Season 3 Episode 7: Understanding and Validating Survivors' Acts of Resistance

Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel

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3+ y ago 49:49

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Too often, conversations about domestic violence define survivors as "passive trauma survivors" with the emphasis on the negative mental health and addiction consequences of the perpetrators' patterns of behavior. And while these impacts are real, they only tell part of the story.

On a daily basis, survivors engage in small and large acts of resistance to coercive control and domestic violence. Based on their knowledge of the perpetrator, their assessment of the system, and available support, survivors engage in targeted strategic actions that are important to their own safety and the safety and well-being of their children. Not just passive recipients of abuse, survivors actively use a variety of behaviors to carve out physical and emotional "safe zones"—a term coined by Dr. Evan Stark, author of Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life. These acts of resistance can include:

Lying the the perpetrator
Defending their children from abuse
Fighting back physically
Standing up for what they and their children need
Ways to defy the perpetrators' rules
Places in the survivor's mind where she fantasizes about freedom or retreats to when he is abusing her

In this episode, Ruth and David discuss:

How these acts of resistance are often decontextualized from the perpetrators' pattern
Survivors' acts of resistance, particularly survivors from Black, Indigenous, and other marginalized communities, are often criminalized
The importance of professionals recognizing these acts of resistance as part of the process of partnering with survivors and avoiding "failure to protect" practice

David and Ruth also showcase the audio from a video produced by Orana House, a refuge in Western Australia, called "Warrior Women" that showcases survivors' acts of resistance. Watch the video.

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Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence.
Visit the Safe & Together Institute website.
Start taking Safe & Together Institute courses.
Check out Safe & Together Institute upcoming events.

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