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What happens when divorce stops being a private rupture and becomes a public war? We sit down with Lisa Johnson—co-founder of Been There Got Out, high-conflict divorce strategist, and certified domestic violence advocate—to unpack the real mechanics of legal abuse, coercive control, and the quiet power of strategic communication that stands up in court. Lisa shares how her own journey—from a shocking double life reveal to 100+ court appearances across two states—culminated in a rare pro se victory published as state case law, along with testimony that helped pass coercive control legislation.
Across a fast-moving, story-rich conversation, we map the signs your separation may turn high conflict: anger that never cools, untreated mental health or addiction, discovery obstruction, and the “what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is mine” mentality. We break down financial abuse tactics that hide in plain sight and show how to build a support team that actually works: an attorney for legal rights, a trauma-informed therapist for healing, and a strategist to translate chaos into evidence the court will take seriously. You’ll learn Lisa’s framework for writing every message to the “invisible audience” of judges and evaluators so you present as the most child-focused, reliable parent while documenting patterns over time.
We also tackle the toughest terrain—kids. Lisa explains loyalty conflicts, the realities behind parental alienation, and practical steps to protect attachment without feeding conflict. Expect concrete tools, from communication templates to record-keeping habits, plus fresh hope: many orders are modifiable, and a marathon mindset can turn setbacks into stronger motions later. Along the way, we highlight resources from Been There Got Out, including books, courses, and a weekly legal abuse support group that brings men and women together to share tactics and regain stability.
If you’re navigating a high-conflict split, this conversation offers clarity, language, and a plan. Please share with someone who needs it.

You can find Lisa at https://beentheregotout.com/

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