I grew up with constant fighting. Now I shut down during conflict. How can I work through this?
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What do you do when your body goes into shutdown mode during relationship conflict—especially when you want to do better but feel frozen in the moment?
In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who struggles to stay engaged during difficult conversations with his girlfriend: shutting down, freezing, and going blank under stress.
Angela explores: • Why your nervous system may interpret conflict as danger • How the “freeze” response is a trauma-based form of protection • What it means to expand your “window of tolerance” in relationships • How to work with your body instead of against it • The power of taking pauses, communicating your capacity, and returning to hard conversations • Why avoiding conflict keeps you stuck—and how to build confidence over time
If you’ve ever shut down in the middle of an argument and felt ashamed or overwhelmed, this episode offers grounded, compassionate insight into how to stay present, communicate better, and grow emotional resilience in your relationship.
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✫ Because love after trauma takes a different kind of wisdom—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
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