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What's the real cost of being "nice" in a world that demands it? Amira Barger joins us for a transformative conversation about breaking free from the harmful constraints of niceness to embrace what she calls "nerve" – the courage to speak truth, set boundaries, and challenge broken systems.
Amira shares a powerful childhood story that perfectly illustrates the communication disconnects we experience daily. She introduces the matching principle, explaining how misaligned conversation types (practical, emotional, and social) create friction in our interactions. This framework sets the stage for understanding why niceness, though seemingly harmless, actually taxes our humanity, dignity, and voice.
The heart of our discussion explores practical tools for developing nerve without sacrificing kindness. Amira's creative journal exercise offers a simple yet profound method for perspective-shifting and challenging "sacred cows" – those untouchable rules, leaders, and habits we're taught never to question. This intentional pause creates space for reimagining how we communicate and operate in the world.
We dive deep into the nuances of self-presentation, where Amira offers a refreshing alternative to "authenticity" with her concept of the "chosen" or "aligned" self. This strategic approach acknowledges that not all spaces equally reward authenticity while still honoring our core values and boundaries. It's about claiming autonomy over how we show up rather than contorting ourselves to meet others' expectations.
For anyone who's ever felt the weight of playing nice at their own expense, this episode offers liberation and practical guidance. Amira's forthcoming book (releasing October 28, 2025) promises to expand on these concepts with relatable stories and actionable strategies for practicing nerve in everyday life.
https://amirabarger.com/

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Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.
Pamela Cass is a licensed broker with Kentwood Real Estate
Natalie Davis is a licensed broker with Keller Williams Realty Downtown, LLC