NTM 504: Don’t Rush the Finish—Mastering the Art of Holding Tension

Nourishing the Mother

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7M ago 27:27

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You know that guy—the one who gets so caught up in his own urgency that he blows the whole thing in two seconds, leaving you unsatisfied and wondering, was that it?
That’s what most of us do with tension. We can’t stand the discomfort, so we rush to resolve, fix, smooth it over, tie it up in a neat little bow—just to make the tension go away.
But what if you didn’t?
What if you could hold that charge—let it build, let it move, let it breathe—without caving to the part of you that needs closure, completion, resolution?
What if, instead of fumbling for the quick release, you learned how to lean back into the tension, dissolve the intensity in your body, and channel it into something deeper, richer, more magnetic?
So if you’re ready to stop rushing the resolution and start stretching your capacity for deeper, richer, more connected experiences—this one’s for you.
In this episode, we’re unpacking:
•The primal urge to finish—why it’s wired into us and how to rewire for something way more satisfying.
•The good girl/good boy conditioning that has us believing peacekeeping and problem-solving is the key to connection (spoiler: it’s not).
•The difference between a clumsy, premature emotional ejaculation and the art of holding—of allowing tension to build in a way that makes space for real connection.
•Why some men only want to hear things from other men, and how that plays into your frustration when you’re “not being kind.”
•The skill of not jumping in—whether it’s your partner’s mood, your child’s meltdown, or a friend’s drama—and instead, keeping your side of the street clean and boundaried.
•How to stop making tension the enemy and start making it your ally—because mastery isn’t about getting rid of the tension, it’s about knowing what to do with it.
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