Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools ...
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Robyn Gobbel Podcasts
Robyn Gobbel is a writer, trainer, speaker, and educator dedicated to understanding why humans behave the way they behave.
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Welcome to 'The Unteachables Podcast', your go-to resource for practical classroom management strategies and teacher support. I’m your host, Claire English, a passionate secondary teacher and leader turned teacher mentor and author of 'It's Never Just About the Behaviour: A Holistic Approach to Classroom Behaviour Management.' I'm on a mission to help educators like you transform your classrooms, build confidence, and feel empowered. Why am I here? Not too long ago, I was overwhelmed by low- ...
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From babyhood to school age, through the teenage years and ultimately adulthood, Adoption: The Long View explores all aspects of the adoption journey with a variety of articulate and thought-provoking guests.
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EP 240: Window of Tolerance- What it Is and How to Grow It
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33:08Sometimes, your kids can handle frustration or disappointment with ease, and other times the exact same challenge sends them into meltdown mode. This can feel really baffling! Why are they so inconsistent? Well, part of that difference comes down to their window of stress tolerance. In this episode, you’ll learn What the window of stress tolerance …
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#143: 5 powerful (and doable) ways to support ADHD students. October is ADHD Awareness Month!
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21:09By Claire English
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EP 239: When Your Words and Feelings Don’t Match
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45:14By Robyn Gobbel
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#142: My English teacher saved my life (and she will never know it). The episode you need to hear if you've ever doubted your impact.
25:23
25:23
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25:23This episode is personal. Raw. Vulnerable. And honestly… one of the most important stories I’ve ever shared. So if you’re a teacher who’s ever doubted the impact you’re having, especially with those students who seem like they couldn’t care less? This one’s for you. Today, I’m taking you back to my own high school days. Not the shiny, well-behaved …
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EP 238: Happy Birthday RKBBB- and a gift for you!
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42:52
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42:52Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors turned TWO! 🥳 So, we’re having a party right here on the podcast. Parties have gifts, so I’m offering three “gifts” for you- a little help around three behaviors that are still SO BAFFLING! In this episode, you’ll learn: Why regression (aka “acting like a toddler”) is actually a sign of your child’s nervous …
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#141: Tired of blank stares and the same 5 hands up? Here's how to get whole-class engagement (WITHOUT relying on cold-calling)
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23:41This tiny tweak could change your whole classroom vibe. If you’ve ever found yourself gripping onto those five students who always put their hands up while the rest of the class stares blankly out the window—or worse, starts low-key mutinies—you are NOT alone. In this episode, I’m giving you a front seat to a game-changing shift I made in how I ask…
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{REPLAY} Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It?
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46:35Understanding behavior helps us actually solve the problem, leads to compassion, and actually helps behavior to change, but first we must understand why we are so afraid that understanding behaviors means we are excusing "bad" behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: The difference between understanding behavior and excusing behavior Why understan…
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EP 237: Connection: A Biological Imperative (for parents)
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44:51
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44:51Parents aren’t the only ones providing co-regulation — we need it too. In fact, connection is a biological imperative for every nervous system, including yours. When you’re raising kids with big, baffling behaviors, the imbalance in reciprocity can be exhausting, isolating, and even grief-inducing. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to do this al…
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#140: If you've ever been told (or felt) you need to "be stricter" for classroom management success - listen to this.
20:02
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20:02We’re busting a big ol’ classroom management myth in this episode: that being kind, compassionate, and empathetic means you’re “too soft” to manage behaviour effectively. Because I’m seeing it everywhere right now - especially from all the beautiful new teachers joining me inside The Behaviour Club - this feeling of, “Am I doing it wrong?” “Am I to…
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EP 236: Rewriting the Nervous System Story
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40:53Your child’s behavior isn’t telling you the whole story. Their behavior is telling you just the story their nervous system is writing in that moment. This week, let’s continue my deep dive into my conversation with Deb Dana (episode 233), exploring how polyvagal theory offers us the hope of rewriting the nervous system story. We’re going to talk ab…
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#139: The exit routine your class [and you] desperately needs
15:26
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15:26Let’s talk about the part of the lesson where the wheels often fall off — the final five minutes. You know the one. The bell's about to go, some students are packing up early, others are zoning out, and you’re standing at the door doing your best nightclub bouncer impression. 🚪🕺 In this final episode of the Kickstart series, we're talking exit rout…
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EP 235: Parenting in Chronic Protection Mode
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32:00Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems often means that parents and caregivers are living in a state of chronic chaos and danger. Even if the behaviors aren’t ‘that bad,’ it’s dysregulating to live with someone in chronic protection mode. In this episode, I take a closer look at how polyvagal theory helps us understand the nervous system’s …
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#138: Brain breaks that secretly boost behaviour (and help us reclaim a bit of teaching joy in the classroom)
22:47
22:47
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22:47Ever feel like your class is one brain snap away from absolute chaos… or just asleep at the wheel? In this episode, I’m giving you a front seat to one of the most powerful — and wildly underused — classroom management tools in your toolbox: brain breaks. But not just for the sake of fun. We’re talking strategic, rapport-building, energy-resetting m…
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EP 234: Polyvagal Theory, Hope, Dysregulation, and Repair
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30:42What if dysregulation isn’t the problem? I know I know- that’s really hard to wrap our brain around! At least, it was for me. In this episode, I continue the conversation from last week’s interview with Deb Dana and take a deeper dive into one of her most powerful insights: that dysregulation is simply part of being human—and it’s the absence of re…
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#137: Feel like you need to split into 30 trying to support the whole room? This tool changes everything.
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19:54
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19:54The task strategy that will change your classroom (even if you’re running on fumes) Ever feel like the second you set your students off on a task, it’s like you’ve got to split into ten different versions of yourself? In this episode, I’m walking you through one of my favourite practical strategies of all time — the humble task card — and showing y…
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#136: The entry routine that is magic for low-level disruption! The power of learning maps
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18:33Join the Kickstart: https://www.the-unteachables.com/kickstart If your lessons feel like a sprint uphill from the very first bell... kids trickling in, backpacks still on, everyone chatting while you’re already repeating yourself, then friend, you don’t have an entry routine problem. You have an entry routine opportunity. This is part two of the Be…
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EP 233: Polyvagal Theory as a Path to Hope: Regulation, Repair, and Connection with guest Deb Dana
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58:38
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EP 232: Swearing- What it Means and How to Respond
48:20
48:20
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48:20By Robyn Gobbel
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#135: Is your teaching presence undermining your classroom management?
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21:11Why Your Presence Might Be Undermining Your Classroom Management (And How to Fix It) Ever felt like you're being too nice... or not taken seriously enough in your classroom? Like you're walking a tightrope between being warm and relatable and being respected as the leader of the room? Whew—yeah. Been there. That’s exactly what today’s episode is al…
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EP 231: EMDR with Kids with Attachment Trauma with Deb Wesselmann
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56:29
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56:29I’m so excited to introduce you to someone who has deeply influenced my work- Deb Wesselmann! Deb is a pioneer in integrating EMDR therapy with family therapy for children with early attachment trauma. In this episode, we chat about how Deb (and her colleagues) developed her attachment-focused EMDR model, why slow bilateral stimulation is so effect…
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#134: Bullying in the classroom?! 😖 How to talk to your students about it in a way that gets them listening, empathising, and creating change!
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18:24Ever had a student yell "I'M BEING BULLIED!" when their friend won’t let them borrow a pencil? Meanwhile, real, insidious bullying is flying under the radar? HEAD TO THE BLOG HERE FOR ACTIVITIES + MORE 😁 In this episode, I’m giving you a front seat to the three-part framework I use to help students identify what actually counts as bullying, how to …
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Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) isn’t about being overly sensitive. It’s about a nervous system that experiences rejection as danger. In this episode, I explore RSD through the lens of relational neuroscience, attachment, memory, and regulation. Whether you see this in yourself or your child, this episode will help you understand why rejectio…
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#133: Flipping your lid! The concept that changed everything about the way I responded to students in the middle of a meltdown.
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17:48What’s actually happening when your student flips their lid? And more importantly… what should you be doing when it happens? HEAD TO THE BLOG HERE FOR VISUALS + MORE 😁 In this episode, I’m giving you a front seat to one of the most game-changing concepts I've learned about behaviour and brain science: flipping your lid. You’ll hear me break down Dr…
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#132: The No-BS Back to School Breakdown! Exactly what I do lesson-by-lesson in Week 1 to build rapport, set expectations, and create routines that stick.
25:14
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25:14Back to school?! Whaaaaaaat?! If your first thought seeing this episode pop up was “Claire, I am still sipping margaritas and pretending I’ve never even heard of a seating plan,” I get it. 😅 But if you are gearing up for the next school year or term, this episode’s for you. I’m giving you a front seat to my no-BS, non-negotiables for the first week…
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EP 229: NeuroRelational Healing with Guest Sara Sherman
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55:42Healing comes in all forms, including on farms, with horses, and of course, in relationship. My guest this week, Sara Sherman, is a graduate of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s Professional Immersion Program and the founder of Dandelion NeuroRelational Family Services in Minnesota. Sara and I have a delightful chat about what it means to …
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{REPLAY} The Privilege of Parenting This Way (with safety)
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40:22
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40:22{Replay of Episode 169 from March 2024} Parenting with co-regulating and seeing below our kids behaviors is actually a privilege we rarely talk about. It’s always a privilege, but especially when we consider different marginalized and oppressed identities that a lot of kids- and those of you listening- intersectionally hold. In this episode, you’ll…
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#131: 4 sobering statistics that prove that teaching is the hardest, and most important job in the world.
26:32
26:32
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26:32TW: Mention of self-harm and suicide Ever left school feeling completely wrung out, wondering if you’re even cut out for this job? Same. And in this episode, I’m opening the curtain on one of the most raw, real reflections I’ve ever shared—because I know I’m not the only one who’s felt that way. This one’s a mix of real talk, sobering stats, and a …
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#130: Dealing with defiance? You don't need to say a word - you just need these 3 game-changing non-verbal strategies!
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14:45When talking more makes things worse… try this. Ever felt like the more you say, the more defiant your students become? Yeah. Been there. This episode is all about the subtle magic of nonverbal strategies — those tiny, calm, game-changing tools that help you shift students out of defiance and into direction without saying a word. Whether you're dea…
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EP 228: Supporting Kids who Live Part Time in a Home without Regulation, Connection, or Felt Safety with guest Sybil Cummin
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59:09What do you do when your child lives part-time in a home where regulation, connection, and felt safety aren't present? In this episode, I talk with Sybil Cummin, a therapist specializing in working with families navigating coercive control. Sybil shares practical guidance for showing up as a steady, safe presence for your child, even when the other…
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EP 227: Nothing Works! Are you burned out on tools?
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36:26Part of why you keep listening to this podcast is for parenting tools and strategies, right?? So, what do we do when it feels like nothing is working?! What’s really going on when parenting tools feel useless and you want to shout “THIS ISN’T WORKING?! In this episode, you’ll learn: Why parenting tools “work” when they come from connection, not pro…
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#129: The exact one-liners I use in the classroom when responding to defiant or challenging behaviour (and why every teacher needs these!)
18:20
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18:20What to do when a student flat-out says NO [Get the FREE Calm Scripts Guide: https://www.the-unteachables.com/calmscripts] Let’s talk about the moment every teacher dreads: You’ve asked a student to follow an instruction… and they just say “No.” Or ignore you. Or crank the volume on their phone. Or knock the work off the table. Whether it’s passive…
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#128: 4 ways imposter syndrome shows up for teachers in the classroom (and what you needed to know YESTERDAY to overcome it)
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20:12The imposter syndrome episode every teacher needs. You’re in the classroom, trying your best, showing up with good intentions… but there it is. That sneaky voice that whispers: “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.” Sound familiar? Yeah. Me too. In this episode, I’m walking you through four of the biggest ways imposter syndrome has crept into my teachin…
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EP 226: The Power of Delight in Parenting Kids with BBBs
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33:23I know- sometimes it feels impossible to feel delight toward your child. I get it! BUT! If you can find even micro-moments of delight, it can be very powerful for both you and your child. In this episode, you'll learn: How is delight related to secure attachment The science behind why it’s sometimes very hard to find delight in kids with vulnerable…
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#127: I met the King, and he asked me a question about the work I do with classroom management I was NOT expecting
17:21
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17:21Wait, did I just explain classroom management to the King?! Yep. That happened. In this episode, I’m giving you a front seat to one of the most bizarre, surreal, and pinch-me experiences of my life — being invited to Buckingham Palace and getting to literally talk to King Charles about what we do as educators. But more importantly, I want to unpack…
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EP 225: How to Stay Curious When Behavior Makes No Sense
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30:26When your child’s behavior leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, or even hopeless, staying curious might be the last thing on your mind. But curiosity is actually SO COOL! It’s both a parenting strategy AND a nervous system state. In this episode, we’ll explore how to access curiosity, even when behavior makes no sense, and how that curiosity he…
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When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk…well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn’t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least. In this episode, I explore why behavior change does matter, but why it’s not the first goal, especially for kids with vulnerable nervous syste…
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#126: How to support staff mindset shifts around behaviour approaches
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16:16This episode is in response to a great question: How do you support staff through mindset shifts? Whether you’re leading a team or just quietly modelling a new way of doing things, this episode is for you. IN THIS EPISODE, I DISCUSS: Why change feels so threatening – and what’s really underneath the resistance How to lead culture change without lec…
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Have you ever freaked out at your child and then later thought, “Where did that come from?” Yup, that’s being triggered! In this episode, we’ll unpack the neuroscience behind why we get triggered, what memory processing has to do with it, and how to find your way back to presence and connection. In this episode, you’ll learn: The anatomy of a trigg…
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#125: Q&A: Dealing with the class clown, when students gang up on you, and motivating unmotivated learners.
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20:35This week I’m doing something a little different – answering your questions! I asked over on Instagram what you needed support with when it comes to behaviour, and wow… you delivered. In this episode, I’m giving practical advice for three of the big ones: What to do when students gang up on you How to motivate learners who refuse to try How to mana…
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Ep. 222: Lying, Stealing, Regression & Baby Talk
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38:44Why do kids sometimes - or a lot of the time! - suddenly act much younger…or sneakier?! In this episode, we use Dr. Bruce Perry’s concept of state-dependent functioning to reframe some of the baffling behaviors as signs of stress, not signs of defiance. If you want to dive deeper into this topic, join us over in The Club. In June 2025, we’re having…
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#124: What to do when you’ve tried it all (and behaviour is STILL a battle).
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11:22You’ve followed the advice. You’ve implemented the strategies. You’ve worked your heart out – and still, that one student just isn’t responding. It feels hopeless. Like nothing’s shifting. Like all your effort is for nothing. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I’ve tried everything, and it’s not working,” this episode is for you. IN THIS EPISOD…
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Ep. 221: A Brain-Based Way to Understand Baffling Behavior
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29:36Could you use a short refresher about what I mean when I say your child’s "owl brain flew away"? Or do yoRu know someone who is willing to listen to a short explanation of how you’re approaching your child’s baffling behaviors? In this episode, I revisit - briefly- what behavior really is and the owl, watchdog, and possum brain metaphor. I explain …
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#123: How to stand tall and confident in front of your class (even in the midst of some tough as heck behaviours)
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16:21One thing nobody tells you before you step into a classroom is just how much behaviour will challenge you. Not just your strategies. You. Your nervous system. Your confidence. Your sense of self. In this episode, I’m talking about what it really feels like to manage behaviour in the moment – especially when you’re young, new, or not naturally loud …
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EP 220: Mini Pep-Talk for When You Feel Like You’re Failing
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18:43If you’ve clicked on this episode because you’re feeling like you're failing—at parenting, at keeping it together, at helping your child—I'm really glad you’re here. Because first, I want you to know this: you’re not failing. You’re doing something incredibly hard. Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system, whether your child has been impa…
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#122: “Miss, that deserves a detention!!” When students tell you how to do your job.
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13:27Students telling you who deserves a detention or questioning why you didn’t sanction someone? It’s frustrating, undermining – and it adds to the noise when you’re already handling behaviour. If this culture is creeping into your classroom, this episode will guide you on what to do next! IN THIS EPISODE, I DISCUSS: Why this dynamic is so frustrating…
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Ep 219: 20 Non-Therapy Therapeutic Interventions
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48:16If your kid refuses therapy, what other options are there? Or maybe they don’t refuse therapy, but you’d still like to increase the therapeutic support for your child and family. Here are 20 different non-therapy therapeutic supports based on Dr. Perry’s work of ‘moments of healing’ and experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, and som…
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#121: 4 steps to building confidence in your classroom management
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19:35If you’re drowning in behaviour… If you’re thinking, “I actually can’t keep doing this”… If you’re exhausted from trying everything and nothing’s sticking… You are not alone. And you are not the problem. Confidence in classroom management can come with time and experience. But often, it doesn’t. That’s why I created a clear path forward. In this ep…
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#120: Your teaching IS your classroom management. Here are 3 ways to make it work for you
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17:23You’re trying to support every student – but the second you lean in to help one, the rest of the class starts to drift. The volume rises. The off-task behaviour begins. And you feel pulled in every direction. It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting. And it’s not sustainable. In this episode, we break down why this keeps happening – and what to do instea…
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Ep 218: Questions to ask a Potential Therapist
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52:11Have you ever wondered what types of questions you should ask a new therapist to assess how well they understand behaviors through the lens of the nervous system? No need to take notes during this episode, I created downloadable handouts you can access with just one click. Listen to the episode then head over to my website! PLEASE NOTE. These are s…
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Kids with vulnerable nervous systems need more co-regulation than other kids their age and yes it’s exhausting. Did you know it’s possible to be GOOD exhausted and not just BAD exhausted?!?! It’s you’re chronically exhausted, you’re probably not doing as much co-regulation as you are masking how dysregulated you are. And hey- no judgment here! This…
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