The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.
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Personalitytest Podcasts
New York Times Bestselling author and international speaking sensation Sally Hogshead shares little nuggets about her How to Fascinate® system. Sally developed the Fascination Advantage® assessment, your key to discovering how the world sees you. Find out how to leverage your unique traits to boost your career, improve your relationships and live more authentically.
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Don’t Box Yourself In: Using the Enneagram Well in Your Marriage
18:10
18:10
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18:10Using the Enneagram in your marriage can be a beautiful tool for connection, but if we’re not mindful, it can also quietly create barriers, misunderstandings, or even resentment. In this midweek reset, Christa offers a heartfelt reminder to approach the Enneagram with wisdom, grace, and a deeper understanding of your spouse’s full humanity. Whether…
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AI and the Dangers of Losing of Human Connection w/Amy Wicks, Type 7
37:48
37:48
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37:48Today we talk about AI and the dangers of losing human connection with a dear colleague and friend, Amy Wicks (Simply Wholehearted outreach and podcast), who many of our listeners know as an Enneagram coach and is also an Enneagram & Marriage Certified Coach as well! We're starting a second AI conversation (listen to the first here) which will wil…
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The Stories We Tell About Each Other: Shaping Healthy Narratives in Marriage
15:20
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15:20Transform your marriage by understanding how the stories you tell about your partner's Enneagram type literally create your relationship reality. Marriage coach Christa dives deep into the psychology of narrative and reveals how negative internal stories become self-fulfilling prophecies that either invite growth or trigger defensiveness in your sp…
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Resting in Being Deeply Loved: How Empathy Transforms You w/Drs. Bill and Kristi Gaultiere, 1-2 Pairing
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41:37Bill and Kristi Gaultiere discovered that before they could truly empathize with each other in marriage, they first needed to experience God's deep empathy for them. In this conversation, the Type 1 and Type 2 couple share how understanding their different Enneagram approaches to apologies and empathy transformed their relationship. They discuss pr…
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From Criticism to Connection w/FamilyLife Today's Dave and Ann Wilson, 7-7 Pairing
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42:42
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42:42Join us for a heartwarming conversation with Dave and Ann Wilson, the beloved husband-and-wife team behind FamilyLife Today and former co-founders of Kensington Church in Michigan. As two Enneagram 7s married for over 40 years (and former Detroit Lions chaplains!), they share the beautiful chaos and hard-won wisdom of building lasting love when you…
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Breaking the Cycle: How to Stop Protest Behaviors from Destroying Your Marriage
29:48
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29:48Learn how to break destructive protest behavior cycles before they destroy your marriage! In Part 2 of the protest behaviors series, marriage therapy expert Christa Hardin explores why these patterns escalate from mild criticism or withdrawal to explosive fights and emotional shutdown. Discover childhood origins of each Enneagram type's specific pr…
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The Hidden Drama: Why Protest Behaviors Sabotage Love
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13:10Uncover the hidden drama sabotaging marriages everywhere! Marriage coach Christa explores protest behaviors - the unconscious patterns where spouses criticize, withdraw, create drama, or become passive-aggressive instead of directly communicating their needs. Discover why your partner acts out instead of speaking up through specific protest behavio…
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From Dropout to Doctorate: A Marriage on a Mission w/Dr. Terence Lester and Cecilia Lester, 8-7 Pairing
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50:36
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50:36Discover an extraordinary journey from gang violence and homelessness to a PhD and community leadership in today's pod! Dr. Terence Lester and his wife, Cecilia Lester share how he went from high school dropout living in his car to earning five degrees and becoming a powerful advocate for educational justice and how they, as a couple, have been hel…
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Creating Weekend Rhythms That Actually Restore You
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26:54Transform your weekends from exhausting catch-up time to genuine restoration! Marriage coach Christa explores how to create weekend rhythms that actually renew your energy, strengthen relationships, and feed your soul. Discover why constant stimulation prevents emotional processing and learn practical strategies for restorative movement , delicious…
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The 5-9 After Your 9-5: Creating Evening Routines That Actually Stick
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23:22Transform your evenings with sustainable routines inspired by Benjamin Franklin's daily reflection practice! Here in this fast-listen Fall opener, Christa shares her personal 5-9 routine and Reddit research on how people actually spend their after-work hours. Discover evening frameworks for Head, Heart, and Body types, plus the critical fitness rem…
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An E + M Vacation Special: The Great European Adventure Audio Diary
1:19:22
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1:19:22Join marriage coach Christa for a delightfully honest audio diary of her European family adventure! From London subway mishaps to finding her great-grandmother's mysterious grave on the Croatian island of Mali Lošinj, this episode captures the beautiful chaos of ambitious travel with heart and humor. Experience the highs and lows of trains through …
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What We Find in the Dark w/Aubrey Samson, 4: Finding God in the Midnight Hours of Our Lives
38:42
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38:42Navigate the midnight hours of life and faith with profound wisdom from author Aubrey Sampson, Enneagram 4 (4-7 pairing), as we discover what we actually find in spiritual darkness through Aubrey's soul-wrenching journey of losing her best friend Jen and encountering the "dark night of the soul." Learn why spiritual dryness isn't failure but invita…
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How Superhero Teams Shine Together: Jurassic, Fantastic 4, Cobra Kai & Superman Show Us The Glow
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44:05Discover your relationship's hidden superpowers through summer blockbuster wisdom! Christa (7) and Melody (9) explore how storylines and superhero teams demonstrate the best and worst of personality . Analyze the way the SP, SX, and SO instincts in Jurassic World Rebirth go right and wrong, Fantastic Four's perfect type diversity, and dive deep int…
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From Observation to Transformation: The Enneagram in the Natural World w. Dr. Angela Rosenberg, 2
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53:11Have you noticed humans learn better through story, metaphor, and the five senses than through thinking alone? Discover the fun of personality growth through the extraordinary lens of personality patterns we see mirrored in nature this late summer with Dr. Angela Rosenberg, Type 2, author of her book "Being on the Wing: Feathered Reflections on the…
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Sexual Integration: Accessing Your Intimate Superpower
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22:28Discover your intimate superpower through sexual integration! In this finale episode, marriage coach Christa reveals what healthy sexual expression looks like for each Enneagram type - from Type 1's relaxed presence finding perfection in imperfect moments to Type 8's gentle strength and vulnerable power. Learn how sexual integration isn't about bec…
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When Types Collide: Navigating Sexual Shadows and Growth
21:37
21:37
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21:37Navigate sexual challenges with compassion through understanding Enneagram shadows in intimacy! Marriage coach Christa explores how each type's protective patterns create predictable conflicts - from Type 1 perfectionism blocking pleasure to Type 8 intensity overwhelming partners to Type 9s disconnecting during intimate moments. Discover common typ…
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How to Map Your Spouse's Pleasure Languages & Sensory Preferences
18:35
18:35
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18:35Discover the secret pleasure languages that could revolutionize your intimate connection! In this episode of the summer sizzle series, marriage coach Christa reveals how each Enneagram type has a unique way of experiencing and expressing physical pleasure - from visual connection (Types 1,4,7) to touch-centered intimacy (Types 8,9,2) to auditory ap…
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Responsive Desires: How Each Type Receives Intimacy Invitations
25:18
25:18
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25:18Understanding how your partner receives intimate invitations is just as important as how they initiate them! Discover why response styles have everything to do with personality as you learn about the gentle approach types, those who need beautiful and unhurried environments, and those who just need to know you see them in their joyful enthusiasm. W…
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Discover why you and your partner seem to have completely different experiences during intimacy! In this revelatory episode, Christa explores how your Enneagram type determines whether you connect sexually through your body (Gut Types 8, 9, 1), emotions (Heart Types 2, 3, 4), or mind (Head Types 5, 6, 7). Through real couple stories like Sarah & Mi…
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Initiation Styles: How Each Type Starts the Dance of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
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17:04Discover the secret language of sexual initiation in marriage through the Enneagram! In this groundbreaking episode, marriage coach Christa explores how each of the nine personality types initiates intimacy in completely different ways - and why misreading these signals creates disconnection in the bedroom. Learn about the three distinct initiation…
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The Pursuit of Happiness Together: Building Joy in Marriage
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21:35
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21:35What if the secret to a happy marriage isn't finding the right person, but creating the right conditions for joy to flourish together? In this uplifting episode, discover why happiness in marriage is less about constant bliss and more about intentional practices that build lasting joy. Learn the difference between fleeting pleasure and sustainable …
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When Looking Within Becomes Problematic: Gazing at God w/Sharon Hodde Miller, Type 7 (7-3)
38:00
38:00
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38:00Tired of the mental exhaustion that comes from constantly wondering what others think of you? In this episode, bestselling author and pastor Sharon Hodde Miller, Enneagram 7 (7-3 pairing) reveals why examining our life without just gazing inward, but also up at God and outwardly to others can also help us to break free from the self-focused scripts…
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Breaking Chains: Independence from Old Marriage Patterns
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15:45Sometimes the most powerful chains in marriage are the ones we can't see. In this transformative episode, discover how to identify and break free from the four invisible patterns that keep couples stuck: the Scorekeeper Chain (mental tallies and resentment), the Mind-Reading Chain (expecting partners to anticipate needs), the Perfection Chain (redo…
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When Addiction Enters the Marriage: Jimmy & Irene Rollins (7-9) on Breaking Cycles & Finding Healing
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52:52In this powerful episode, former megachurch pastors Jimmy and Irene Rollins share their raw journey from a marriage that was "surviving, not thriving" to genuine transformation after addiction threatened everything they'd built. For fifteen years, the couple maintained a thriving public ministry while privately struggling—Irene battling alcohol add…
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What Tolkien's Middle Earth Teach Us About Relationships w/Phil Nation, 4, Thomas Nelson
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41:38What can hobbits, elves, and the wisdom of Middle-earth teach us about relationships? In this special conversation, Christa sits down with Philip Nation, publisher at Thomas Nelson and lifelong Tolkien enthusiast, to explore the profound relationship wisdom hidden within J.R.R. Tolkien's beloved stories. From the faithful friendship of Sam and Frod…
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Beyond Stereotypes: Understanding The Higher-Desire Wife w/Author & Speaker J. Parker
47:24
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47:24In today's episode, we challenge the common assumption that men always want more sex than women in marriage. Join us as we speak with J. Parker, author of "The Higher-Desire Wife," about the estimated 25% of marriages where wives have a higher sex drive at various seasons of marriage. We explore multiple causes of mismatched desire beyond stereotyp…
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Masculine Strength, Feminine Strength: What Your Personality Type Reveals About Both
14:49
14:49
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14:49Here in this E + M mini, Christa explores the concepts of masculinity and femininity, as well as the tendency of certain types to lean toward different qualities, and how understanding this can transform your marriage dynamics. Learn which qualities come naturally to your type, which ones you might need to develop, and how accessing both strength a…
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The Allender Center's Rachael Clinton Chen, 2: Hope and Healing for Couples After Spiritual Trauma
47:41
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47:41Join Christa for a crucial conversation with Rachel Clinton Chen, MDiv and faculty at The Allender Center, about spiritual abuse and its unique impact on marriages. Rachel brings both professional expertise and Type 2 heart-centered wisdom to this difficult but necessary topic. Discover how spiritual abuse differs from general church hurt, the spec…
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From The Chosen to Family Films: Nathan & D'Lytha Myers on Technology, Parenting, and Creative Collaboration, 4-5 Pairing
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43:07
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43:07Join us for an inspiring conversation with filmmakers Nathan (Type 4) and D'Lytha (Type 5) Myers as they share their unique journey of marriage, parenting, and creating meaningful entertainment together. Nathan, known for his work on The Chosen and now running Grafted Studios, brings passionate creativity, while D'Lytha offers thoughtful wisdom. To…
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Tenth Avenue North’s Mike Donehey, Type 4: Bringing Light to Dark Seasons of Life
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44:37
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44:37What does it mean to bring light to the darkest seasons of life and faith? In this deeply moving post-Father’s Day episode, Mike Donehey, lead singer of the reunited Tenth Avenue North, shares the heart behind their new album “Learning to Trust.” As a social Type 4 married to a Type 2, Mike demonstrates the courage to go to those dark feelings, sit…
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When Emotions Are High: How to Self-Soothe in Relationships
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14:42
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14:42When emotions run high in relationships, knowing how to self-soothe can make the difference between connection and disconnection. In this practical mini-episode, we explore a few way each instinctual variant, Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual/One-to-One, approaches calming when feelings are intense. We also break down a bit further to designate…
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Stories In Our Struggles: Terry Real's RLT Approach to Conflict with Zach Brittle, 8 (8-2 Pairing)
57:06
57:06
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57:06What if the key to a stronger marriage isn't avoiding conflict, but learning to dig in and work through difficult moments? In this practical episode, marriage therapist and relational life therapist Zach Brittle, 8 brings over a decade of professional wisdom combined with personal insights from his Type 8-Type 2 marriage. Host of the popular Marria…
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The Unfiltered Truth About Aging and Advocacy with Kathleen Henderson, 8 -9 pairing
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54:20
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54:20What does it mean to age with strength and wisdom? In this powerful episode, Kathleen Henderson, 8 (8-9 pairing) shares her honest journey and OR nursing background to help others through health challenges, empowering you to use your voice and your spouse through the seasons through health challenges and through the evolution of marriage in later s…
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The Beautiful Home Reset: Refining Your Spaces Together w/Whitney English, 4
54:05
54:05
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54:05As we step into a summer of refinement here at Enneagram and Marriage, what better time to focus on creating homes that truly work for our families? In this insightful episode, interior design and home organization expert and author Whitney English, Type 4 (4-9 pairing), shares her room-by-room approach to creating spaces that are both beautiful an…
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AI in Your Marriage: For Better or for Worse
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28:02Is artificial intelligence becoming the third party in your marriage? In this timely episode, we explore the growing trend of couples turning to AI for relationship advice, planning, and emotional processing. Based on survey data from real couples, Christa unpacks three major benefits AI brings to marriage—from vacation planning to communication to…
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Special: Author Kristen Strong (2-5 Pairing) on Friendship, Loneliness & the Courage to Try Again
50:09
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50:09In this special Memorial Day episode, Enneagram Type 2 Kristen Strong shares her powerful journey as a social Enneagram 2 giver and also military wife who spent two decades moving across the world, constantly rebuilding friendships and community. Author of "Desperate Woman Seeks Friends," Kristen offers vulnerable insights into the acute loneliness…
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To Wholly Love Someone: The Healthy Practices We Need to Love More Fully
28:47
28:47
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28:47What does it truly mean to love someone with your whole being? In this transformative episode, we explore the essential practices needed to move beyond surface-level connection into profound, soul-nourishing love. Drawing from both Enneagram wisdom and practical relationship insights, we unpack how your personality type influences your capacity for…
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Embracing Adventure & Partnership in Marriage w/Hillary McCaskey (8-9 Pairing)
54:06
54:06
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54:06Influencer and Coach (Enneagram & Coaching) Hillary McCaskey, 9w8 joins Christa to explore how her Enneagram type shapes her marriage to an 8. Together they discuss how Hillary's 972 Tritype influences her ability to support her Type 8 husband's dreams while finding her own voice—culminating in both a healthier and more attuned marriage as well as …
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Enneagram Wing Influence: Understanding Subtle Differences
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25:01Christa takes you on a journey through the subtle influences of Enneagram wings in marriage relationships. In this illuminating episode, she explores how our wing tendencies can sometimes take over our interactions with our spouse without us even realizing it. From the silent withdrawal of a 1w9 to the stubborn resistance of a 9w8, Christa breaks d…
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A Mother's Day Special: When You Thought It Would Be Better Than This w/Jessica Turner, Author, 8
27:05
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27:05Just in time for Mother's Day, this special episode features Wall Street Journal bestselling author Jessica Turner sharing hard-earned wisdom about rebuilding when life veers dramatically off-script. Whether you didn't get to have kids, your marriage is different than what you wanted, or like Jessica, your marriage took a turn in a different direct…
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Strength in Surrender: A Type Eight's Guide to Vulnerability and Connection
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14:51In this illuminating mini-episode for anyone who finds themselves in a reactive Enneagram Eight space, Christa unveils tools for finding and accessing the hidden vulnerability healthily beneath the Eight armor. Whether you're an Eight, have an Eight wing or arrow connection, or love someone with Eight energy, this episode offers crucial insights in…
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The Dance of Connection: How Emotional Regulation Transforms Your Marriage
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24:21In this stance episode, Christa helps you to explore how our emotional regulation patterns impact our closest relationships through the lens of stances. This episode dives into the three stress stances—moving against, moving away, and moving toward—and how understanding these unconscious reactions can transform your marriage. Whether you're caught …
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Underestimated: The Surprisingly Simple Shift to Quit Playing Small w/Mary Marantz, Type 4 (4-9 Pairing)
46:14
46:14
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46:14It's all been done. I can't start until it's perfect. What if the critics come? In this episode, Christa talks with Mary Marantz, Enneagram 4, about her journey from growing up in a trailer in rural West Virginia to becoming a Yale Law graduate, successful entrepreneur, and author, only to learn she was still underestimating herself. This empowerin…
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Why Great Relationships Still Get Stuck: Moving Around the Enneagram
12:48
12:48
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12:48Ever wonder why personal growth seems to follow predictable patterns of progress and plateau? In this illuminating episode, we dive into one of the Enneagram's most fascinating but rarely discussed aspects: moving around the whole Enneagram system. Learn how this powerful concept applies to everything from skill-building to relationship development…
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Engaging in Personal & Relationship Bible Study w/Philip Nation, VP & Publisher, Thomas Nelson , 4
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35:27In this illuminating episode of the Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, we welcome Philip Nation, Vice-President/Publisher of Thomas Nelson Bibles and acclaimed author (Enneagram 4) to explore the powerful intersection of faith, scripture study, and marital connection. Philip shares his expertise on making the Bible accessible in relationships, offerin…
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Holy Lament: Creating Space with God in Holy Week
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10:53In this special mid-week mini episode, Christa explores the ancient practice of biblical lament as a pathway to deeper intimacy with God and our spouses. Discover why expressing honest sorrow and questions to God isn't just permitted but modeled throughout scripture—from the Psalms to Jesus himself on the cross. Learn how each Enneagram type bypass…
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Building a Thriving Marriage & Business with Brad and Sarah Johnson, 7-6
1:01:41
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1:01:41In this engaging episode, Brad and Sarah Johnson, Triad Partners, reveal how life as an entrepreneurial couple (Brad is the co-founder of Triad Partners) creates both unique challenges and extraordinary strengths in their marriage, family, and business. Brad and Sarah (types 7 and 6 pairing) share candidly about their journey and deep dive with us …
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Holding Vigil: The Sacred Arts of Prayer and Presence in Marriage
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17:37
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17:37In this heartfelt episode, discover the transformative power of "holding vigil" for your spouse through prayer and presence in a way that costs, but also really gives, both to you and your spouse. Learn both general tips and how each Enneagram type uniquely supports their partner during difficult times, and what challenges they face in staying pres…
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When Both Partners Carry the Mental Load: A Better Share with Dr. Morgan Cutlip
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48:35Who can get in a sexy state of mind when they're dealing with the triple threat of emotional load, cognitive load, and the physical demands of partnership and parenting, too? Mental load inequity is now recognized as the leading source of relationship tension through research, but what can we do about that when not one but both partners feel equall…
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Beyond the Box: When You Don't Fit Just One Enneagram Type
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22:18
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22:18When your personality seems to straddle multiple Enneagram types, it can feel confusing or even invalidating. In this illuminating episode, we explore what it means when you identify strongly with two or more Enneagram patterns, referencing insights from Dr. Dan Siegel's previous conversation on the show. Discover why this "multi-type resonance" is…
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