We're so grateful this week to be joined by Kate Lynch. Kate is a somatic mindfulness coach dedicated to creating a kinder, more inclusive future for all families. Since 2002, she has supported thousands of parents around the world with mindfulness, self-compassion, and somatic movement, helping them avoid burnout while raising their neurodivergent children.

Kate shares some really valuable insights and practical advice that we hope will resonate with you.

Biography

Kate Lynch (she/her) is a somatic mindfulness coach on a mission to create a kinder, more inclusive future. Since 2002, she has supported thousands of parents internationally with mindfulness, self-compassion, and somatic movement, so they can enjoy raising their neurodivergent kids and avoid parental burnout. She facilitates Parent Support Groups for Extreme Kids and Parent Clubs for Good Inside. Kate is author of the upcoming book, Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents: The joys and struggles of raising neurodivergent kids. She has been featured in ADDitude Magazine, Mutha Magazine, Autism Parenting Magazine, and more. Her little neurodiverse family lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Key Takeaways

Understanding Somatic Mindfulness: Somatic mindfulness focuses on the mind-body connection, emphasising self-care and emotional regulation through body awareness.

The Impact of Parenting on Children: Parents' emotional states, such as anxiety or stress, can significantly affect their neurodivergent children, highlighting the importance of parental self-regulation.

Mindfulness Practices for Parents: Simple mindfulness techniques, such as feeling the soles of your feet on the ground, can be integrated into daily routines to support emotional well-being.

Community Support: Connecting with other parents is invaluable. Sharing experiences and advice can empower you and provide essential resources.

Advocacy and Navigating Educational Systems: Understanding your rights and advocating for your child’s needs in educational settings is crucial, as parents often face systemic challenges.

The Role of the Vagus Nerve: The vagus nerve plays a vital role in regulating stress responses and emotional states, influencing how we react to situations.

The Therapeutic Nature of Activities: Engaging in activities like surfing or working with animals can be therapeutic for neurodivergent children, providing joy and confidence.

Connect with Kate Lynch

Email: [email protected]

Substack: https://katelynch.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfregulatedparent

Kate's offer

Mindful Meltdown Cheat Sheet:

4 quick and simple mindfulness tools just for parents of neurodivergent kids

4 meltdown essentials based on core values.

https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown

or 1 month trial membership: https://katelynch.substack.com/month

Connect with The Autism Mums

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Transcript

Natalie Tealdi:

Hi, it's Natalie. Unfortunately, I was unable to be in today's interview, but before we begin, I wanted to take a moment to introduce our brilliant guest.

Victoria Bennion:

That's right! Today, I'm thrilled to welcome Kate Lynch. Kate is a somatic mindfulness coach dedicated to creating a kinder, more inclusive future for all families. Since 2002, she has supported thousands of parents around the world with mindfulness, self-compassion, and somatic movement, helping them avoid burnout while raising their neurodivergent children.

Natalie Tealdi:

If you've ever felt overwhelmed or uncertain on your parenting journey, this episode could really help you. Kate has some really practical advice that could be easily implemented into your daily life.

So, let’s hand over to Victoria and Kate!

Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Hello and

welcome to the podcast, Kate. It's great to have you here today.

Kate Lynch: Thanks. It's so great to be here, Victoria.

Victoria Bennion: So you are a somatic mindfulness coach, I

believe. Did I say that right?

Kate Lynch: You said it perfectly. And the reason I use the big

word somatic, which a lot of people ask what that means, it just

means of the body. I've been a yoga teacher for over 20 years, and

these days, a lot of times people don't understand, they really take

that as like a kind of a gym exercise teacher.

And what I do is much more

about the mind body connection about self-care and specifically

serving parents who are really struggling with how to even begin to

focus on themselves. They may be neurodivergent themselves or just

really struggling with this unexpected change of having a child with

a neurodivergent brain.

What I was doing before when I

first [00:01:00] started teaching is

very, very different from what I'm doing now and it's more

therapeutic. So that's why I use that. That word somatic mindfulness

coach. 'cause it's not just about staying in your head, it is really

about bringing it into our body so our nervous system can help us

regulate our emotions.

Victoria Bennion: I have heard the term before, but I wasn't sure

of what it meant, so thank you very much for explaining that.

So how did your work evolve

into focusing on helping parents?

Kate Lynch: I was a yoga teacher for about 10 years, and then I

had my son, I have one. It was pretty late in life and we struggled

with fertility, so I felt very prepared. I had been teaching prenatal

yoga and parent baby yoga for a really long time, had my son and

things were really different than I expected.

He was. Someone who had a lot

of needs very early on. We [00:02:00]

didn't know about colic, but it kind of felt like that. And then he

had a lot of needs but not a need for sleep. And I had him at 41. I

had a very hard time that first year because I did not sleep more

than two hours at a stretch.

Victoria

Bennion: I can

relate to that.

Kate

Lynch: yeah, I know that her parents can't

and it, it nearly broke me. It

really felt that way. So I sat my husband down after one year and I

said, let's make absolutely sure that we don't have another child.

One. And done couldn't. I didn't know if I could survive it. So

raising ocean has been a little like raising two or three kids, I

think. And our family feels very complete now.

So bringing it back around to

my career. I really put it on autopilot. It took the first six months

to just be with him, and then I would take him to my classes and, my

career was on autopilot for a while when my [00:03:00]

son was younger, because luckily I had been doing the job for a long

time. I could just drop him off and teach a class and pick him up

and. It all worked out pretty well.

We would raise home for naps

and I was really trying to keep him on a routine because I found

that, routine really helped him.

And then parents started

asking me, parents of neurodivergent kids started to find me and ask

me advice. And I had been a trusted family educator for a while as a

prenatal and postpartum yoga teacher, and it just felt like the most

natural next thing to do to start teaching parents how to use

mindfulness and how I had gone from feeling nearly broken to

remembering some of my very basic mindfulness techniques.

I distilled them into small

drops that I could use while I was with my [00:04:00]

son, not separately, not having to check out for hours at a time to

go do yoga in another room, because that just wasn't possible. So my

meditation and my mindfulness and my. Body-based practices became

part of our rituals, our routines, our life, and that is what kept me

afloat those first couple of years, was just really relying on those

little tiny practices, like even feeling the soles of your feet on

the floor.

Very simple little things like

that. So that evolved. I'm also a writer and that evolved into

writing a book and beginning to work with parents in the community

and one-on-one.

Victoria

Bennion: Can you

tell me

a little bit about your book?

Kate

Lynch: 2019 there was a call from this autism publisher

if. Anyone had any ideas for books and I just wrote them a simple

paragraph back.

I knew [00:05:00]

nothing about writing books, but I'm like, Hey, I'm a mom. I'm also,

a mindfulness teacher, yoga teacher, this idea that might help

parents of 32nd to three minute they can weave in throughout their

day. And they said, that sounds great. Write us a proposal.

Then I had to figure out how

to write a proposal and then. I wrote the three years because COVID

made it harder for parents. I mean, in my case, it certainly did to

any time to myself. My son was in school, but he wasn't in school

during COVID at all. We were, we live in Brooklyn.

It was very much a lockdown

situation for most of that time. When he went to bed, I would write

for 10 minutes at least every night I wrote this book. I turned in

the book on the deadline. Two weeks later, the publisher called me up

and said, we're going outta business.

So I have this book that I

feel, really needs to get out into the world.

I spent two years with the

book proposal. And then she sent [00:06:00]

it to a couple of publishers, you know what they said? They said, we

don't think parents of atypical kids have time to read. I said, yeah,

you're probably right. But this book, because it is specifically for

them and there isn't that much for us out there really like.

I'd say 90% of parenting books

are very prescriptive, or the stories about parenting, raising

autistic kids can be almost depressing, rather than giving a

strategy. So this combines my struggle Strategies and with the joys

that we share as well as to evolve and get better at

Victoria

Bennion: oh, fantastic.

Well, let me know when it's

out 'cause I'm very interested to read it. 'cause there, as you say,

there isn't that much. There's that caters for parents doing it

slightly

different way.

Kate

Lynch: so I did start this blog on [00:07:00]

Substack, because I wanted to get the work that I'm doing out into

the community in a way that's really bite-sized, available free. So

that's the extension of the book and the kind of accessible way

Victoria

Bennion: You

know what I would say? To the

publisher who said, we don't think these parents have time to read. I

don't think that's right I have quite a long score drive for my son.

That his school is not nearby, which is fairly common, I think, for

specialist schools. So you, it's a great time to listen to audio

books. And then another way that I would read, as he was saying,

might be. Bite size, but would be on my Kindle lap. So if I was

sitting with my son at nighttime I could read on that. So I disagree

with them. So you can tell

them that.

Kate

Lynch: Thank you. I said, that's why there's such a good

opportunity to have audiobooks, to have a workbook [00:08:00]

that we could publish alongside it, where you just flip to a page

when you need a certain thing, when you're feeling really mad and you

need to do something to help you regulate your nervous system so you

can be present or when I don't know what you in. The uk when you

have, we call it an IEP meeting, when you go into the school and you

advocate for your child and you come up with a plan.

Victoria

Bennion: Our equivalent is an EHCP here,

Kate

Lynch: Okay, so

Victoria

Bennion: which the

government are trying

to get rid

Kate

Lynch: Oh no.

Victoria

Bennion: Yeah. Yep. They wonder, they're looking to reform

the system at the moment. But it's very worrying because it looks

like what they're gonna do is just take away parents' rights, with

the process to get your children what they need?

I'm not sure about your

system, but ours seems to be very broken under a lot of financial

pressure and so they're looking at ways, essentially, I think that

they can save money. I'm suspicious that they're not looking at how

they can improve it, but just make cuts. 'cause these children are

costing them a [00:09:00] lot of

money.

Kate

Lynch: Yeah, I have so much to say about that. And of

course, you know, here in the US there's, mean, we could have a whole

podcast that. I'm a strong advocate for early intervention and

special being well funded and fully funding public schools because

these children are growing up, whether they like it or not.

And we wanna give them every

opportunity to flourish, to thrive, because their unique ideas may be

what help this planet survived?

Victoria

Bennion: I agree with you.

Kate

Lynch: And I'm not saying every single autistic child is

going to, change the world, but coming together and knowing how to

work with others and all of these little skills that our children can

learn, and they're as hard for our kids as they can be, but they are

incredibly essential.

At this time, these are skills

that employers are looking for. And there are so many places now

[00:10:00] that are looking for autistic

minds looking to hire them because our kids do think differently. And

if they get early intervention, they can thrive to the extent that

their brains are able to. It's incredibly shortsighted of that

education and that support and hiding it from parents. I had to learn

from other parents what was available, what my rights were, what my

son's rights were. 'cause it's really not, available.

It's not out there. It's

hidden.

Victoria

Bennion: no, absolutely. That's exactly the same here. I

learned from other parents as well. It wasn't until my son started

struggling with trying to go into school that I realized there were

other parents also struggling. With their children and getting them

into school. And it was them who gave me the advice and next steps.

I said it before, but there's

no roadmap. Once your child isn't fitting that mold and following

that path and has the struggles, there's nobody to [00:11:00]

says to you, this is what you need to do. Do they to be official?

Kate

Lynch: Exactly. So, and there have been kind educators

along the way who said, get this evaluation, tell them this, tell

them that, give them the full picture. You know? to them as well. But

those parents, yeah, I don't know what I would've done without the

other parents that I met along the way.

Victoria

Bennion: No, me neither.

Kate

Lynch: So to bring it back full circle, Going into an IEP

meeting, I would often be extremely nervous. I would cry during the

meeting. know, all of those things. And I think it's perfectly

natural and understandable because we literally have to live with the

outcomes of these meetings, we're the only ones who are gonna live

with whatever happens long term.

So we're more invested and

when we care that much, we're going to have stress. It's just natural

to have stress so if we have a strategy or something to do right

before going into a meeting like that, [00:12:00]

to not only help relieve our stress, but also empower us to feel just

as important as everyone else in the room, I think it's really

valuable.

Victoria

Bennion: I think so too. Those meetings, they can feel

really intimidating, and you feel that pressure to do the best by

your child and Obviously the fate of your child, but what's gonna

happen to your child? It feels like it's in other people's hands at

these meetings.

So it's really stressful. I've

struggled a that, with, being in that situation and yet wanting to be

calm and zen and yet, as you say, you just can't avoid feeling that

stress. So if there are some tools that you can take in to help, I

think that's

fantastic.

Kate

Lynch: Yeah, so you wanna do one right now?

Victoria

Bennion: Yeah.

Kate

Lynch: make yourself as big as possible. You don't have to

stand up, but just spread your arms and make yourself as big as

possible. And we're going to make bear claws and stick at our tongues

and roar. Are you ready? You're gonna do it with me, right? Okay. So

breathe in.[00:13:00]

Ah, yeah, two more

times.

Kate

Lynch: Yeah, let's do it one more time. One more...