In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re diving into the reality of summer holidays when your autistic child thrives on school routine. Natalie shares how her son, who has been doing brilliantly during term time, has found the transition to the long break unexpectedly tough - from meltdowns and aggressive behaviours to disrupted sleep during a melatonin break. We talk about pacing activities, managing sensory needs, and finding that fine balance between structure and rest.

Key Takeaways

How losing the school routine can trigger heightened anxiety and challenging behaviours and why this is so common for autistic children.

How disrupted sleep, including during a melatonin break, can ripple through the day and impact mood, patience, and coping ability.

How favourite activities and special interests like metal detecting, magnet fishing, and trampoline time can help regulate emotions.

Pacing social interaction and physical activity to avoid sensory overload or burnout during the holidays.

How visual tools like Google Maps and travel timers can reduce anxiety during car journeys and transitions.

Managing expectations around events and invitations from saying 'no' to busy festivals to choosing carefully between activities that may or may not be accessible.

How preparation can help make big days out go more smoothly.

Mentioned in This Episode

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Today, we're talking about something that so many parents of autistic children

will understand, and that's why the summer holidays can feel like the hardest

part of the year. We're gonna talk about what's been going on in our homes this

summer, from unexpected meltdowns to sleep struggles, and the ripple effect of

losing that familiar school routine.

Victoria Bennion:

We'll be sharing our real life [00:01:00]

stories, the strategies that have helped, and the moments that have truly

tested us. If you are navigating the ups and downs of the school holidays, you

are absolutely not alone. We are right here in it with you.

Natalie Tealdi: One

thing that's come up for us is our son has been coping so well. During term

time, so well at school, absolutely loving school. He's been doing so well and

it's been quite surprising how tricky he's finding the holidays.

Natalie Tealdi: It's

always a time of year that he struggles with, but he's gone from being able to

cope quite well when he's stressed to. Not coping so well and we're seeing

aggressive behaviors again, which we haven't seen for months. So it is taken me

by surprise a little bit.

Victoria Bennion:

What's he reacting to? What do you think is causing him the problem?

Natalie Tealdi: It's

being out of his routine. He just wants to be at school all the time. He likes

it. , He just feels comfortable there. That's his routine. That's [00:02:00] what we do Monday to Friday, and because

we're out of that, it's upsetting for him.

Victoria Bennion:

What do the summers look like in terms of structure?

Natalie Tealdi: We

haven't got a lot of structure. It can vary because some days he needs a lot of

rest. In the mornings he can be quite tired. We're going through a melatonin

break at the moment, so sleep is becoming difficult. He's not going to sleep

till really late now because he hasn't got anything to help him.

Victoria Bennion: Can

you talk about why you're having a melatonin break while we're on that?

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

so that was recommended by his pediatrician because we were noticing it wasn't

having such an effect anymore, which isn't apparently your, body gets used to

it, so. You do need to take breaks now and again for, for it to become

effective again. So we were at that point where bedtime was taking a long time

anyway, so we needed to have the break really, but now they're taking even

longer.

Natalie Tealdi: So he

is not really going to bed until we go to bed, which [00:03:00]

is really quite late. So he's more tired.

Victoria Bennion:

There'll be a lot of parents in the same position as you. I mean, we will be in

a couple of weeks. With the melatonin break, it's the most natural time to try

to do that if it's something that your child takes regularly. And we are

definitely gonna be planning a melatonin break as well.

Victoria Bennion: But

I'm gonna wait until I'm having a week where I'm not working because. I'm still

needed usually to sit there till he goes to sleep and I can't work early. I

usually get up quite early to get my work done so that I can take the

afternoons or a lot of the afternoons with the children in the holidays.

Victoria Bennion: I

want it to be the week that I don't have to get up early if I take that stress

off. But as you say, it adds to their sleep deprivation.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

Victoria Bennion: So

what kind of things have you been doing with your son?

Natalie Tealdi: We

have to sort of gauge it. We are doing his special interests. So he likes to

metal detect, he likes to see magnet fishing, he likes water sports, like

paddle boarding, [00:04:00] kayaking.

Natalie Tealdi: So we

are doing all those sorts of things, but we're having to really gauge what he

can cope with during the day. Sometimes it's one activity. Sometimes he wants

to be doing activities all day and all night. He's gone back to so. It used to

be a daily routine of having pillow fights. When he feels hyper, he likes to

have a pillow fight.

Natalie Tealdi: It

helps him to regulate and calm down. And we've gone back to that, which can be

quite exhausting for us as the parents 'cause he needs someone to do it with. ,

He's on the trampoline an awful lot again. That needs a lot of supervision

'cause his sister likes to go on with him, but sometimes it, he can get a bit

too overexcited.

Natalie Tealdi: So it

needs a lot of monitoring.

Victoria Bennion:

It's good that he's got those outlets.

Natalie Tealdi: Oh,

definitely. Yeah. I mean he's, it's nothing like it was two years ago, don't

get me wrong. But it's just, it's just that he was doing so well. I thought

actually generally he was coping. Quite well overall, but it, [00:05:00] it's the holidays that we struggle with.

And I've noticed also, so we do have play dates with friends, but I think the

age that we're getting to now is some of his friends go off for play dates

without their parents there.

Natalie Tealdi: A

play date with my son? Requires parents to be present I definitely have to be

there. So I think we're at that stage where perhaps we are not gonna be the

first choice because other parents have a bit more flexibility and a bit more

freedom. Now there

Natalie Tealdi: kids

are getting older.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, so they have maybe friends over and then they're working or doing other

things, whereas it's entertaining you. It's, it's their time I suppose. It gets

tricky, doesn't it?

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Natalie Tealdi: We've

looked into activities before and he is booked on a couple, just two, I think

in August. But again, we have to be very careful with that because he will

refuse to go to them. We have to choose really [00:06:00]

carefully.

Natalie Tealdi: And

it could be we get to the day on the ones that I've booked and paid for, that

he can't cope and will not go. It's a gamble every time. So even though, you

know. You can find send related activities, it's not necessarily gonna be

something that we can attend.

Victoria Bennion: I

think that the holidays do bring challenges and we've had family down, which my

son is so pleased about. He really looks forward to seeing them. However,

yesterday for example, they've got two dogs. We've got a dog. They have a lot

of bark in. The dogs weren't so pleased to see each other and those noise

levels.

Victoria Bennion: He

went up to his room, his safe space after a short while 'cause the noise was

just too much for him. So it's a lot of juggling. And then like you, we need to

pace out that interaction, what's required. Luckily again, the family members

of very understanding, very accepting. So we just have to make sure that he has

a lot of downtime

Victoria Bennion:

without having to engage with people. And [00:07:00]

then, so for example, today we're going to meet up with them at three o'clock,

but he's had the morning to just relax from yesterday to recharge. Managing

those energy levels, I think is, is what I find. I have to allow enough time.

As I think I've said before, I can be very like, go, go, go.

Victoria Bennion:

We're gonna do this, we're gonna do this. And I have to build in the time. And

actually, it's been working quite well so far with managing those things. But

we avoid doing a lot of. Busy events, , things that that might be taking place.

So we've just adjusted.

Victoria Bennion: But

I think you make those adjustments naturally, don't you, as to what your child

can cope with. And we just. Don't do it. So one of the things we were talking

about was going to a festival that's on. , And that was an absolute hard no and

I knew it would be. I always like to give him the opportunity.

Victoria Bennion: ,

I'm quite proud of him for being able to say, no, he just wouldn't be able to

access it in any way, shape, or form.

Victoria Bennion: So

it's accepting that it looks different, but I think over [00:08:00] time you automatically filter those things

to an extent anyway, and know that they're not gonna work.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

Victoria Bennion: I

do know that there are a lot of parents, , in your situation too, who are

definitely dealing with, real heightened emotions and more challenging

behaviors, and that's really hard.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

and I think it's, it's just being mindful of, things like haircuts that, you

know, are often a, a little bit of a struggle. Now that we're in the summer

holidays and he's struggling, anyway, those things are gonna be more of a big

deal. So I'm now thinking through, well, what else have we got coming up that I

can take away?

Natalie Tealdi:

Because they can just wait those things.

Victoria Bennion:

Because sometimes you think, oh, we've got all this free time in the summer

holidays. We'll book the haircut, we'll go to the dentist. And all those things

are really challenging for our children. So whilst time-wise it might be,, a

good idea, it might not be if they're already really struggling, really [00:09:00] heightened.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

that's right.

Victoria Bennion: I

was talking to one of my friends and I think that there can be that sense that

you are not doing a good job and that you're failing at this.

Victoria Bennion: And

that can't be overestimated, really. It can feel very upsetting if your child's

really struggling in the holidays and you don't know how to help. Because the

thing that would help a lot is this routine that's just, that's been taken

away. You've said before, but it would be good if there was an option where, I

don't know if you could continue.

Natalie Tealdi: I

know just like a reduced school or something that's just like a couple of hours

in the morning. So there's that summer holiday. Schedule so it can flip from a

school schedule to a summer holiday schedule. And it is something that I

thought, , is that something that I can implement myself?

Natalie Tealdi: But

I, I don't think anything would really satisfy that, rather, other than it

would have to look very similar to how his school looks.

Victoria Bennion: You

have managed a quite a successful trip to Pepper Pig world.

Natalie Tealdi: [00:10:00] Yes. So those sorts of days are always. A

bit nerve wracking 'cause you think, oh, are they gonna go well or are they

not? But we put in as much preparation as we possibly could. This was a day

planned for our daughter's birthday, so we had been planning it for a while and

my son was aware of the plans and actually he was quite excited about it.

Natalie Tealdi: We

showed him some of the rides he had been before, so he had some memories of

going there about five years ago and. We did all the usual stuff, packed all

the fidget toys and plenty of snacks and all of that we're, we have a blue

badge, so that was really handy. We were able to park really close to the

entrance , so,, at the end of the day when we come back, you don't have a big

long walk to the car, so that's a bonus.

Natalie Tealdi: But

actually it went really well. He absolutely loved it. They both did, but we

were there the whole day and I, I really didn't think they were gonna last that

long. And I was. [00:11:00] You know, prepared

to be going home early. But no, we were there when it opened until it closed.

But then the shock came when we got in the car 'cause it did not cope in the

car at all.

Natalie Tealdi: We

had aggressive behaviors in the car on the way home. There was a lot of trying

to manage that. I did have all the distraction techniques I usually have in, in

the bag, but they weren't working unfortunately. But we did get through it.

Luckily we don't live too far away.

Victoria Bennion: How

did you get through it? Does he just eventually calm down?

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

So snacks, iPad, he got cross with the iPad though., We put an audiobook on. I

think that was the thing that actually was the distraction in the end was the

audiobook.

Victoria Bennion:

what do you think had been the trigger? Was it leaving the park? Was it the

transition?

Natalie Tealdi: I

think it was the transition from having such a good time at the park and now

we're going home and he doesn't like sitting in the car and it was gonna be,

you [00:12:00] know, an hour, just over an

hour. It's that boredom. He just instantly wants to be home. Now it's done on

the way there. It's not so bad. 'cause you're looking forward to going, aren't

you?

Natalie Tealdi: But

on the way home. Yeah, we just wanna be home now.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, that makes sense. We all need those like beam me up, Scotty Badges.

Natalie Tealdi: Oh

yeah, that would be so good,

Natalie Tealdi: so on

the way Home snacks were a good one. And the audio book, I also put a timer on

my phone. So this is quite a new thing. So with Google Maps, I do the route

home so he can see the timer.

Natalie Tealdi: He'll

often ask me how long till we get home, how long till we get home. So now

instead of me trying to estimate it in my head, I can show him in real time and

that's helpful.

Victoria Bennion: We

always have the maps up too. Always. My son is always looking at them, to the

extent that he will say to me, you'll be quicker if you go left. And

Natalie Tealdi: Oh my

Natalie Tealdi:

goodness.

Victoria Bennion: the

maps work far better than me. And, oh, look, there's an accident coming up. [00:13:00] It's red there, it's orange there.

Victoria Bennion: But

that's really helpful visual tool. , My phone will connect in the car, so it's

just up there. It really helps manage that where he needs to know how long. And

it's right there, isn't it?

Natalie Tealdi: My

daughter quite enjoys it too. She thinks our address is the blue dot.

Victoria Bennion:

that that.

Natalie Tealdi: I

know. I didn't know what she was talking about. Mommy, we live at the blue dot.

What?

Victoria Bennion:

Brilliant.

Thanks so much for joining us for today's conversation. We hope that by opening

up about our challenges and wins, you've perhaps picked up an idea or two that

you might be able to try, however it's going. Remember, you're doing an

incredible...