#196: What if the peace you’re protecting is actually performance? We go straight at the cost of staying quiet—how it starts in childhood, mutates into hyper-independence, and shows up as “I’m fine” until it explodes. Along the way, we unpack why so many of us can hold firm at work yet struggle to speak up in the relationships that matter most, and we offer compassionate ways to trade avoidance for clarity without lighting everything on fire.
We break down the moment before a hard conversation—racing heart, tense shoulders, runaway scenarios—and show how silence fuels resentment and self-doubt. You’ll hear candid stories about naming hurt with family, practicing tone and timing, and redefining confrontation as a bid for understanding rather than a guaranteed fight. We talk about the illusions we protect by staying quiet, the fear of finding out who someone truly is, and the hard truth that if honesty ends a bond, it was running on borrowed time.
You’ll leave with practical scripts and mindset tools: start in safe spaces, use simple “When X, I felt Y, I need Z” language, slow your pace, and allow time for repair. We also dig into the overthinker’s loop—how missing information breeds stories—and offer a grounding line to stop narrative spirals. If your voice has been on mute, this is your gentle push to choose discomfort now over distress later, to speak honestly even when your hands shake, and to trust that what’s meant for you won’t require you to be less than yourself.
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