one dies and there are no consequences for anyone in this whatsoever.

Jill

Yeah.

Dion

Yeah, yeah, yes, I know. Karina. How was he? Out. Swim. The mosa saw. We don’t answer these questions. We just watched the films.

Jill

How were they able to outrun a Tyrannosaurus? How was Kincaid able to outrun the? Montessori’s.

Dion

Rex, why was the mosasaur in the open ocean? Also hunting slash, swimming around with the the with the.

Jill

Spinosaurus that we’re in. The middle of nowhere.

Dion

In the middle of nowhere and those just, they just disappear.

Jill

In the middle of nowhere, an amphibious dinosaur was in the middle of the Atlantic helping a mosasaur hunt. Yep. And then where did it go?

Speaker

Yes.

Dion

They just ****** off. We don’t know. Why?

Jill

Where did it go?

Dion

And then, sorry and then?

Jill

We’re doing spoilers right now, yeah.

Dion

And then and then wait.

Quinny

Right and pretty, Kanga says I have to ask is?

Jill

It really called the Montessori. No, it’s just a really monted looking dinosaur.

Dion

No, we just call it the Montessori. Exactly.

Quinny

Like Distorters Rex, but let’s go with yeah, yeah.

Dion

That’s what we say, like, not Billy and the connoisseurs, Billy and the Montours. The the other thing is that that mosasaur like knocks the boat over that they’re on because it’s it’s whatever, ******* territorial. Who cares. And then right after that. Scene where it kind of just misses the guy getting on the boat. Then it just goes. No, pull it. Now go **** ***. Yeah, and it just ***** off like.

Jill

Yeah.

Dion

But it wouldn’t. What? Why? You know.

Jill

This was the stuff that was missing. If they had completely trashed the boat and eaten the family. Would have loved it.

Dion

Fine. Yeah, it could have just been nameless family gone because also as they said it, it just ***** off and then they pick the people up and then the Moses source decides actually, no, the the other boat, that’s the power boat full of mercenaries. That’s the one I’m going to buck up and run aground onto the island. You’re like, wait, it it it could easily funked up a a A. Sailboat, but it knew it had stuff on, and yet it decided to take on the heavily armoured boat.

Jill

Catamaran.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

No good reason.

Quinny

I’m in one of the artworks for this that that like also just want to put it out there the the the art, the thing that first indicated to me that perhaps this movie was a bit **** is that all of the posters and everything that I could find looked like the worst *******.

Speaker

Yes.

Quinny

Photoshop jobs that I’ve ever seen. Like it, it’s pictures of like clearly CGI body with its gullet. Your Hansen’s face just kind of pasted onto it halfway up a Cliff or something like that. Not footage, not shots, anything like that. And there is a design in one of them that I went. The **** is that? It has a beaky kind of face, but it looks a bit like a Raptor.

Jill

Yeah, that’s the new kitchen. Dinosaur. Except we’re doing it in a convenience store, but it’s the exact same secret.

Dion

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the the convenient. The convenient dinosaur.

Jill

Yeah, that’s the Pokémon looking one.

Dion

Yeah, that’s the.

Quinny

Right.

Dion

One is like if you took a. Pelican and you took all the feathers off it. Yeah, kind of.

Jill

Thing it’s a little bit flying. It’s a little bit water tight, but.

Dion

It it’s I I called it the goiter dinosaur because it’s got the big kind of flopped up neck that it kind of does, but it’s just it’s just dull.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

Right. It does. Yeah, it has no problem. Like there’s there’s no real reason to do it.

Quinny

Dion

It was just there to be like, oh, this is scarier than a Raptor is like, is it because it’s not? You could have just had a Raptor.

Quinny

Right. OK.

Dion

You could have you could you could have made a Raptor with the plates of a stegosaurus. Or imagine you’re a Raptor with the the the horns with horns like you could have done. Yeah. Yeah, you’re ******* with genetics and stuff too. That ****. Make a Raptor with horns so it could impale people.

Quinny

Like a tricera wrapped. Yeah, or.

Dion

That would be ******* scary.

Quinny

Or what?

Jill

How come when I’m trying to think of that that one?

Quinny

Looked like and I get an anklyosaurus. What? What’s the ones that the the head butting ones they? Ankles, horses or.

Jill

No, that’s the. The.

Dion

I think it’s a goto asaurus.

Quinny

I’ll wait for you.

Jill

Was in the last one. He was in Dominion. I can’t remember.

Quinny

Yeah, yeah, I I know. Karina will be able to say Pachycephalosaurus. Yeah, yeah. You know, get a *****. But give that, like, a crown of thorns of of horns or something like that, you know, go for something really ******* out there and mutant and weird. And I’ll be like, OK.

Speaker

Hey.

Speaker 7

Sure.

Quinny

Cool. It sounds like we’re not not weird enough.

Dion

Yeah, I I feel like they’re like, oh, we’re going to do the island of meat and dinosaurs. It’s like, cool. So we don’t really have models that we can do that with because they cost more money. So where do you want to focus on? Is that do we have to keep the other cast of the family with the boat in? Right? It’s like, no, can we get rid of them? No, they have to stay. No, weird dinosaurs. Just use the dinosaurs you already got. It’s it’s a. It’s a bit, yeah. It’s weird, right? So ratings.

Quinny

Yeah, I was gonna say drop some numbers at me like and and if you’ve seen it in the chat, which I know Karina has. You know, drop some of that with with a number after it, so I know what’s gone on.

Dion

25-O Jesus just ******.

Speaker

Wow.

Dion

It’s it’s annoying on both sides. It it? It neuters the dinosaurs and their effectiveness and their scariness, and it also neuters the really good cast you had. And the smart things you could have done and the director, I feel. I feel like everyone kind of. Got. Castrated by this, for whatever reason, I don’t understand why I didn’t like it that much, and I would probably no, I can’t really defend. I’m thinking of things to defend about it. Like oh, that’s why I call. I walked out and I said. It’s Jurassic Park, stillbirth.

Quinny

Yeah.

Dion

Cannot recommend.

Quinny

Jill, have you got a number for me?

Jill

Yeah, it was. It’s it’s been.

Speaker 7

Gradually getting lower, I think.

Quinny

A little.

Speaker 7

I’m going to give 40.

Jill

404040 because the dinosaurs were still pretty and the scenery was nice.

Quinny

It was all in focus.

Speaker 7

In focus.

Jill

They had our our. Trope characters as they should be, but unfortunately there was just no charisma. It was all very bland and mediocre, and none of the dinosaur scenes were exciting. And if you’re going to make a dinosaur? Movie. And put it in the Jurassic series it. Better be *******.

Dion

Good. Look, I gotta say I looked at it and was like, based on some of the concept art that you had to look around and some of those scenes that they, they kind of replicated like, you know, like the Montessori’s with the flair being all lit and red and the scientists. You know, in trapped in in the cage with it that it kind of pulls. Up because he. Can’t get out. It’s really an interesting and slightly terrifying movie. And then what came out of it is just like ohh well, this is a kind of waste of everyone’s time and talent. Which is sad. That’s what. That’s what it may. It’s so low because it’s so disappointing. Hmm. Yeah, well, enjoy quinnie.

Quinny

Now I’m. Yeah, definitely torn as to whether I’m gonna go and. Watch.

Dion

That and I mean. Watch it to get angry with it.

Quinny

I’ve you know what? I’ve watched things to do just that. So you know.

Speaker 1

Sure.

Dion

Yeah, I mean, like, if you’re gonna.

Quinny

The Street Fighter movie coming out so.

Dion

Watch it. When it comes out like. On home video for release and you eventually get around to seeing it. You could. Definitely to screen it. Yeah, you could get off and make dinner in the middle of it and be like what’s happened.

Quinny

Ryan.

Dion

OK, fine.

Quinny

OK, I’m done with that. Well, OK, that’s that’s disappointing, but not particularly shocking.

Dion

Slightly slightly disappointing cause it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the summer blockbuster releases.

Quinny

Well, you know well.

Dion

What are we doing next week, Quinny?

Quinny

We are, funnily enough, as many of you will have seen, that we did go to the premiere screening of Superman last night, which was very exciting and they had lots of super things and they’re I did like that all of the ushers were wearing. Types. Yeah, I thought that was cute. Yeah.

Speaker 7

But we saw crypto.

Quinny

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Jill

When you got to pack crypto.

Quinny

Yeah. Like so to to explain crypto in the movie is very CGI. So yes, there there is no actual crypto apart from the fact that it’s based on James Gunn’s real dog.

Speaker

Ohh.

Quinny

Who is apparently that much of A ****.

Speaker 7

It’s getting snowy buds.

Quinny

Yeah.

Jill

Looks like snowy.

Quinny

Yes, very, very tin tin slash snowy slash. Yeah. How was the good doggo? Good. Doggo was great. Good. Doggo was being very well behaved and being very careful with its very, very attentive trainer because there were hundreds of people wanting to get photos with good doggo. And then I I patted good dogger and I was the one who found out where the script was. So like he was sitting there being very, very proper and stuff like that, I started scratching his head, just started to turn. He’s like. I was like, you’re a Scott him. I consider that a win.

Dion

Well done, quinney. That’s very nice.

Quinny

Yes, we couldn’t give a **** about the rest of the film or whatever. It was pizza or whatever.

Dion

No.

Quinny

I don’t care. But to make the dog happy. That’s all I care about.

Dion

There were a lot of very excited people seeing the wanting to definitely get a hold of the James Gunn version of Superman and you know I I I think there’ll be a lot of people going to see it this week and we shall be talking about it all next week. Tuesday are we doing Tuesday? Yes, Wednesday. That’s right, yeah.

Jill

Yeah, no. Wednesday, Because we’re going to.

Dion

Go do Wednesday again.

Quinny

Ohh **** is.

Dion

That Tuesday, is it, yes.

Speaker

Yeah.

Quinny

Oh ****, I thought that. Was. Monday. Did you look at the schedule?

Speaker

No.

Quinny

Though.

Dion

Jesus.

Quinny

You know, I never look at the schedule.

Dion

You’re just. You’re just talent around here, aren’t. You quinny.

Jill

Gonna show up at the SCG on Monday and.

Speaker 7

Say, where is everyone?

Quinny

Where’s Wrexham? Wrexham. Foxholm. Oh Jesus.

Dion

Yeah, join us next Wednesday. Same special time, same bat channel where hopefully some of you will have seen the Superman movie and we can compare notes and.

Quinny

Discuss. Yes, the it’s going to be an interesting conversation of this, I am certain. And I have a funny feeling there may be some dissent in the ranks. And if you’re listening to ABC Radio drive earlier tonight, you can find out exactly what I thought about it, because I already told them.

Dion

Yes you did.

Quinny

Yes, yes. Yeah. But you know, it was fun. I enjoy talking to people about superhero.

Dion

****, yeah. And then we’ve still got on the cards for the week after that. What is it? The old guard, too, which I haven’t got around to seeing yet. But it is available on Netflix. You can go and see that it should rent us out before we get into. Other things like Fantastic Four and other ****. That’s happening for August. How is it August already?

Quinny

Say that when people you know what you were saying earlier today, we are now closer to 2050 than we are to 2000.

Speaker

Yeah.

Dion

Yeah, yeah. Officially passed the. The thing.

Jill

Only by 9 days, but who’s counting?

Quinny

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dion

Door in 2. In a few years, the 80s will be 50. Years ago.

Jill

Stop aging me.

Dion

I’ve drunk from the wrong cup and Indiana Jones.

Quinny

Ah. He chose poorly.

Dion

We all do. That, no, we’re still young and hip. We know what it’s like and we’ll tell you because their opinions are very much in tune with the youth.

Speaker

Here.

Quinny

Has everybody caught up on on murderbot?

Speaker 7

Yeah.

Dion

Yes, no. Yes. Damn.

Speaker

Sorry.

Jill

Friday’s the final.

Quinny

OK, because I wasn’t sure like I watched the last one and I was like, is that where it ends? Holy ****. That’s a dark ending. OK, I’m glad there’s another episode. I’m much more calm about that now.

Dion

Don’t spoil it for me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that’s OK. I haven’t seen anything else. Ohh wait, it doesn’t foundation Season 3 start this week.

Quinny

Oh yeah, you, you and your old man sci-fi.

Speaker 2

Tuck off.

Quinny

Pretty kanga, yes, we’re not watching long way home that was, that was enjoyable. That was very gentle. You know, you and McGregor, Charlie Borman just tootling around. Scandinavian countries on motorbikes. I’m very pleasant.

Dion

I’m yeah, I’m. I’m getting across that. I I think I’ve watched 3 episodes.

Quinny

Episodes. Yeah, like it’s one of those things where, like, the first three of them, they were lovely and they’re always challenges. And it’s like they’ve clearly gone this time. We don’t want challenges. We just want to have nice experiences.

Dion

Yes, although I did notice that in this one there’s not a lot of focus on ewens’s old family and more focus on his new family.

Speaker

Oop. Yeah.

Quinny

Well, I mean, I can kind of understand it because in one of those series, you know the the the ex-wife was clearly a, a a challenging thing for that particular series. There was a long way up without coming up through Africa, no, it was long way down. Sorry, we’re going down to the bottom of Africa. Yeah, there were. There were clearly some tensions there. So I’m guessing they’re going this is much easier, but also. You know, it’s entertaining. I’ve I’ve finished watching that too. That was nice. My Friday night comfort watch.

Dion

OK, everyone.

Quinny

Well, thanks for joining.

Dion

Us. Yes. Yeah. Thanks for joining us and we will see you all next week.

Quinny

Yes, OK.

Dion

I’ll give you the greatest dono screen that I can, but I’m all out of box for this movie.

Speaker

Quinny

Ohh no.

Dion

Maybe 7 is the magic number. How many times can you go back to the well the 7th? Is maybe. Not so. Can’t wait to see 8. The reboot. Yep.

Quinny

Yeah.

Dion

Do the rebirth all right? We better go. Thanks everyone. Thanks for joining us. We’ll see you next Wednesday.

Quinny

See you next Wednesday next Wednesday.

Speaker 2

Bye bye.

32 episodes

#Cinema #Periodic Table Of Awesome