Season 6 Episode 17: From Boys to Men: Dr. Kate Fitz-Gibbon on Coercion, Misidentification & Real Prevention

Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel

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13d ago 1:11:24

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A clear map beats chaos when lives are at stake. We sit down with Dr. Kate Fitz-Gibbon to draw a sharper line between “losing control” in life and being coercively controlled by a partner, and we keep children at the center where they belong. Through careful research and straight talk, we unpack why men’s and women’s experiences of intimate partner abuse often look different in impact, fear, and loss of liberty—and how that difference should guide courts, police, and service providers in mapping patterns and identifying who is the victim and who is the perpetrator.
We dive into male self-reports of coercive control, exploring cases that include humiliation, verbal abuse, and financial restriction, as well as accounts driven by entitlement to control over partners or children. Then we widen the lens: Pattern mapping across time exposes the primary aggressor more reliably than incident-by-incident thinking, prevents misidentification under new coercive control laws, and creates a direct line to child safety by holding domestic abusers, prevalently fathers, accountable as parents. If you work in child protection, probation, or family courts, you’ll hear practical ways to separate counter-allegations from documentable behavioral patterns.
The stakes rise when we talk about boys. Australian national data shows high rates of childhood maltreatment among both girls and boys, with domestic abuse often at the center. When boys’ trauma goes unrecognized or untreated, the risk of later violence, school disengagement, and mental health crises increases. We argue for prevention efforts that help boys navigate rejection, loss of control, consent, and emotional vulnerability—while unlearning coercive patterns used to manage relationships and life stress. This must be paired with services truly designed for children. Add culture change that dismantles the “man box,” and you begin to connect the dots between men’s health, family safety, and the prevention of future homicides.

Listen for a practical, compassionate framework that respects male victims, safeguards women and children, and helps systems stop guessing at who is the victim and who is the perpetrator. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a colleague who needs a better map, and leave a review with one insight you’ll use this week.

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Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence.
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Chapters

1. Welcome And Land Acknowledgements (00:00:00)

2. Guest Introduction And Origin Story (00:05:25)

3. Legal System Failures And Femicide Cases (00:10:30)

4. Studying Male Self-Reported Victims (00:18:01)

5. Loss Of Control vs Coercive Control (00:24:31)

6. Misidentification And New Laws (00:31:01)

7. Pattern Mapping And Primary Aggressors (00:36:41)

8. Children’s Exposure And Perpetrator Fathering (00:42:31)

9. Boys, Help-Seeking, And The Man Box (00:48:31)

10. Youth Justice, Accountability, And Repair (00:54:31)

11. Men’s Health, Violence, And Prevention (01:00:31)

12. Culture Change And Healthy Relationship Norms (01:06:31)

13. Scale Of Harm And System Reform (01:11:31)

115 episodes

#Society #Parenting #Relationship #Politics #Kids And Family #News #Ruth Stearns Mandel & David Mandel #David Mandel #Ruth Stearns Mandel #Abuse #Domestic Violence #Child Abuse #Coercive Control #Trauma #Systems #Consent #Sexual Abuse #Allie