Fellow referees, let’s be brutally honest about what’s happening to us.

You know the routine. Another weekend, another match where you’ll be screamed at, questioned, insulted and quite possibly threatened. You’ll drive home alone, replaying every decision, wondering if you made the right calls, and asking yourself why you put up with this treatment for what amounts to pocket change and a genuine love of the game.

If you’re listening to this, chances are you’re struggling. Maybe you’re having trouble sleeping before matches, feeling your stomach churn as you drive to the pitch/ground, or finding yourself snapping at family members after particularly hostile games. Perhaps you’ve started avoiding certain fixtures, questioning every decision you make, or seriously considering hanging up your whistle for good.

Here’s what I want you to understand from the very beginning: your distress is not a personal failing. It’s a rational response to an irrational situation.