🎙️ Welcome to Healthy Happy Wise Wealthy (HHWW)! In this insightful episode, host Mary Meyer welcomes back Kara Stoltenberg for a vulnerable and enlightening conversation about supporting loved ones through challenging times—while honoring your own boundaries and wellbeing. Drawing from personal experiences with physical, mental, and emotional struggles, Mary and Kara dive deep into what it means to "hold space" for others, the importance of professional support, and how genuine connections can be both healing and complex. Whether you're supporting a struggling friend, navigating family addiction, or seeking connection yourself, this episode offers heartfelt guidance and practical wisdom for fostering healthy relationships.

🌟 Topics Covered:

• Balancing personal boundaries and supporting loved ones in crisis
• The distinction between professional help and personal support
• Supporting individuals with addiction and recognizing your limits
• Understanding grief and helplessness in the face of family struggles
• The necessity of professional and community resources (like Al-Anon)
• Reciprocity and balance in friendships and relationships
• Setting and communicating healthy boundaries
• The importance of connection, especially when experiencing loneliness
• Recognizing and avoiding “leaky vessel” dynamics
• Navigating narcissistic or imbalanced relationships
• The evolving journey of healing for both self and others

Key takeaways:

• You cannot—and should not—take more responsibility for someone’s healing than they are willing to take for themselves. Balance your care for others with care for your own mental and emotional resources.
• Professional help is essential in certain situations. Friends and family can offer support, but are not substitutes for trained professionals, especially in cases like addiction.
• Boundaries are acts of care—for you and for others. Clearly communicate your limits and honor them with compassion.
• Relationships thrive in give-and-take. If you notice a consistent lack of reciprocity, reflect and adjust accordingly.
• Connection is the antidote to loneliness, but building meaningful relationships requires time, effort, and openness.
• Even small gestures—like a check-in text or sharing a meme—can have a big impact for someone going through hardship.
• Sometimes you must grieve the loss of what you hoped someone could be, especially when dealing with loved ones in cycles of self-destruction.
• Using your voice to set boundaries may feel uncomfortable, but it is a skill that can be developed and is crucial for healthy connections.

Some questions I ask:

• How do you decide when to hold space for someone versus when to set a boundary?
• What can you do when a loved one struggles with addiction and you feel helpless?
• How can we support friends or family going through tough times without sacrificing our own wellbeing?
• What do you look for to gauge whether someone is taking steps to help themselves?
• When is it time to involve professionals (counselors, support groups) versus relying on personal support?
• What advice do you give to people feeling lonely or disconnected after multiple moves or life changes?
• How do you recognize and exit unhealthy or predatory relationship dynamics?

Learn more about our guest:

• Instagram: @karastoltenberg
• Website: karastoltenberg.com
• Contact Form: Available via her website for coaching inquiries

Resources Mentioned & Recommended:

• Al-Anon: https://al-anon.org (support for those affected by others’ alcoholism)
• 12-Step Programs (for addiction and family support)
• Voice-note Apps (for staying in touch: e.g., WhatsApp, Voxer, Marco Polo)
• Books/podcasts on boundaries, relationships, and healing (no specific titles mentioned but encouraged seeking supportive resources online)

YouTube Chapters: 00:00 Introduction & Episode Purpose
02:17 Boundaries vs. Holding Space
07:47 Navigating Addiction in Family & Friends
13:00 Building and Maintaining Connections
19:44 Reciprocity and Recognizing Leaky Vessels
25:23 Setting Boundaries: Scripts and Strategies
32:09 Healing Takes Time—Giving Yourself Grace
39:15 The Power of Small Gestures & Ongoing Support
43:02 Connect with Kara & Final Thoughts

Top 8 Hashtags: #HealthyHappyWiseWealthy
#BoundariesMatter
#HoldSpace
#RelationshipAdvice
#EmotionalHealth
#MentalHealthSupport
#PersonalDevelopment
#SelfCareJourney

💬 Whether you’re a seasoned support-giver, someone seeking connection, or healing from your own challenges, this episode will leave you empowered and more compassionate—towards yourself as much as others.
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