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Ep59 Instigating Change: When You Want Others to Transform
Manage episode 486018942 series 3513969
Have you ever wished you could change your partner, family member, friend, or colleague? Dr. Dar Hawks challenges the common belief that "you can't change other people" by revealing a powerful truth: when you transform yourself, those around you often change in response.
Forget about direct confrontation, ultimatums, or demands - these approaches typically trigger resistance and defensiveness. Instead, Dr. Dar introduces an indirect, influential method that works through what she calls "relationship electromagnetics" - the invisible forces governing our interactions. By changing your own behaviors, communication style, and the energy you bring to conversations, you create profound shifts without ever directly asking others to change.
This transformative approach requires understanding that people react not only to who you are now, but to their memory of who you've been. Dr. Dar explains why consistency and patience are crucial as you break established patterns and create space for new perceptions to take root. Through compelling examples - from improving emotional intelligence to adopting healthier habits - she demonstrates how personal growth naturally inspires those around you to evolve alongside you.
The episode delves into the impact of trauma on our capacity for change, the challenges of sustaining transformation, and the difference between trying to change someone's personality versus their behaviors. Dr. Dar offers practical questions to recalibrate your internal state before difficult conversations and shares strategies for creating environments where change feels like an invitation rather than an imposition.
Ready to become the catalyst for positive transformation in your relationships? Take the relationship needs quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and discover how your personal growth can create ripple effects that change your entire relational landscape.
Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.
Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.
Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, secondary, and shadow Primary Relationship Needs by visiting https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship, and even improve communication and connection between you and your partner.
Note: The quiz name has changed from Sovereign Relationship Needs to Primary Relationship Needs as of July 2024. Please keep that in mind for podcasts dated before July 2024.
Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com
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Chapters
1. Can You Change Another Person? (00:00:00)
2. Indirect Approach to Creating Change (00:07:29)
3. Energy and Electromagnetics in Relationships (00:14:20)
4. Understanding What Change Is (00:28:23)
5. Self-Change That Influences Others (00:35:08)
6. Challenges of Sustaining Change (00:45:32)
7. Direct vs Indirect Influence (00:51:44)
59 episodes
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